A few days ago, I was at my friend’s house watching a playoff hockey game. Although I wasn’t found of the two teams who were battling it out, I found myself surprised at feeling anxiety for a specific team. I felt especially anxious when the opposing team were menacing the goalie of the home team – within which I found myself rooting for the opposing team because of grudges that I maintained for the home team. I did not like the home team primarily because of the lack of support the team have from its home fans. When watching a hockey game that doesn’t feature my home team, the personal benchmark that mostly determines if I will root for a team or not remains the amount of support the team has from its home fan base. As an example, if the arena of the home team remains mostly empty, I do not root for the team whereas if the arena is full or near being full, I root for the home team because I then see that the team has the support from its home fan base.
The reason why I always root for the team, other than my home team, which has the most support from its fan base is because hockey as a sport isn`t doing that well in the united states, as opposed to other team sports like baseball. Being from Canada and having always rooted for hockey as a sport in general, I want it to succeed in the United States. The fact that hockey isn’t amongst the top 5 sports in the United States is a bit of a letdown for me, because I see hockey as being a great team sports, mostly because I have been living in a culture that has a rather religious relationship with hockey. To me, when I see an American arena filled with fans while attending an hockey game makes me feel good inside. The opposite is also true when I see an American arena filled with empty seats when an hockey game is played. The reason why I felt anxious when the home team were menacing to the visiting team while watching the hockey game a few days ago, was because the home team lacked in support from it’s fan base as there were many empty seats while the game went on.
Thus, I felt anxious when the home team was in attack mode. This feeling of anxiety while watching an hockey game on T.V. has been with me for most of my life and it is now the time to look further into it through the process of self-forgiveness and self-correct myself in order to stop participating in the mind as the manifestation of anxiety when I watch an hockey game.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious when watching an hockey game on television.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel anxious when watching an hockey game on T.V. because of the grudges that I maintain within the silences of my mind towards a specific team in general.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to maintain grudges towards the specific teams for which the home fan base do not show its appreciation towards its team.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to concern myself with petty little things such as the amount of fans a team is able to have in it’s home arena while playing the sport of hockey.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to despise the teams that plays in front of almost empty arenas because of the apparent lack of interest towards hockey by the home team fan base.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel affected by the successes or failures of hockey franchises according to the amount or lack of fan support for the home team.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the reason why I feel affected by the successes or failures of a hockey franchise comes from me projecting myself as my own wishes and desires towards a team that I place my attention upon.
I forgive myself that I
haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of happiness that comes whenever I see a hockey team being successful within its home fan base is directly related to the happiness that I feel whenever I succeed in whatever field of interest or endeavour of mine.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of sadness that comes whenever I see a hockey team being unsuccessful within its home fan base is directly related to the sadness that I feel/experience whenever I fail in whatever field of interest of endeavour of mine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my attention on sports rather than on the real problems of this world.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the existence of sports is mostly interesting to the rulers of the world and it’s current system because of the diversion that it creates within the global population – within which people prefer placing their attention on petty little games rather than placing our attention on the greater problems of this world, so that we can resolve them once and for all.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the rulers of this world only wants us to be as entertained as possible – throughout sports and the entertainment industry in general – so that we become oblivious to the sufferings in this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the entertainment industry while watching sports in television and thus continue on with the abuse in this world as my attention is brought elsewhere than where it has to be in order that we can fix the problems of this world so that the abuse of life may stop once and for all, one and equal as life.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of anxiety of ‘watching an hockey game on tv’, I stop, breathe, see if I have missed an opportunity to self correct into Oneness and Equality from which the anxiety arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the anxiety and self correct, if not I stop, self forgive my participation in anxiety as an automated response to a pattern of self Abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “winners and losers” and from judging myself and others as ‘winners or losers’, through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of Illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every Living Being.
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