Today, I came upon a problem that I’ve been experiencing lately as I came within the application of myself through writing. The problem that I’ve been having corresponds to the resistances that recently come up whenever I place myself in front of the computer so as to write within my daily commitment to write daily in my blog.

 

So, in order to address this issue, I decided to write a list of all the reasons why I do not want to write, and then to apply self-forgiveness on each of those reasons.

 

Here is the list of all of the reasons why I do not want to write:

–          I want to watch t.v. instead of writing.

–          I want to read a book instead of writing.

–          I want to go outside and have a walk, instead of writing.

–          I want to call a friend instead of writing.

–          I want to browse the internet instead of writing.

–          I want to watch a movie instead of writing.

–          I want to read the contents of a website I regularly visit, instead of writing.

–          I want to sit and relax instead of writing.

–          I want to smoke pot instead of writing.

–          I want to play a video game instead of writing.

–          I want to do exercises instead of writing.

 

Self-forgiveness statements in relation to the previous list:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to watch television rather than applying myself in my writing application, whereas I have committed myself to write daily in my blog, so as to stop myself from participating within all aspects of the mind, which manifests themselves daily as I am still within the process of writing myself to freedom, which will take 7 years minimum before I’ll be able to stand equal and one with the physical as life – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to thoroughly apply myself within my writing application daily, within me committing myself to write daily in my blog so as to serve as an example to myself and others as myself, to what it means to apply oneself within the commitment made to change so as to act within the best interest of all life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to read a book instead of applying myself within my daily writing application, whereas I often think of reading while I am within the process of writing, because of the fact that my mind is looking for something other to do than writing because of “wanting to get over with it” rather than actually focussing myself into the task at hand so as to make my self-forgiveness statements effective.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of “wanting to get over with it” when I am within the process of writing in my blog, because of my mind diverting my attention away from the task at hand – which is writing – towards a task which doesn’t involve as much investment as the act of writing, because of the fact that the mind always looks/seeks for the easiest way out of a demanding situation, rather than directly facing what is HERE so as to change what is not in alignment with who we are as life, into that which is equal and one with the physical as life as who we truly are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/desire to go outside and have a walk when I am writing, instead of focussing my attention towards the task at hand so that my self-forgiveness statements are effective. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that me wanting to go outside and have a walk instead of writing when I am within the task of writing myself out, is a desire of the mind as the mind always seeks to get “pleasure” out of a specific situation and that if the mind doesn’t get the pleasure it seeks from within a given task, that it will wander around within the task of trying to find a better activity which would guarantee more pleasure than the activity at hand – and that such a desire is in no way in accordance with who and what I truly am as life as the physical, since it only seeks to further the enslavement of self towards the mind, through the feelings that the mind seeks to experience as itself through experiences that the mind sees/deems as being “better than” the experience of writing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to call a friend instead of applying myself to write, because of the still present desire to get something out of the experience of writing – such as an experience of a positively charged feeling/emotion – and that when I do not get what the mind seeks to get from the experience of writing, that the mind will automatically divert it’s attention towards some activity which guarantees self-gratification, such as spending time with a friend which more than likely will give out positive feelings, rather than the self-exploratory process of writing myself out to freedom throughout my daily blogs.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek/desire to browse the internet rather than sticking to the projected plan of writing myself out from within my daily writing application, whereas I sometimes stop within the application of writing and browse the contents of the internet for some “shock and awe” news so as to “lift myself up” from the feeling energy that I as the mind seeks, such as positive energy – instead of diligently applying myself within the task of writing without being diverted by the desires of the mind, such as the desires to get a specific energetic high, through me browsing the internet for some “shock and awe” news.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want/seek to watch a movie rather than diligently applying myself within the task of writing myself out to freedom, whereas I often think of watching a movie while within the act of writing myself out, because of the fact that the mind seeks to get instant gratification rather than complying with an application which doesn’t equate to “instant gratification” such as writing – instead of realising that the act of writing will be more helpful for me in the long run than the act of watching a simple movie, which only makes me more passive and gradually dissuades me in applying myself to change for what is best for all, whereas the application of writing myself out is me pushing myself to change in order to be equal and one with what is best for all life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the reaction of going to read the contents of a specific web site rather than continuously focussing on the task at hand, which is the task of writing myself out – thereby being constantly and continuously diverted within my attention making the task of writing even more difficult because of not being able to stabilise my attention to what is here within and as my writings, and divert my attention towards what is there within and as the preferences of the mind – instead of bringing myself back HERE within and as stability as myself as the physical, so as to stabilise my attention to the task at hand, which is writing, rather than giving the time of day to the desires of the mind which only seeks to further my enslavement towards the mind through the constant and continuous repetition of positive feelings which only enslaves me more to the system of abuse as the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to sit and relax rather than wilfully applying myself within the act of writing myself out, simply because of the fact that sitting and relaxing is a more passive behaviour than the active behaviour of writing myself out – whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become passive within the main character of myself as the mind, where I constantly and continuously seek passive activities rather than active activities to occupy my time with – instead of realising that in order to change, that I have to actively apply myself within an activity which demands my full participation, such as writing, rather than continuously continue my self-allowed enslavement to the mind as the “passive character” – and therefore taking a stand as the new statement of myself I want to express out into the world, such as the statement that I will no longer accept and allow myself to remain passive within my behaviour.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to smoke pot rather than applying myself within the task of writing, because of still being addicted to the positive feeling/energy that was generated when I smoked pot, and therefore still having the mind reflex pattern of me thinking about smoking pot while within the task of writing myself out, because of the fact that the mind constantly and continuously seeks pleasure giving experiences rather than experiences which doesn’t necessarily equate as “instant pleasure” such as writing, even if the act of writing offers greater support than any other self-rewarding activities such as smoking pot, since it allows oneself to investigate oneself in order to see for oneself what oneself has accepted and allowed oneself to be and become as the mind, so as to give oneself the power to change so as to become life within gradually changing within the principle of that which is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the thought of wanting to play a video game while I am in the process of writing myself out, because of me as the mind being always within the pursue of “instant gratifications” through the generation of “instant feelings” such as the feelings which are generated through friction when I do accept and allow myself to participate within playing a video game – instead of realising that playing video games doesn’t change anything within what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the mind, and only thus continue the enslavement of myself towards the mind instead of stopping my enslavement towards the mind through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to do some physical exercises rather than writing, because of the thought of me actually seeing the differences that such an action makes upon me – such as the fact that the muscles grow bigger through physical exercises, which can be instantly verified just after workout – whereas the act of writing myself out doesn’t show such obvious evidence of change because of the fact that the application of writing works within layers of the mind which are more difficult to be aware of – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that change doesn’t have to be instantaneously recognised in order for change to manifest itself within oneself, such as what happens when one is within the act of writing oneself out – and that such a change operates within deep layers of the mind so as to make sure that the original point which is at the starting point of one’s behaviour, changes and allows a new behaviour to take it’s place, such as the behaviour of becoming equal and one with and as life, equal and one with all living beings.