I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated within the idea of killing myself because of not finding anything good for me in this world, whereas the fact that I have spent most of my life alone with myself has built within me and over time, the notion that I am not wanted in this world, and through this that I would be better off dead rather than to have to live alone and by myself in this world, instead of realising that the perception of being alone such as that which is interpreted by the mind as being separate from all and everything as life as the starting point of the desire to kill myself, is not who and what I am as who and what I am is always and in all ways equal to and one with the principle of oneness and equality as life as the physical and that from within the starting point of who I truly am as life, no desires of dying exists as what I truly am as life as the physical is forever fulfilled and can never die. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as the mind from the physical as life, and that through me accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from the physical as life, that I thus automatically invite such desires as that of killing myself because of becoming the principle of separation as the mind as that which perceive itself as being separate and finite, instead of remaining united within and as life as the physical wherein no desires of death is existent as the physical as life is infinite.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to kill myself because of not having any girlfriends to share my time with, whereas I sometimes nourish thoughts of killing myself because of having associated positive energetic experiences with the fact of being with a girlfriend, from within which I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the positive energetic experiences that I experience within myself when with a girlfriend is enough to remove all desires of killing myself as those desires have been spawned through the time where I have been without a girlfriend which is extended, and that through this extensive time spent alone with myself, that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the negative energies of the mind because of not having what I as the mind has associated with positive energetic experiences such as being with a girlfriend. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value being with a girlfriend as being above life, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to think about killing myself only because of not having a girlfriend, which proves to me that I have conditioned myself to value being with a girlfriend as being above the value I have given to life, simply because of my acceptance and allowance of the thought/desire of killing myself, instead of realising that the thought of me killing myself is actually me as life stating that I want to STOP participating in the mind as death through me killing/stopping my ego/mind possession so as to come back to who I am HERE as life as the physical as all as one as equal as life eternal where only the will to live exists.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as being inferior to a woman/female/girlfriend because of the “more than myself” value that I have given to the woman/female/girlfriend in this world, whereas the desire to touch and be with the body of a naked woman is perceived as being superior to the fact/act of touching and being with the body of a naked man such as what I am as myself – as I am always in touch with myself as my male physical body and that because of the perception that I have of the female physical body as that which I lack as my male physical body, that I have generated this desire of being/touching with a woman so as to possess what I lack as my male physical body, and that if this desire of possessing/touching a female’s naked physical body is not constantly fulfilled, that I am constantly lacking in what would make me experience myself as being fulfilled because of continuously and constantly living within the desires of the mind as separation – instead of realising that whenever I accept and allow myself to participate within the energies of the mind, such as the positive energies that I experience when with a female/woman’s physical body and the negative energies that I experience when I am not with a female/woman’s physical body, that I am constantly and continuously enslaving myself in the system of abuse as the energies of the mind rather than stopping myself from participating within such systems of abuse through BREATHING, self-investigating through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to kill myself because of not wanting to work for a living in this world, whereas the thought of having to work and thus be physically enslaved to the system is enough to make me desire erasing myself from this existence because of the fear that I have of actually having to face the system as myself through me exposing myself within the rules/games of the system instead of remaining blissfully hidden from the social obligations such as working and earning a living, instead of realising that I am equal and one responsible for the system and that it is through my active participation in the system towards the goal to change the system for a system which is best for all life, such as the system of Equal Money, that I will be and become a responsible human being in this world who acts in order to bring what is best for all life, as the current system of abuse in this world only stands for self-interests which can never stand for oneness and equality as life because of self-imposed self-separation from the rest of self as all as the universe as life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire killing myself because of the belief that it is better in the hereafter, whereas I have conditioned myself to be-LIE-ve that everything would be better in the afterlife from within the thought that because of me being a good person, that I would be granted a high position within the hereafter where I would experience unnameable spiritual freedom because of the belief that everything is better in the hereafter, instead of realising that this perception of the hereafter is only but a dream which has no foundation within reality as what is busy happening within this physical existence, and that the only way that such a vision of the hereafter can exist is through me changing my ways within and as this life, through me stopping my accepted and allowed participation within the mind so as to reveal myself as who I truly am as life as the physical and from there bring about a life which is best for all, Equal and One with all living beings, such as through the advent of the Equal Money System – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the dreams of a hereafter are a copout from the real LIFE responsibilities such as to change what we have accepted and allowed as humanity as the system of abuse which dishonours life, into a system that honours all life equally so that HEAVEN may become REAL in FACT.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within ideas of killing myself, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as the thoughts of killing myself, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy from within which the desires to kill myself originates – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as life as the physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “wanting to kill myself” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of being rejected by life, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of wanting to kill myself, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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