I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my friend’s behaviour while we were watching a baseball game in a stadium in Toronto, where I reacted to my friend’s behaviour of watching the pictures that he had taken through using his camera instead of watching the baseball game, where I used the excuse of projecting blame towards him because of the fact that he wasn’t paying attention to the baseball game wherein I wanted him to pay attention to the baseball game instead of paying attention to the pictures that he had taken through using his camera – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger/frustration within and as myself through me witnessing that he wasn’t paying attention to the baseball game that we paid to attend to, seemingly being more interested to watching the pictures that he had taken through his camera instead of giving attention to the baseball game that we had both paid money to attend within the context of our trip/vacation to Toronto.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to control the behaviour of my friend, whereas I wanted him to watch the baseball game instead of watching the pictures he had taken through the use of his camera, and that because I wasn’t able to control what my friend was doing, such as watching the pictures that he had taken instead of watching the baseball game, that I accepted and allowed myself to react within friction as blame/spite/judgments towards my friend for not abiding to my desires of him placing his full attention on the baseball game rather than placing his attention on the pictures he had taken – instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the reaction as frustration for my friend not placing his full attention on the baseball game, that I was thus being controlled by the emotions within and as my mind thus furthering my enslavement to the illusions of the mind instead of stopping such sterile participations within the mind, through the tool of BREATHING, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to return myself to HERE as who I really am, as that which remains stable within and as self-honesty as BREATH HERE as the physical as life. I now see/understand/realise that whenever I allow myself to participate within frustrations towards the behaviour that another as myself has within a given situation, that I thus accept and allow myself to be controlled by the systems of the mind, which makes me a puppet to energy wherein i thus remain enslaved to the mind rather than realising myself HERE as the unconditional expression of who I am as the physical as life, within remaining stable HERE within and as self-honesty as the unconditional expression of who I am HERE within and as the physical as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this “ball of energy” swell up within and as my throat area when I told my friend that “I didn’t care about his pictures” as a reply to him telling me that he was “deleting the pictures that he didn’t like within his camera” – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within blame/spite/judgments towards my friend’s remark when he told me that he was “deleting the pictures that he didn’t like within his camera”, because of the “feeling” of “frustration” that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in within my mind, as I was frustrated that he was looking at his pictures rather than looking at the baseball game – telling to myself as an excuse within my mind that he could do this in another moment than the moment we were sharing together as the moment we shared within the baseball stadium.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the reason why I was frustrated that my friend was looking at his pictures within his digital camera rather than looking at the baseball game was, within self-honesty, because of the insecurity that I experience within myself when someone near me plays with a camera, because of the feeling of insecurity that I experience towards the possibility that such a person may use the camera in order to take a photo of me – as I feel insecure about seeing myself in a picture because of the belief that I am too “ugly” to be seen in a picture – and that this feeling of insecurity generated frictions of blame/spite/judgments towards my friend because of the fact that i feared him taking a picture of me, and that I hid that fear from him and myself through me projecting blame/spite/judgments towards my friend for “playing with his camera rather than not playing with his camera” just so that I could continue “hiding” my fear of being taken a picture of, through me using the excuse of blaming/spiting/judging my friend as being “bad” for him not placing his attention on the baseball game rather than placing it on his camera – Within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not participate within the emotions of the mind, such as the emotion of being frustrated because of the fact that my friend was playing with his camera, wherein I accepted and allowed myself to participate within the illusions of the mind as the feelings of frustrations only because of the fact that I feared that my friend would eventually decide to take a picture of me, as the feeling of being uncomfortable within the moments when my friend was playing with his camera, built and built and built and accumulated and accumulated and accumulated frustration within and as me as spite/blame/judgments that I have towards the camera for not giving “good pictures of me” such as pictures that others as myself would eventually say “he is so beautiful/charming” – and that because such a reaction is so rarely the case towards me, that I have built a strong feeling of frustration towards and within the camera within itself, for not generating pictures of me that others would qualify as being “good/pretty/nice”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the frictions of the mind, such as the generation of the emotion of frustration, that built and built and built and accumulated and accumulated and accumulated and thus eventually exploded within the act of me saying to my friend, through a “loaded/charged” answer that “I didn’t CARE about his pictures or camera” while having this loaded/charged answer/remark/reaction being directed at my friend only because of the frustration that I have towards the fact that he was playing with his camera and through me interpreting that behaviour as meaning that he gave a lot of value to the camera and it’s pictures, which made me feel insecure about myself because of the idea/thought/belief that when I am placed within the format of a picture, that I am not perceived as being “valuable” by others as myself, as me as a picture of a camera has never received any form of desired accolade from others as myself, through others telling me that I am “pretty in a picture”, and that because of that, that I entertain within the silences of my mind, negative relationships/energy towards every camera or behaviour of someone playing with his camera because of feeling sad about myself not getting good accolades from others when I am seen within the format of a picture.

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within feelings of insecurity within myself when I am within the presence of a camera, because of the fear that I have of someone eventually taking a picture of me and the possibility of that someone as myself to react negatively to that picture of me while within my presence, because of me not wanting to hear negative things about my image as I am still insecure about the picture presentation of myself – instead of STOPPING all feelings of insecurity of myself as a picture presentation, through the tools of BREATHING, writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to CHANGE my reactions so as to become equal and one with the unconditional expression of myself HERE, wherein no reactions occurs as I remain STABLE within and as the BREATH within and as the physical as life as all as one as equal, whatever the reactions of another as myself may or may not have in regards to the picture presentation of myself here. Within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am is not limited to a picture presentation of myself, but that who I am is unlimited within the unconditional expression of myself as the physical as life as innocence as who I truly am HERE within and and self-honesty.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within emotions of frustrations towards a camera as fears of facing myself as the picture presentation of myself, instead of stopping my participation within fears through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to stop myself from participating within all fears so as to become the unconditional expression of myself here, and thus express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of fears such as the fear of seeing myself in a picture, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of fears, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “fearing looking at my picture/me” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “fears”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of fears, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com