I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a spiritual being as an energetic entity, wherein I have established that belief ever since I had a “mystical experience” back in the end of the 90’s, where I have experienced myself “above and outside” of my human physical body, wherein I could see/perceive/visualise my body from the outside after having had a mystical experience of some sorts, instead of realising the common sense within the fact that the “mystical experience” that I experienced of me being outside of the body was an experience within and of the mind alone, as I was then within the perspective of energy as the mind as what I perceived within and as myself within that specific moment was a perception of the outlines of my physical body as being of energy, and that through this experience I was brought to believe as being an energetic being rather than a physical being – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am is that which everyone is within and as common sense as the common grounds upon which reality is experienced for all living beings in this world, as that of the physicality as my physical body as all as one as equal, rather than identifying myself as being unique within the perspective of me being made of energy after having had a “personal experience” of myself as an energetic representation of myself when seen within and as the mind alone.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the fact that the mystical experience that I experienced as me being outside of my body was in fact “not who I really am” as that which I really am is of the flesh as the physical as all living beings on this world and where the experience that I had of me being a being of energy was ultimately a false representation of who I really am, because of being dependant on energy for its sustenance, wherein who I truly am is not dependant on energy as energy is doomed to expire and thus is not eternal, and that who I am is eternal as the physical within the fact that all of that which constitutes me is made of physical matter that will go back to its source as the earth from which my body was constituted when I will die.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am is ultimately not a being of energy, as that which my mystical experience brought me to believe as being my ultimate identity, but that who I am is within that which is perceived through the common senses of all living beings on this earth, as that of being a being of physicality as flesh rather than a being of energy as light – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experience that I had back in the end of the 90’s was an experience which was fuelled by my mind alone, and that as such was an experience that was dependant on the energies that could/was generated within and as my mind alone, oblivious to my physical body as who I truly am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that who I am within the very nature of my being, is that of being made of energy, because of having read in the beginning of the year 2000, the story of a man who had had a near death experience wherein he described having seen his “life review” where the perception of himself as being made of energy was perceived and shared through his testimony and from within which I was made to believe that who I am at the very core of my being, was a being which was equal to the description that the man made about himself as being a being made of and as energy – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the testimony that the man made about his near death experience was a testimony that was made from and within the starting point of the mind alone, and as such was in full separation of what we are as the physical as life, one and equal to all living beings – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to believe/perceive/think that who I really was/am was/is a being of energy, that I was in fact deceiving myself into the delusion of the mind because of my own vested self-interest in wanting/desiring/needing to perceive myself as that which I was not, because of the desire/want/need to have perceived myself as being something which was “greater” than who I really was/am as the physical, because of the negative perception that I then had of my physical self, as the perception of me being a “loser” in life, and where the thought/desire/need of me being made “more” through the perspective of being made of energy, was particularly enticing to me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “feeling” of “high energy” that I experienced within myself as I was reading the testimony of the near death experience of the man back in the year 2000, was a feeling which was generated by the mind alone and as such, that all internal images/imagery that flowed through my mind as a consequence to me reading his testimony were only images/projections of myself which only conveyed my desire to be made equal to the mental image of divine beings as energetic entities, instead of the very real image presentation of myself as my physical body because of me wanting/desiring to see myself as being “more than” who I truly was/am as the physical as all as one as equal as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, from the moment where I finished reading the testimony of the man who had a near death experience, have constructed within and as my mind, the personality/entity of “high energy”, from within which I have accepted and allowed myself to think was my “true self” because of the fulfillment that that “idea/thought” of myself brought within myself as the fulfillment of “knowing” who I truly was as something which is “higher” than who I was/am as the physical – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “positive energy” that I experienced as the “new found belief that I was a being of energy”, was the direct consequence of the friction that had been brewing within and as my mind, between the “negative feelings” that was carried by the general negative impression of myself as that of only being this “tiny physical being” and the positive energy as the desire/friction of myself to be “more than” who I truly was/am as the physical being.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the mental image of being communicating with beings of light, which came to me after having read the testimony of the man who had a near death experience, were only mental images/projections that were produced by the mind alone and in no way was representative of who I truly am, as I was brought to believe through the testimony of the man’s near death experience, only because such a testimony answered my desires to be made “more than” who I truly was as the physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “energy participation” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “being more than who I really am as the physical”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring to be more than who I truly am as the physical, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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