I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect “more” from the application of self-forgiveness, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that self-forgiveness will help me get “more” out of my life within the belief that the application of self-forgiveness will give me a release from the points within myself which have acted as weights upon my shoulders, throughout the interpretation that self-forgiveness will make me “feel better” about myself within the fact that it will help me release myself from the “weights” as emotions which has acted as weights upon my shoulders from times immemorial – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect a “feeling” towards the application of self-forgiveness, wherein I have built the expectation that in order for me to recognise the effectiveness of the self-forgiveness statements, that the “feeling” of being “lighter” within and as myself will be experienced – instead of realising that a “feeling” as an experience of “lightness” within and as self is a product of the mind and is not to be trusted as a “tell-tell” sign acting as a testimony of the effectiveness of the application of self-forgiveness, as the application of self-forgiveness is not to be equated to a “feeling” of any sorts, but is to be equated to an application which allows oneself to peg the points within and as self that are in need of being changed, if not stopped within the participation of the point thereof, and that it is up to me to stop my participation within those points within the tools of breathing, the effective application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, in order to stop myself from participating within the habits of the mind, such as the addictions towards “feelings”, and start acting within the principle of oneness and equality as the physical as life, in order to be and become one and equal to all living being, as it should have been from the very beginning.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive that self-forgiveness is inneffective because of the impression that ever since I started with the process of the “7 years to life”, that I seem to have even more thoughts than I had in the past, whereas I frequently find myself thinking about stopping the mind and and where I think of myself as being “better than” others because of the “knowledge” that I have in relation to the process and that I seem to be generally more captive of the mind than I was in the past simply because of being more aware of the mind and it’s traps – instead of stopping myself from participating in the mind through me actually applying the tools of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to stop the continuous flow and onslaught of the mind in order to be and become the self-directive principle of me in my world so as to actually move me for the first time, as the physical body, and actually act within the best interest of all life instead of continuously acting for self-interest alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “lose faith” within the application of self-forgiveness because of the recent realisation that self-forgiveness alone is not going to change anything, and that in order for me to realise myself as all as one as equal as life HERE, that I have to equally apply myself within the self-corrective statements of the self-forgiveness application so as to stop myself from repeating the old habits that have brought me to be and become equal to what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the limits/illusion of the mind, and change myself so that I become equal and one with life as the physical, through the proper application of self-forgiveness in an equal relationship with self-corrective application, meaning that I have to apply myself within the application of the self-corrective application, as much as I have applied myself within the self-investigation through the application of self-forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive self-forgiveness as being just another failed application which doesn’t change “shit” in this world/in my behaviour, because of having fallen to the task of applying myself within the self-corrective statements so as to ensure myself that my self-forgiveness statements were and are effective – instead of only relying on the self-forgiveness statements to “change” me, without realising that in order to “change” me, that no amount of self-forgiveness statements in the world will amount to “shit” unless I DO SOMETHING about it, meaning that that something equates to me actually physically applying myself to CHANGE within the application of the self-corrective statements that follow the self-forgiveness statements within my application of the concept of self-forgiveness – and that in order for me to actually change myself from the limits I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the mind, that I have to actually physically change my patterned behaviours, without me ever going back into those behaviours, through the realisation that what I follow when I accept and allow those behaviours to become me, is only the enslavement of myself towards and as the mind, and that the real self which is the physical, thus remains and continues being abused by the parasitic illusionary self as the mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to become because of ignorance.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that my self-forgiveness application isn’t effective because of the fact that I have experienced “breakages” within the flux and flow of my self-forgiveness application recently, whereas I have recently experienced moments within my recent self-forgiveness application where the flow of words that came to mind as I was within the execution of my self-forgiveness statements, were regularly interrupted by “silences” and “loss of focus” and “confusion” as I had troubles finding words to express points which I wasn’t able to find within myself – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the only reason why I experienced difficulties within my application of self-forgiveness recently, especially within the problems that I have recently experienced within the flow of the execution of my self-forgiveness statements, was not because I had difficulties in finding the points which were busy being investigated through my self-forgiveness application, but it was only because of the fact that I recently didn’t ALLOW MYSELF TO BE INTIMATE WITH MYSELF, wherein I have come to perceive the practice of writing within my blog every day, as being a “chore” and that I no longer wanted to participate in it because I was recently brought to believe/perceive that I had more important things to do, even if those things were as vapid as watching t.v. or meditating – lol -, as I have recently been brought to participate within abusive behaviours through my allowances to be influenced by the “friends” within my life which are still continuing their participation within the mind – without no care whatsoever to what I bring to the table, within what I have shared with them regarding the process and desteni in general – instead of stopping all of my direct or indirect participations within the system of abuse in this world, through me actually stopping my relationships which are based of self-abuse, and or change those relationships in order that they become equal and one with what I stand for, such as stopping the mind and re-birthing myself to life from the physical.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the only reason why I wasn’t as effective in my self-forgiveness application recently, and the only reason why I had troubles finding a proper “flow” within the execution of my self-forgiveness writing application, was because I forgot to be self-intimate with myself, wherein I allowed my mind to swim and wallow within outside and vapid influences, rather than focussing on what I was actually doing HERE within and as the practice of self-investigation through writing, and the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to stop myself from participating within the mind and actually start living HERE as who I am as life as the physical, one and equal to all living beings.
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by those in my entourage who doesn’t participate within the desteni process, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to be influenced by those who are still controlled by the mind as energy, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the thusly generated friction and consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy and in fact make the situation worse – to which I am ultimately not of energy, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.
I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.
If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “thinking about vapid activities such as watching t.v. rather than applying myself in my process” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.
When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of laziness towards my application, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.
I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of laziness, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.
I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.
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