I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed because of not having received the call from a new girlfriend that I was expecting to call me, wherein I would churn within my mind, asking myself the question if I was good enough for her, if my voice was good enough for her because of only having communicated with her through the phone and where I haven’t met her yet – wherein I have judged her only based on her voice and what she told me over the phone and at the same time by the same token, wherein she have only judged me based on my voice and what I told her over the phone, considering that I had not expressed myself in a good enough fashion so as to “please her” over the phone, because of the fact that she hasn’t called me at the time where she told me that she would have called me – and where I was brought to believe, because of that fact, that she wasn’t interested in me anymore – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge her rather than not participating within judgment through me remaining stable within and as the breath. I now see/realise/understand that who I really am is not the fabric of judgments and that such a fabric is only dependant on the acceptances and allowances of the mind as who I believe myself to be rather than who I really am as life as the physical, One and Equal with all living beings – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was participating within the polarity of the mind within me feeling depressed because of not receiving her call when I was expecting it, thereby expressing myself as the negative energy experience of myself as the feeling of depression in contrast with the positive energy experience of myself as the feeling of being ecstatic.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that by me accepting and allowing myself to experience myself as being ecstatic/positive that I automatically allow myself to experience myself as being depressed/negative within another given moment as the game of polarities of the mind seek out balancing acts in order to balance out the play outs of my participation within energy – where the expression of myself as positive energy automatically generates a counter movement going from the positive to the neutral to the negative energy, in order to balance out the inequalities between both energies within and as my mind, instead of realising the abuse in such participation within energy as the mind and stopping such participation within abuse. If and when I see myself participating within energy as the mind, I stop, BREATHE, see if I have a point that I have missed or haven’t considered forgiving myself about, if so, I self-forgive my participation within such a point and apply the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application until such points gets released from my physical body as that I remain STABLE HERE within and as myself within and as the BREATH as who I am in self-honesty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish the impression of myself within that I allowed myself to experience myself within negative energy as the deception that I experienced within myself when, from within the past few days, I was waiting for her to call me, wherein the call never came until today where as I was waiting for her to call me, I allowed myself to experience myself as depressive because of the feeling that I had of being rejected by her, because of my past experiences with girls where the outcome turned out to be negative.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ecstatic about myself now that I have received the call from the girl I was expecting to call me, wherein I felt a release within and as my solar plexus when I received her call just a few moments ago, as I felt the energy swell up within myself, going from the negative to the neutral to the positive, so that it reached the state of the feeling of ecstasy within myself – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in such a way that the feelings were generated automatically within and as myself, through my accepted and allowed participation within feelings ever since I was born, instead of realising that life is not a feeling as a feeling is a programmed emotional response to an outer stimuli for the purpose of the enslavement of beings. I now see/realise/understand that who I am is not a positive or negative feeling and that if I see myself participate within such construct of the mind, that I stop, BREATHE, see if I have a point that I have not yet considered within self-honesty, apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so that I stop such participation within the mind and become a living example for what is best for all, Equal and One with the physical as Life.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “energy participation” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting for a girl to be with me”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring to be with a girlfriend through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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