I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I do not feel anything special within myself as a point to consider writing about within self-forgiveness, that I have nothing to write about, that I have nothing to face within and as myself, instead of realising that as soon as I place myself HERE within and as the moment, that points naturally emerges within and as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become as the mind – such as the point that I am currently facing of thinking/believing/feeling that I have hit a wall within my daily self-forgiveness application because of having difficulties in recognizing what I am currently facing as a point within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider not writing today because of not feeling/sensing/perceiving a specific point to write about within my daily self-forgiveness application, instead of realising that the very act of thinking about not having a point to write about within my daily self-forgiveness application, is a point within and as myself as what I have accepted to be/become as the mind – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the very reason why I do not specifically think of a point to face/consider/write about is because of my accepted and allowed participation within laziness, where I have accepted and allowed myself to hide myself from myself-as-the-mind because of the want/need/desire that I have to perceive/believe myself as being accomplished instead of realising that I always have a new point to consider within and as myself within self-honesty – such as the current point of “hitting a wall” in my process.

I forgive myself that I haven`t accepted and allowed myself to see/understand/realise that the 7 years to life process is a process that is to be applied daily within what emerges as points within and as myself as the mind – and that as long as I have not yet completed the 7 years to life process, that I still have a lot of points to face/consider daily within writing myself to freedom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish the process to be over because of the difficulties i sometimes find myself in finding specific points to write about within my daily self-forgiveness application, whereas I sometimes wallow within my mind in order to find a specific point to write about, instead of realising that the very act of “wallowing within my mind to find points to consider” is a point within and as itself that is in need of attention and correction through the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not trust myself when comes the time to face a new point which seems ambiguous to me, such as the point of “hitting a wall” that I am currently facing within and as myself, instead of realising that the very ambiguosity that I experience is a point to consider within writing myself to freedom, through the application of the tools given by Desteni of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application which helps me build self-trust, self-intimacy and self-love which are the basic foundations upon which CHANGE will become REAL.

i forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to trust myself within the process of finding points to write about, wherein I would go and have a look at what other Destonians have written in their blog so as to give me external inspiration, instead of trusting whatever is occuring within and as myself internally, within a given moment, as points that are asking for self-correction through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness and self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the state of mind I am in within any given moment, is an ambiguous point which can be transformed into a specific point to consider writing about within the tools of writing myself to freedom through the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application – within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worship ambiguosity/vagueness as being the nature of me, wherein I would deliberately define my beingness as something which is ambigous and vague because of having associated myself within my past, as being the very essence of the present moment which can never be defined within an absolute definition because of the very nature of the present as being always CHANGING, within which a specific definition can never be true because of the fact that as soon as I define a moment to be as such, the next moment will bring about a new perspective/definition that will force myself to redefine the present – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that within the act of redefining the moment, from within the perspective of the present moment as never being alike the previous moment, exists new specific points to consider as the new and ever changing definition of the present.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously look at the number of words I express through the application of writing myself to freedom, so as to verify/judge if my application is good enough to be published because of having associated a good post as being a post which have at least 1000 words written in contrast to a bad post which is a post which has less than 1000 words written – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the polarities of the mind, as the game of writing a “good post” versus writing a “bad post”, where I would deliberately write “more” whenever I would write a post about a specific point that I am considering within a moment, in order that I would reach the definition of a “good post” even if I have nothing left to write about within a given moment of written application – within this, i forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am participating within the polarity games of the mind, such as the game of gaining positive energy through me attaining the self-defined definition of “being good” – such as writing a post which has at least 1000 words – versus the self-defined definition of “being bad” – such as writing a post which has less than 1000 words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the “number of words written game” when writing posts about my process or when writing about any other subject that I desire, because of having been imprinted/conditionned throughout my formative years – school years – to reach a specific number of words per document so as to make my documents valid as an accepted evaluation by my teachers, which is the act of writing in self-dishonesty because of wanting to write only to reach a specific number of words, rather than writing from the starting point of self-honesty through me writing about what is relevant to any given point/subject which is being faced and sticking to the relevancy of what is written alone, instead of writing only to fill the empty spaces with irrelevant words – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to “re-program” my impressions/conditionnings concerning the act of writing within itself, through the application of the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to REDEFINE who I am within the act/application of writing so that it becomes the unconditionnal expression of myself as myself, where the number of words written becomes irrelevant and where the expression of myself as self-honesty as what is relecant becomes the only relevant aspect to consider.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become an example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “hitting a wall” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that I always have a point to self-forgive myself about and that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of doubt as the thought of “I don’t know what to write about”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the doubt arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the doubt game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in doubt as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about doubting myself through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the fear of judgment and stop judgment within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

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I am tired of having this nagging feeling inside of me that makes me feel empty inside. I am tired of feeling depressed when I wake up in the morning. I am feeling blue, this springtime, of being in the phase of my life where my mother is not living with me any longer. I feel that my mother is the closest being that I hever new and even if I thought I had separated myself from her, by cutting the umbellical cord, so to speak, I still feel, from time to time – especially now in the springtime where life is beginning anew all around me – that I am still attached to her. However, I am tired of feeling sad and empty like this. Seems to me that the feeling originated when I was very young and that I still cling unto it to this day. As if the child in me wants everything to be back the way it was when my mother was taking care of me. I do not want to take care and support me all by myself. In my head, I would prefer killing myself than to have to support myself for the rest of my life being alone and lonely (what I am doing now is that I am letting out all of my currently felt feelings/thoughts/emotions so that I may practically apply self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-correcting applications once I will have empty myself of that nagging feeling which is pushing me down). Nowadays, I feel that my loneliness is a curse and that I can never experiment happiness since I do not want to participate in the world socially. I do not want to participate in the sorld socially because of the past experiences that I’ve had with the world, in that I am, more often than not, rejected for who I am. Either I am rejected for the way that I express myself, or that I am rejected for the image that I portray of myself within this world. I do not want to experiment that feeling any more but that feeling keeps on coming back to me every day when I awake. It is that feeling of emptiness and sadness that keeps me from being vigilent within myself and it pushes me to look down at my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is weight to emptiness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to concentrate in order to go deep within myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that concentration is separate from me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own uncomprehensions unto others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my insecurities unto others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to criticise the way others are expressing their self-forgiveness sentences while I am, in fact, criticising myself for my perceived difficulties in expressing myself in a clear and efficient manner.

Another problem that I have is that I tend to find it difficult to go deep within myself in order to pinpoint the cause of my self-created sufferings. I am tired of being lazy about what I should do in order to free myself and stop the mind from making me lazy about my own process more often than not. I want to be more dilligent in my application but I always stop myself from going deep with the excuse that I am unable to find the specific words and sentences to express what I am living from within. I know what is to be done, by the examples given at the desteni forum and all of the desteni related documents, but I tend to not participate as much as I should in the self-forgivness process by re-utilising the same excuse that I am not well versed enough, in french or in english, to participate in the process in a more effective fashion. I mean, I seldom have the words that I would like to use in my writings in order to pinpoint a feeling that I may be experimenting at a particular moment. Oftentimes, the words come to me after I have completed the sentence that I would be elaborating at a particular moment, and when that word comes, I have lost the flow of the sentence I was into which discourages me in working out that nagging feeling within me which only feeds my mind consciousness system further.

I want it to stop. I want to be able to come up with the correct sentence construction so that I may feel that what I say actually relates to what I experiment and feel.

Now, at the current moment of writing this sentence, I do not feel as I did when I started this entry – where I expressed my feeling of emptiness and loneliness – but I feel as if I opened myself up to myself, which makes me feel better. What needs to be done now, is for me to effectly use the specefic points of destructuve mind consciousness reccurent self-denial habits just mentionned in self-corrective self-forgiveness applications in writings and out loud in order to become aware of the specific deep structures of mind which keeps suppressing me in favor of mind consciousness programs that I have accepted and allowed within myself as a definition of myself. I am not my mind consciousness system and all of it’s different subversive systems. I am not to be supressed any longer by my past experiences which has fed my mind consciousness system so to keep a false definition of who I am based on experiences of polarities which has fed my mind consciousness system’s definition of who I am based on lies about what I truly am.

Self-forgiveness applications:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of “not wanting to participate in the process any more” because I think that I did all that needed to be done in order to free myself from my mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I do not need to continue on with the self-forgiveness part of the current process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always have to justify myself in my self-forgiveness applications.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in justifications as a way to liberate myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I know how to liberate myself based on past experiences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on past experiences of myself and of others interactions with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on what others perceive myself to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself based on what others see me has being based on the image that I carry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself based on the image that I carry.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I carry an image.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I carry an image that needs to be defended from other images out there.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am an image.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my expression based on the image that the mirror projects of me at a particular moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my self expression because of believing that I can only accurately express myself when I project a positive image of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prefer being silent within my own mind and therefore creating this situation of having difficulties in expressing myself to myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I do not have the tools necessary to express myself in a self-liberative purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not well versed enough to participate in self-forgiveness application sentences effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others who are participating in the forum at desteni.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others thus generating that uncertainty within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others thus limiting my self expression at specific situations when I feel impressed by some one else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel impressed by a picture representation of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value the picture representation of the mind more than what I value of my self as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to participate in conversation with others because of a desire I have of being left alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by past experience of rejection therefore justifing my belief that to be alone is what life wants me to be

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life is apart from me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life wants me to be alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have projected the belief of being alone unto life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare the choice of words another makes to the choice of words I make when expressing myself.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to base my self expression on how I feel because of the belief that I am who I am only when I feel high or good enough.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that who I am is what I feel because of the expanding feeling that I had in the past after I experienced my first manic episode

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to base my identity on the feeling of high because of believing that I am equal to who I truly am as the source of life only when I feel high within myself

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the high feeling is of the mind consciousness system and thus, to desire the high feeling is to desire the low feeling

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to perceive who I am as life as the feeling of high because of the extreme feeling that opened myself up to an extreme perception of unity with the universe while I was working on the project “code conscience” back in the year 2003

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that the feeling of high that I experimented back in the year 2003 was not of life but of the mind consciousness system

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to continuously believe that my true self expression only comes when I am high enough because of the feeling of expansion as the expression of myself that I believed to be my true expression while I was within the high feeling that was generated by the mind consciousness system as I was working on the project to create a conscious computer program back in 2003

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to seek the same feeling of high that I had back in the year 2003 because of the sense of wonderment that I got while working on the “code conscience” project that led me to believe that who I really am is equal to that feeling of high.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I cannot express myself properly unless I feel high enough within myself because of the ease into which I express myself when I feel high

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel bad about myself when I am not feeling high enough because of the difficulties I have to express myself unconditionally when I am not supported by a high enough feeling from within me.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to value the high feeling as the true and greatest expression of myself because of the apparent liberating experiences that my first high feeling brought to me in the past while I was working on the project “code conscience”.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to live in the goal to relive my past so that I can feel the exact same feeling of high I experimented back then because of me not seeing any other thing worthy of living for in my present life

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that my current life is unworthy of living because I do not feel as good about myself as I did in the past

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “feeling depressed” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of guilt of ‘I must be depressed’, I stop, breathe, see if I have missed an opportunity to self correct into Oneness and Equality from which the guilt arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the guilt and self correct, if not I stop, self forgive my participation in guilt as an automated response to a pattern of self Abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “feeling depressed” and from judging myself and others as ‘being depressed’, through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of Illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every Living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com