I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear applying myself towards experiences and patterns of myself that I have defined as being “good”, because of the fear that I have of losing that which I have defined as being “good experiences” in my life, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without “the good experiences” or without that which I have defined as being “good for me”, that I will find myself in a state of constant sadness and/or depression because of the belief that I will thus only be defined and/or confined within the “bad” in me – instead of stopping myself from participating within the polarity manifestation of the mind, through the application of writing, so as to see what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a surrogate of the mind; breathing, so as to bring myself back here as who I am within and as each moment; self-forgiveness, so as to relieve myself from that which is keeping me locked within the mind through various states of emotions; self-honesty, so as to truly see in fact that which I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a product of the mind and self-corrective application, so as to bring about a new pattern that will honour life within the expression of myself as a physical being.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the pattern of thinking about past experiences that I have judged as being “good” whenever there is a time where I find myself living a moment of melancholy or nostalgia, whereas I find myself wallowing within my mind because of a “feeling” of “loss” of whatever form – instead of stopping such a patterned behaviour of “sinking-deeper-into-the-mind-in-the-hopes-of-finding-some-form-of-relief-through-past-experiences-in-relation-to-the-loss-that-have-just-been-experienced”, through the immediate application of, firstly, breathing so as to STOP myself from focussing my attention within the mind in search of “good-times-gone-by”, and re-focus my attention to who I am HERE as the physical as life, where no influences of the past should control or direct me; then writing so as to clear the mind from any wallowing thoughts that keeps me locked within myself in search of “good times gone by” in the hopes of finding something from my past that would give me a sense of “comfort” as a deceptive support coming from the mind’s perspective of the situation; self-forgiveness so as to forgive myself from the self-created habit that keeps me locked within the same self-abusive pattern of seeking help within the mind’s perspective of a situation, as a return to past experiences that I have judged as being “good” in order to attempt a balancing act between the moment of melancholy/nostalgia and the feeling of “goodness” within me; self-honesty so as to truly realise who I am within what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and self-corrective application so as to instil a new pattern within me where I would not allow myself to fall back within the same traps of the mind, such as the pattern of wallowing within the mind’s past in order to find “peace” within a moment of hardship, and re-align myself towards a new self that would not give the mind a precedence over who I am as life as the physical, as the true self-directive principle of who I am within this world.
I commit myself to, whenever I see myself move or about to move within the pattern of “seeking help from the past” whenever I find myself in a situation of hardship, immediately apply the simple tool/reaction of BREATHING so as to at the very least, stop myself from participating within the downward spiral whereas I suck my attention inwards in search of something from my past to “make me feel better” about a situation; through the realisation that I only thus empower the mind to have control over me, such as being emotionally unstable, and that there is no one other than me that can do anything to CHANGE the situation – that I am the sole director of my life and that whatever is happening to me within the confines of my mind, that I am the sole one who is responsible and that only I alone can change me.
To be continued tomorrow…
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