I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire experiencing the “emotional high” that comes from smoking pot, whereas I would experience an emotional high within and as my mind through the act of smoking pot, not realising that prior to the desire of smoking pot, the act of experiencing an high would bring about an experience of a “low” right after the moment where the experience of the “high” would be experienced, thus making me bounce around within and as my mind within the energetic experiences of highs and lows, instead of stopping such participations within and as the mind, through me applying the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, to stop myself from participating within the act of smoking pot so as to stop behaving within self-interest alone and start behaving as what is best for all life through me remaining HERE stable within and as the BREATH as myself in self-honesty, where no pot is necessary for me to experience myself as who I truly am as the BREATH as LIFE as the PHYSICAL. I now see/understand/realise the mind polarity games that I accept and allow myself to participate within as the mind whenever I accept and allow myself to smoke pot, wherein the experiences coming from such act is never “mystical” or “special” or “more than who I am” for the experience of smoking pot is only an experience that exists within the confines of the mind and never is a true/honest representation of who I really am, for only thus reflecting on the disease as the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions while who I am as life as the physical, gets abused through such acts of selfish unawareness.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that smoking pot is not an act of “mystical properties” or of “connection with an higher self” as the effects of smoking pot is never the reflection of reaching a domain of higher spiritual awareness, such as the domain where I believed myself to participate within as the “connection with an higher self” when I allowed myself to smoke pot, but is rather an act of dishonesty through me accepting and allowing myself to reinforce the separation further between who I am as the physical as LIFE which requires NO REFLECTION/THOUGHTS/EMOTIONS, all of which being consequential outflows of smoking pot – and with who I am as EGO as the mind as that which divide who I am as life as all as one as equal, for the sole purpose of self-interest and the living of self-interested dreams/desires/needs which are only of the mind alone and not of LIFE as acts which are for LIFE are acts which are best for all life as one as all as equal, wherein the act of smoking pot only furthers the disempowerment of self towards the mind where no directive principle exists.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire smoking pot, because of the lingering thought/idea/emotion that such an experience would be beneficial for me, because of only thus seeing/perceiving the experience from within the starting point of self-interest as the desire to experience myself as being “more than” who I truly am – which is self-dishonest because of the fact that all experience of myself as through the energetic highs of taking drugs such as pot, will bring about the experience of myself as the energetic lows and through such, would only enslave me deeper within the depths of the polarity games of the mind through my own accepted and allowed participation within the mind as the highs and lows as the flux of the experience of myself as an energetic entity – instead of realising the common sense within the fact that who I really am is not of the mind, but is of the physical as the physical is life as it is common sense to realise that all of that which is one and equal with all living beings, is the physical as life – not the mind, which is rather the illusion of life as the thoughts/ideas/emotions/feelings which are all illusions that keeps us deluded and enslaved to the interpretations of the mind towards reality as the physical, rather than being equal and one with the physical as life, as what it should have been from the beginning.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to smoke pot” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to experience the highs of smoking pot”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring to be more than who I truly am as the physical, through the use of drugs such as pot/marijuana, thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
See these blogs:
And other Journey to Life blogs
And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com