I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience reactions of stress when I was arrested by the police yesterday because of not having worn my seatbelt, whereas I became completely subservient to the authority figure as the policeman, because of knowing within my mind that I committed a fault in relation to societies rules whereas it is prescribed that any driver driving a car has to wear his seatbelt at all times when driving, and that if a driver doesn’t wear his seatbelt while driving, that he is thus subject to be arrested by any police officer who would notice such an infraction to the society’s laws – and that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within my mind, through me becoming possessed by my emotions and energetic reactions within myself as soon as I was within the moment where the police officer signalled his intention to arrest me by lighting up the revolving lights of his police car, whereas I then suddenly and unexpectedly became completely controlled by the energetic reactions within myself that was spawned out of the feeling of guilt that I experienced within myself for having infracted upon the rules of society which stipulates that a driver has to wear his seatbelt at all times while driving. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the feeling of guilt that emerged within me when I noticed that I was being arrested by the police because of not wearing my seatbelt, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to participate even further within that feeling of guilt when I was awaiting my sentence by the police officer as he was “doing his work” in his police car while I was waiting for his final judgment as I was sitting in my car – while I was, instead of actually stopping myself from participating within the emerging thoughts that were birthed out of the feeling of guilt that I experienced as I was being arrested by the policeman, still participating within the energetic reaction as stress that I experienced within myself instead of stopping my participation within stress through simply breathing, applying self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to “move on” and express myself here unconditionally without any movements controlling and directing me from within, and thus to stop myself from being controlled by the mind and start acting and behaving as the self-directive principle of me in my world, through returning to the physical HERE as stability.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the feeling/emotion of guilt when I became aware that my infraction of not wearing my seatbelt while I was driving, had been acknowledged by a passing police officer from within his police car, and that I have accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by the energetic reactions within myself that emerged instantly as soon as I became aware that the policeman saw my infraction, whereas I accepted and allowed myself to become so controlled by the energetic reactions as unsynchronised movements within and as myself, that I completely reverted back to a state of mind that was akin to that of a child being punished by his parents for having committed a fault, as I completely changed my expression within the time span where the policeman signalled its intention to arrest me and the time where I was relieved by the policeman, as I almost became completely paralysed within myself – as my heart beat, blood pressure and sweat considerably augmented – because of having accepted and allowed myself to place myself within the position of “the culprit character” whereas I accepted and allowed myself to shut all of my natural reflexes as natural communicative skills down because of being cognizant of the fact that I committed an infraction and that I thus forced myself to place myself within the “waiting position” instead of the “acting position” because of knowing that I would have to wait for the policeman’s final judgment before releasing myself from the accepted and allowed “hold” within and as myself – instead of stopping myself from participating within the energetic expressions of guilt within myself, through the simple act of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to bring myself back HERE within and as stability as the physical as life, one and equal with all living beings.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to effectively apply the breathing application while I was waiting for the sentence of my infraction to be made by the policeman, whereas I have applied the breathing application while I was waiting for my final judgment by the policeman, as I was waiting in my car for the return of the policeman who went back to his police car to verify the information that I had given him (my driver’s licence and my insurance certificate) – as I was applying the breathing application in order to stop the energetic reactions that were busy occurring within and as myself, as I breathed in between my stress reactions within the attempt to stabilise myself back into and as the physical, but that I wasn’t able to effectively apply because of still experiencing within myself, after the moments where I took my in-breaths and out-breaths, the original stress reactions that I was busy participating within, within my own mind, because of the desire of not wanting to face the consequences of my actions within the fact that I knew beforehand, that I risked getting arrested for the behaviour of me not wearing my seatbelt, but that I still accepted and allowed myself not to put my seatbelt on because of personal preferences which clouded my judgment. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise the consequences as the risk of getting arrested because of not wearing my seatbelt, and that within me realising the consequences that I was risking within the fact that I didn’t wore my seatbelt, that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop myself from participating within the idiosyncrasies of my preferences such as not wearing my seatbelt, and wore my seatbelt beforehand within the awareness of the negative consequences such as being arrested, that I was risking to get into for not wearing my seatbelt.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I have to abide to certain rules within society such as wearing my seatbelt at all times while driving, and that if I am not to abide to certain rules within society, that I thus automatically jeopardize myself within placing myself into positions which will be open to judgment by the authority figures in this world, which could have dire consequences for the continuity of my expression within the free world – and that if I am thusly arrested for having committed a fault within the legal structure of society, that I am thus entirely responsible for what I have brought unto myself out of neglect and that I should accept the consequences of such behaviour/actions because of having been completely aware of the fact that such actions could be reprimanded.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take full responsibility of the consequences such as being arrested which unfolded because of me not having worn my seatbelt, whereas the fact that I became stressed and completely overwhelmed by negative energetic reactions within myself which made me stutter towards the policeman, are enough proof enabling me to realise that I reacted this way only because I wasn’t within the stance of responsibility within and as myself, whereas if I would have been within the starting point of responsibility within myself, that I would not have reacted this way out of stress, but would have remained stable within myself within the fact that I would have been beforehand, completely cognizant of the consequences that I would risk getting into for not wearing my seatbelt, and as such, that I would have remained calm and composed when the policeman arrested me because of being within the starting point of responsibility within and as myself, being fully aware of the consequences that I risked getting into for not wearing my seatbelt = responsibility.
I will continue on this self-forgiveness application within my next blog.