Today, I will do self-forgiveness statements regarding the cyst that I have talked about in my previous post here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated because of the fact that my cyst keeps on bleeding and that the doctors that I have seen so far, refuse to operate it for the moment because of having to wait for my scheduled appointment with the cyst specialist before the cyst to be operated upon.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of discomfort within and as myself as reactions towards my current situation with the pilonidal cyst, whereas the cyst keeps on spewing puss and blood and that I have to place a swab on it so as to control the spewing of blood and puss as best I can so that the blood and puss doesn’t spill to my underwear (being that the cyst is situated at the base of my coccyx) and pants, instead of remaining here within stability within the perspective that there is nothing else that I can do for the moment and that it is no use for me to constantly and continuously experience discomfort within and as myself as a constant preoccupation of my situation with the cyst as this is me participating within the worries of the mind instead of remaining HERE stable within and as myself as who I am here within the totality of my physical being and presence.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into the concerns and worries of the mind, such as me worrying constantly and continuously about my present predicament with the cyst whereas it keeps on bleeding and spewing puss without it showing signs of healing – which only fuels my worries and preoccupations within and as the mind because of the fact that the problem remains and doesn’t heal even after about two months of almost constant bleeding and spewing of puss – instead of realising that I have done all in my power to heal the open wound of the cyst and that there is nothing else that I can personally do in order to heal/correct the wound as I have reached the limits of what I can personally do in this circumstance and that the best that I can do for the moment, is to stop myself from constantly and continuously participate within the worries of the mind regarding this problem and stabilise myself HERE within and as who I truly am as presence as the physical body, so as to stop myself from reinforcing the enslavement of the mind as worries and concern, and remain here present within and as who I truly am as life as the physical – the problem will be fixed when I’ll have my scheduled appointment with the cyst specialist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated within the personality of waiting for my cyst to be removed by the cyst specialist, wherein I have been tempted to move most of my responsibilities/commitments into the future because of being currently too concerned and worried about my cyst to apply myself within stopping myself from participating within the mind, whereas there is almost no place left for me to “think/act” about something else, such as my current process of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, because of the overwhelming preoccupation/concern within the fact that my pilonidal cyst keeps on bleeding no matter what I do to stop it from bleeding, instead of realising that the personality of “waiting for the medical appointment with the cyst specialist” is of absolutely no use to me as I am thus only allowing myself to procrastinate because of the self-justification as the excuse of “utilising the bleeding cyst” as a reason for me to skip some of my responsibilities towards myself because of the desire to wait for the cyst problem to be fixed/healed before allowing myself to concentrate on the other issues/responsibilities in my life – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that as long as I can control the cyst from spewing too much blood or puss, that I can still participate within my responsibilities of writing myself to freedom through the use of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, exactly as how I have been doing for the past few months or ever since the problem with my cyst first started.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine the worst of scenarios concerning my bleeding cyst, within me thinking/believing that the cyst specialist won’t be able to fix the problem as all I have heard from the doctors so far regarding my cyst, is that they can do nothing about it for the moment whereas I have to wait for the cyst specialist in order to see/determine if I do in fact need a small operation in order to clean the wound and to finally close it so as for it to finally stop spewing blood and puss, instead of realising that as long as I have not yet met the cyst specialist, that there is no use for me to imagine the worst of scenarios as this is not assisting and supporting me within and as my process.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind as worrying and concerning myself for things which I cannot control, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as worrying and concerning myself for things which are out of my control, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the thusly generated friction and consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy and in fact make the situation worse – to which I am ultimately not of energy, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “worrying and concerning myself for things which I can’t control” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of worry and concern, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of worry and concern, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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