I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people like me more when I am happy, wherein I would deliberately manipulate my behaviour so that I would project an image of myself as that of being happy, while being dishonest through feeling otherwise within myself, instead of realising that I am not here to make others feel better about themselves through me projecting an image of being happy, but that I am HERE to express who I am unconditionally within self-honesty so that the results of my actions would benefit all and everyone as that which is best for all life, is best for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek/desire/want others to feel better about themselves through me manipulating my expression so that I would project “high energy as myself” towards others, instead of realising the dishonesty in such expression as the expression would only be made existent in order to manipulate the feelings of others so that they could feel happy about themselves – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play with the feelings of others through me exerting myself as having “high energy”, because of the desire to see others as being happy around me, even if that would mean the suppression of the self-honest expression as myself because of being manipulated by my wants/needs/desires to make others feel happy about themselves, rather than expressing myself as who I am HERE in self-honesty – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that whenever I express myself within “high energy”, that I am expressing myself as being “superior” to another which I then silently within backchat perceive as being “inferior” to myself, from within which I suppress the feeling of inferiority within myself so as to project the image of superiority towards another, instead of stopping such participation of “superiority” and “inferiority” within myself, through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others like me more when I am within the state of being manic, as the state I am in whenever I feel an excessive amount of energy within and as myself within a specific moment of self-expression, through me acting and behaving excessively within the presence of others, wherein I would exaggerate the meaning of what I would be expressing within the energetic flux and flow of my expression, instead of acting and behaving in accordance to who I am within and as stability, as the consequence of me remaining stable within and as the BREATH so that my expression becomes that of life, so that the words I speak and the expression of myself remains unhindered by energetic sub currents such as the energy that I am usually possessed of when I am within a state of manic/high energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people like me more when I have high energy, where I would take substances such as coffee only so that my expression becomes more energetic, wherein I would feel more confident about myself through communicating with another only if I would experience myself as having “high energy” such as the energy which is present within myself when I take substances such as coffee or sugar – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my expression so that it would carry an high amount of energy, so as to feel as being in control of the situation through the confidence that the “high energy” brings into me, instead of realising that whenever I act in accordance with my desires to express myself through “high energy”, that I reinforce the accepted and allowed participation within my mind, such as the accepted and allowed participation within friction as spite/blame as the energetic origins of my expression, instead of stopping such expression of myself as they are games of the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for all as what is best for all is best for me, One and Equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am is not a being of energy, which is contrary to what I started believing in when I first discovered spirituality 12 years ago, but that who I am is the being as the physical as life, Equal and One with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more confident within myself whenever I express myself through the flux and flow of “high energy”, because of the learned behaviour/belief that I only have a short amount of time to express myself whenever I am within the flux and flow of a conversation with another being, wherein I would force myself to express as much as I could within a “short time span” – because of the belief/perception that others would only allow/grant me a “short amount of time for my self-expression within a given conversation”, where I would “cram” as much information as I could within the perceived “window of opportunity” as the “short time span” that I perceived I was allowed to express myself within a given conversation – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “talk as fast as I could” and thus to “expense as much energy as I could” whenever I had the opportunity to express myself within the perceived “window of opportunity” that I believed others would grant me within a conversation, instead of realising that the act of me “talking as fast as I can” is the act of talking without awareness of who I am/was within the HERE moment, and thus, that I was dishonest within my expression – only expressing myself so that I could give out as much knowledge and information and energy as possible within a short time span, while remaining oblivious to the expression of myself within the HERE moment, which is/was a dishonest expression of who I really am HERE as the BREATH – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that knowledge and information without practical application is useless and thus, that my self-expression within and as knowledge and information only is useless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk as fast as I can when I have an opportunity to talk within the span of a conversation with another being, because of the perception that I only have a short amount of time to express myself when within a conversation with another being, because of the imprinted programming that I have accepted and allowed within and as myself as that of not being considered by others when within a conversation – unless my expression is swift/fast enough so that I could/can take the “window of opportunity” within a given conversation, so as to make my expression heard by others – instead of realising that who I am as an honest expression of myself, is not an expression of “swiftness” but is an expression of stability as calmness as who I am HERE within and as the BREATH within and as every moment in self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately manipulate my expression when I am with the company of another, so that I would be perceived as having a lot of energy, because of the belief/perception/illusion that others only like/appreciate/love me when and if I express myself through the filters of “high energy” or happiness – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that whenever I allow myself to be manipulated by energy through the desire to have others like/appreciate/love me, that I accept and allow myself to participate within the polarities of the mind and the games of winners and losers wherein I would project myself as being a “winner” through the association/relationship/belief that only “winners” have “high energy” as “positivity” and that only “losers” have “low energy” as “negativity” – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that in order for me to express myself as a winner as “having high energy”, that I have to simultaneously suppress myself as a loser as “having low energy”, wherein that suppression as the “loser” as “having low energy” as myself will always return to my consciousness within another moment, thus making me manipulated by my emotions because of through me accepting and allowing myself to be the “winner as having high energy”, I also simultaneously accept and allow myself to be the “loser as having low energy”, wherein the “loser” will ultimately end up expressing itself as myself within another moment, as soon as I allow myself to express the “winner” as myself – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me expressing myself as the “winner” as the one “having high energy”, that I will automatically express myself as being the “loser” as the one “having low energy” within another moment as myself, instead of stopping such participation within the polarities of the mind through me returning to myself HERE within and as the BREATH, as the self-honest expression of who I am within any given moment.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire of making others happy” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “I need to make others feel happy about themselves so that I could feel happy about myself”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring to make others feel happy about themselves through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com