I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to base my self expression on how I feel because of the belief that I am who I am only when I feel high or good enough

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that who I am is what I feel because of the expanding feeling that I had in the past after I experienced my first manic episode

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to base my identity on the feeling of high because of believing that I am equal to who I truly am as the source of life only when I feel high within myself

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the high feeling is of the mind consciousness system and thus, to desire the high feeling is to desire the low feeling

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to perceive who I am as life as the feeling of high because of the extreme feeling that opened myself up to an extreme perception of unity with the universe while I was working on the project “code conscience” back in the year 2003

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the feeling of high that I experimented back in the year 2003 was not of life but of the mind consciousness system

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to continuously believe that my true self expression only comes when I am high enough because of the feeling of expansion as the expression of myself that I believed to be my true expression while I was within the high feeling that was generated by the mind consciousness system as I was working on the project to create a conscious computer program back in 2003

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to seek the same feeling of high that I had back in the year 2003 because of the sense of wonderment that I got while working on the “code conscience” project that led me to believe that who I really am is equal to that feeling of high

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I cannot express myself properly unless I feel high enough within myself because of the ease into which I express myself when I feel high

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel bad about myself when I am not feeling high enough because of the difficulties I have to express myself unconditionally when I am not supported by a high enough feeling from within me

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to value the high feeling as the true and greatest expression of myself because of the apparent liberating experiences that my first high feeling brought to me in the past while I was working on the project “code conscience”

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to live in the goal to relive my past so that I can feel the exact same feeling of high I experimented back then because of me not seeing any other thing worthy of living for in my present life

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that my current life is unworthy of living because I do not feel as good about myself as I did in the past