I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear being honest towards my friend when he smoke pot in front of me while we were vacationing in the city of Niagara Falls, wherein I experienced turmoil’s within and as myself as I was witnessing the behaviour of my friend change from being friendly to being obnoxious within the effects of marijuana, as I became stressed within myself because of feeling emotionally affected by my friend’s behaviour as he was constantly and continuously nagging me and those who were around me so as to feed from the attention that we would give him in his childish behaviour – while I was experiencing emotional turmoil’s within myself because of feeling belittled by my friend’s nagging behaviour which brought me back to when I was a teenager, being teased and ridiculed by my classmates as I thus experienced the same feeling of being teased at as he exhibited behaviours which reminded me of being teased at, which only muzzled my attempts at trying to bring some sense into him as I was too overwhelmed by frustrated emotions to be able to find it within myself to stand up to his nagging behaviour and say STOP, i do not accept and allow this behaviour to continue in my presence any longer.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my friend to even smoke pot in my company, even as I was internally thorn within myself for allowing him to smoke pot in my company – as I clearly knew that it did not stand with what I am standing for as life, as the act of smoking pot only enhances the mind’s power and control over oneself, as it only feeds the delusion of the mind within generating feelings and emotions which are based on illusions – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand up to my friend’s habit of smoking pot in my company, through me taking a firm stand within his company through me telling him clearly and unabashedly that I am not standing for pot any longer, and that I won’t allow myself to be his “friend” if he is to continue smoking pot in my company, so that I can firmly state to him and to all of my friends who still smoke pot that I have changed and that I do not accept and allow myself to participate within patterns and behaviours which only furthers the enslavement of mankind towards the mind – so as to stop myself from participating with people who do not stand for life, as I have to make a clear and definite stand for life and to stop myself from participating within relationships which does not support life in all ways, even if that means that I have to definitely end some of those relationships.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the emotional turmoil that was generated through me being the focal point of my friend’s obnoxious behaviour as he was affected by the mesmerising effects of marijuana, wherein I re-lived within and as myself, the past experiences of me being teased at by my classmates as I was a teenager growing up in this world, when and as my “friend” became possessed by his mind’s delusional experiences which were generated through him smoking pot – wherein he became totally obnoxious and childish-like towards myself and the tourists who were enjoying themselves in the city of Niagara Falls – and that because of me re-living my past wherein I became catatonic in front of my friend’s obnoxious behaviour because of the emotional turmoil that he generated within and as me, that I didn’t allow myself to clearly express myself towards him and to thus tell him once and for all that I did not and would not accept or allow such behaviour within my company from now on and forever more, as I have stopped myself from participating within smoking pot for good, and that I now have to take a stand within my relationships so as to make it known that I won’t allow myself to participate within such behaviours coming from me or from any other person with whom I am related to, in any way whatsoever.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge myself up, out of the energetic turmoil as negative emotions that were generated as I was witnessing my friend become possessed by his experiences with smoking pot as we were vacationing in the city of Niagara Falls, instead of me stopping myself from participating within the emotional turmoil that emerged within me, through me simply replacing myself HERE within and as the simple application of BREATHING, or within the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application to, in the moment, clearly express myself to my “friend” without me being internally manipulated by emotion or frustration so as to clearly state, within stability as myself HERE, that I do not accept or allow such behaviour in my company any longer and that if such a behaviour is to continue, that I will end all relationship towards such a “friend” as it clearly is disrespectful towards life and myself and others as myself and that it doesn’t stand with who I am any longer, so as to stop myself from participating directly or indirectly to the act of smoking pot once and for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait for the “bursting point” before expressing to my friend that I do not stand for his behaviour any longer, wherein I have waited that the “waters boiled and boiled and boiled” before finally expressing myself towards my friend, within me telling him that I do not stand for such a behaviour any longer, and that if it is to continue, that I will stop all relationship with him as it is not a relationship that is worth having any longer – so that I stop all of my direct and indirect relationship with pot once and for all, so as to re-invent myself within the principle of oneness and equality as life wherein all behaviours which supports the mind are to be terminated once and for all, so that I may rebirth myself within and as the physical as life, wherein I will become the living example of what it is to be a responsible human being in this world, which acts within the interests of what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings, and to thus stop all behaviours which only have self-interests at heart.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as participating within boiled up emotions, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of polarity, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “re-experiencing past emotions” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “past emotional turmoil”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of “past emotional turmoil”, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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