I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to my  “pt” because of the concern of protecting my own self-interest in not taking the “mn” that he “pd” to me, whereas the act of me acting upon my self-interest of not taking the “mn” is not a “bad” thing as it is me taking a stand for what I accept and allow myself to ingest/take within my human physical body whereas I am the authority of me in my world and the fact of me experiencing negative experiences while taking the “mn”, such as the feeling of drowsiness/comatose/sleepiness that overcomes me when I do take the “mn”, is enough for me to know that the substance that my  “pt” has “pd” to me in order to treat my condition, is not good for me – within which I have decided not to take the “mn” “pd” to me by my  “pt” because of those negative effects within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience negative energies within and as myself when I do take the “mn”, whereas I experience the feelings/sensations of drowsiness/sleepiness/comatose/zombie-like/confusion within myself because of the unconscious relationship as the chemical responses that my mind exercises through the intake of the “mn”, as my mind is still unconsciously manipulated by such substances so as to change the chemical responses within the activities of my brain, instead of stopping such unconscious reactions through me going into the depths of my mind constructs and stop those reactions through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to stop myself from reacting within the unconscious chemical reactions which generates those negative energetic experiences that operates whenever I do take the “mn”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to unconsciously/subconsciously react through and as the modified chemical responses within and as my brain whenever I do take the “mn”, whereas I believe/perceive myself as being powerless within the fact that I seemingly do not have control of the chemical responses/reactions that operates within my brain as I take the “mn”, since those responses/reactions operates within the depths of my unconscious/subconscious mind, instead of realising that I do have power and control over the chemical reactions/responses that occurs within and as my brain when I take the “mn”, because of being the creator of everything as myself, which includes the reactions/responses that are operated within and as all of the different layers of mind, such as the unconscious, subconscious and conscious mind, and that in order for me to change/stop the chemical reactions that operates within the depths of my unconscious and subconscious minds, that I have to work/look even deeper within myself as what I have unconsciously accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uneasy within myself when I answered the question that my “ne” asked me in orer to know if I did/do take my “mn”, whereas I felt uneasy/uncomfortable within myself because of me lying to the “ne” through me saying that I did/do take the “mn” while this was/is false – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself because of having lied to my “ne”, whereas I experienced a dichotomy as a friction within myself when I lied to my “ne” because of not being honest with the “ne” as myself and thus, experienced myself as being “dishonoured” because of allowing myself to lie to the “ne”, even if I knew that I had no other choice in the matter, as to tell the truth to my “ne” regarding the fact that I do not take the “mn” would only attract more problems for me to face with the “ml” corps/profession, as I have been issued a “ct” “or” to take my “mn” at the end of last year, whereas if I do not take the “mn” that I would have to face the dire consequence that they have reserved for me, which is to go back to the “hl” for treatment/containment, to which I do not want to happen to me. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of me lying to my “ne” is me taking a stand for myself through the statement that I do not need the “mn” in order to “heal” me, as I am absolutely confident in being able to “heal” me through my own personal application, such as through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, whereas the dependency to the “mn” to “heal me” is only a “crutch” that doesn’t in fact “change/heal” me, but only makes me “worse” within the fact that the “mn” creates a dependency to an outside source other than myself in order to “heal/save” me, wherein nothing outside of myself will/can save/heal me, as I am the only one who created this condition as being bipolar and that I alone can change/stop this condition within myself through me not accepting and/or allowing myself to participate within energies of the mind – no “mn” necessary/allowed as this would be me stating that I cannot change/stop me from participating within the energies of the mind, which is absolutely ludicrous as I am the creator of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and because of that, that I can create a new me which isn’t addicted to energy through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application and thus become a living example that proves to others as myself that one can change oneself without the aid of “mn” in order to become that which is best for all, as that which is best for all is best for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/spite/blame the “pt”, the “ne” and the “ml” corps/profession for trying/attempting to force myself to take my “mn” though coercion, as when I was at the “hl”, the “ne”s, guards and “pt” used physical force/abuse when they first attempted to give me the “mn” that I refused to take, whereas they physically attached me to a bed through abusing/forcing my physical body to be in a position where I would be powerless while they “id” within my body the “”ml”” substances that they obliged me to take even if without my consent. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge against the “pt”s, “ne”s and “”ml”” corps for having abused me when I was staying at the “hl” last year, where I was held within seclusion for days after days because of my refusal to take the “mn” that they wanted/were adamant for me to take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to detest the “hl” and the “ml” corps because of the bad experiences of abuse that I experienced when I was held “captive” within my stay at the “hl” last year, instead of realising that I am responsible for the bad experiences that I had at the “hl” through my simple acceptance and allowance of such a behaviour coming from the authority figures of this world, whereas I accept and allow myself to abuse and control those who are subservient to my power whenever I am placed in a powerful position, such as when I play games where I am winning, as I then accept and allow myself to treat others as being “less than me” in exactly the same way as what I was treated like when I was staying at the “hl”. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I do the exact same thing as those who had abused me when I was in the “hl” when I am placed in a powerful position with another, while I maybe do not use such physical abuse as I was the “victim” of when I was at the “hl”, but using abuse nonetheless within my expression/behaviour/non-verbal behaviour/attitude towards those who are not in a powerful position, such as those who are “losing” within games that I participate in with others – such as the mind games that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with others, wherein the price is the energy that one can steal/gain from another within mind games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being a victim of the “ml” corps, because of my obligation by “ct” “or” to take the “mn” that has been “pd” to me by my “pt”, instead of realising that I am the creator of that situation wherein because of my acceptances and allowances in me participating in games of winners and losers, that I thus automatically accept and allow such experiences as those of being seen as a “victim” of another’s will and that for me to stop myself from those acceptances and allowances within myself, that I have to apply the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so that to make sure that I do not accept and allow myself to participate within such games where I feed the system of abuse as the system of the world, and bring about a new system that stands for what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for LIFE, Equal and One with all living beings.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the game of power as the gain/loss of energy that I play with other human beings, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of power, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “feeling powerful or a victim” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of being a victim to another’s will/or, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of powerlessness, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com