I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the energies of the universe to my own advantage as self-interest, within the perspective that the practice of meditation would empower me to use the energies of the cosmos, wherein I believed that the amount of energy available in the universe was limitless and was my/our birthright, wherein each and every one who would want to use this available and limitless source of energy would be free to do so at the condition of “knowing” how to obtain that limitless source of energy, wherein I believed that my meditation practices was me “knowing” how to obtain/gain that energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push/force myself within my mind, through the generation/creation of friction within and as my mind as the consumption of physicality – as the movement from the negative, to the neutral and to the positive energies – as I was motivated by the belief that energy was my true self/identity and that my goal in life was to accumulate as much energy as possible so that I could become a “special being” which would be able to “guide others” to our “true identity” and thus our freedom – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that energy is not our true identity, as energy is finite and can never stand the test of time within eternity/infinity, but that our true identity is the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as life as that which stands the test of time into eternity/infinity as substance as life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise, from within the experiences of me having “high amounts of energy” within the perspective of me acquiring and gaining those high amounts of energy through meditative practices focussing solely on the act of acquiring/gaining as much energy as possible from the cosmos, that the method of acquiring those amounts of energy was always one and the same, meaning that the levels of high energy experienced was always the result/fruit of my constant and continuous friction with physicality as who I really am as life and not the result of me sucking energy from the cosmos as energy through my meditative practices – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was burning and burning and burning who I really was/am as physicality as life through me acquiring/building excessive amounts of energy, thus abusing myself as who I truly am as the physical, only so that I could experience myself as being “more than” who I really was/am as life which was a deception that I was deliberately participating in because of the “rewards” as “positive energy” that would be gained from such practices – all of which blinded me from the truth of myself as who I really was/am as physicality as all as one as equal as Life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to the common sense within and as me as the words of who I truly am as physicality which told me to STOP within the first experiences of me experiencing myself as having/generating/burning excessively high amounts of energy, from within which I believed myself as being/becoming a “purifier for existence”, within that the energy that I experienced within myself was so “extreme” that I started to believe that I was “special” and that the energy that was contained within and as my mind was able to “change the world” because of the perception of it being “pure” and thus, could “purify/change” the world, instead of realising that the only thing that this acquirement of high energy would do as consequence, was to further my enslavement within and as the mind as the mind consciousness system through the participation of the charging and discharging of positive energies within and as my mind and within and as this entire existence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to become a “special being” because of the desire/motivation/want to make myself “special” in the eyes of others, wherein I would develop meditative practices that would generate as much friction as possible within my mind in order to generate as much positive energy as possible so that I could, through the veil of the accumulated energy as positivity, manipulate people into thinking/believing that I was “special” and “illuminated” and that I could change/save the world for the better through me changing the energies all around me through my mere presence alone, from within which I perceived myself has being able to bring about a new world through the purification of the energies all around me, because of the “purity of energies” that I was able to canalise through my meditation sessions, as I then saw myself as being a “great purifier” which purpose was to purify the energies of the ether so that positivity could reign within this world.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the truth of me was being blinded by my desires of becoming a “great purifier”, whereas my desires of attaining/getting/gathering as much positive energy as possible blinded me from what was right HERE in front of me as the actual real identity of myself, which was simply as being equal and one with the physical as all as one as equal as life – but that my desires of being/becoming “someone more than what was obviously here as myself” blinded me from the actual real living of myself and isolated myself further within the polarity/games of the mind, from within which my enslavement to consciousness was blissfully made ignorant to my awareness because of my stubbornness to see myself as a “special being” which was “enlightened” and thus was “more than others” because of the beLIEf that I was fundamentally a being made of energy/light, which was a mindfuck that I forced myself to believe because of wanting/desiring to make me “more than” what I perceived myself as being such as this “small” physical body/being.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “positive energies” that was my inner experience of myself after having spent numerous amounts of time practicing meditation for the sole purpose of gaining/acquiring/charging as most energy as possible, was generated in all ways through the continuous friction between what I believed myself as being a being of energy, and what I truly was as equality and oneness as the physicality, wherein the charging/generation of positive energy came through the friction continuously exercised through the consumption of physicality/my physical body which resulted in the high amounts of positive energy that was experienced within the confines of my mind alone – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experiences of myself as having high amounts of energy, only came through the friction as the burning of substance as physicality, all of which would only result in me burning myself down over and over and over again, until my physical body could not endure it anymore, whereas I would then eventually experience myself as being “depressive” and “physically feeble” because of having burned enormous quantities of substance for the sole benefit of my mind’s self-interest to which I then believed as being my own – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “who I am” was the fabric of the mind as energy, instead of realising that “who I am” has and will always be HERE as the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as Eternal Life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind, within my meditative practices, to engulf the universe in order to “capture” as much energy as possible in order to “funnel” this energy towards and within my physical body, so that I could become a living example of a deity as the manifestation of a spiritual being coming from the high spheres of the spiritual hierarchies. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through me expressing myself within and as this “high energy accumulation”, that I was thus a living example of a deity instead of realising that who I was within and as the expression of myself as “high energy accumulation” was not the living example of a deity, but rather the living manifestation of a demonised entity as myself which only acted for the sole purpose of its self-interest as the experience of positivity as itself, instead of realising that the true living example of life is that of the physical expressing itself as the physical, without no participation within energy as positivity/neutrality/negativity as the mind, whereas the stopping of the energies as the mind comes through the practice of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that one can change from being enslaved to the systems of the mind as energy, to being freed as the expression of life which is equal and one as physicality as all as one as equal as Life = not energetically driven at all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume physicality through the projection of myself within and as the universe/cosmos/creation as that of funnelling/condensing/charging the energies of the cosmos towards and within my human physical body, because of the desire to be a god unto myself and this world so that I could create a new world which would be better than the world that I then experienced as myself – wherein I desired changing the state of the world through the powers of my mind/energies alone, because of the belief that my origin was that of energy and that through me realigning myself with the origin of myself as energy, that I would/could thus be able to “manipulate/change” the energies of the world so that the energies of the cosmos could change the state of the world through me for the better, whereas I then perceived myself as being a medium of higher cosmic energies/consciousness that would/could change the energies of the world so that a new and better world could be made manifest on this earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my origin as the core of my being was that of energy, because of having read the testimonies of a man who had a near death experience from within which it was revealed to him that we were made of energies, instead of realising the common sense in the fact that who I was/am as the origin of myself could/can only be equal and one with all living beings instead of being “unique” and “special” and “different” such as the state of my mind when within the “high conglomerate” of energies within and as my mind alone, and thus that the common sense origin of myself as all as one as equal can only be the physical as substance as Life, Equal and One with all living beings and not the mind as positive, neutral and negative energy experiences of the physical.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “low energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which I absolutely do not want to experience any more.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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