I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have generated the belief, throughout my childhood years, that I could become a being such as “Superman”, because of having idolised the “Superman” character from the movies, from within which I have actually brought myself to believe that, within the saying of “everything is possible”, that it was/is possible to become a being such as “Superman” and that one could “fly in the sky” and have “inhumane force” if one could chose to be so, because after all, like the saying said : “Everything is possible”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the extent of actually believing that I could eventually “fly in the sky”, have “inhumane force” and be a superhero such as the character of “Superman”, because of actually believing the saying that said “everything is possible”, wherein I have imagined the possibility of becoming “Superman” within my secret mind, whereas I have constantly and continuously built the “Superman entity/character/persona” within the secrets of my mind, wherein I have stored and generated tremendous amounts of energy within the relationships of “hoping to become superman” and the “positive affirmations” within my own mind, from within which I have generated the “Superman Entity” within and as the secrets of my mind, and where I have actually come to express and embody within my first “psychosis” back in 2003, where I believed that I did in fact became “Superman” – but not within the universal picture of the Superman character, but rather within the principle of what the “Superman” character stood for – and that I allowed myself to delve deep within the delusions of the mind because of having attained a level of mental energy that made me believe that I was a “special being” such as what “superman” is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of positive energy, such as the feeling of an overwhelming sense of grandeur whenever I hear the “Superman theme song” or whenever I see an excerpt of a past superman movie or a future superman movie, wherein I sense the energy swell up inside me to the extent/point where I become so overwhelmed by the “positive energy/feeling” that I completely lose focus of where I am within and as the given moment, and become entirely possessed by the “energetic entity” that is birthed from the relationship that I have built with the character of “superman”, whereas I start imagining myself flying in the sky, running faster than a “speeding bullet” and/or, just to simply visualise myself within the company of superman whereas I become emotionally unstable – instead of remaining HERE stable within and as my human physical body through the tools of BREATHING in order to interrupt my participation within the energy that is generated through the mind games that I participate in while relating myself to the “superman” character, so as to stop myself from feeding the delusions of the mind through my participation within the “superman” character, and return to who I truly am HERE within and as the physical as life, so as to eventually birth myself from the physical as life and to stop myself from entertaining the games of the mind which only entraps myself further into and as the illusions of the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of negative energy within and as myself, such as the feeling of longing, depression and sadness whenever I do not participate within the “superman” character within and as my mind, whereas the high energy that is associated with the superman character cannot be made present within and as my own mind, from within which the “thought of being more than who I am” is not made manifest, but where the thought of “being less than who I want to be” such as who I truly am within and as the physical, is made manifest through the “routine” that I have defined as being “boring” in comparison to the “routine” that could be if I were to be “superman”. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me defining my “routine” as being “boring”, that I have thus invited the negative energy to overpower me within and as the moments where my habitual “routine” is made manifest, whereas I constantly and continuously feed the sadness, depression and longing for something “more” because of not being able to “find something to like” about my habitual “routine” – instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the preferences of the mind, such as the likes and dislikes, that I thus allow myself to be enslaved by the games of the mind as polarity manifestations, which ultimately controls the sense of who I am within and as the emotions that my likes and dislikes generates within and as me, whereas I become the slave to my emotions rather than stopping my enslavement all together, through the application of BREATHING in order to stop the movements as energy within my own mind, self-forgiveness to peg the patterns that are continuing my enslavement towards my mind, self-honesty to actually see who and what I am within my own mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and self-corrective application in order to stop participating within the patterns of enslavement that I have pegged within self-forgiveness – so that I can ultimately change myself in order to act towards what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get emotionally involved towards the prospect of the new superman movie that is to come out in June of 2013, whereas I have allowed myself to participate within an emotional uproar after having seen the firsts videos and music from the upcoming movie over the internet, where I actually experienced myself within an emotional high such as the feeling of an overwhelming joy because of the inner satisfaction that I have experienced within myself as I was watching those videos and images of the superman movie to come in June of 2013 – instead of stopping myself from participating within the emotional reactions within myself, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within emotions as energy as the mind, that I thus accept and allow myself to be governed and determined by the mind, which only enslaves me within a system of abuse which abuses physicality as life through the consumption of physicality for the own sustenance of energy as the mind as illusion, which is finite, rather than aligning myself towards the physical as life as all as one as equal, so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, so as to be and become that which I should have been from the beginning, which is LIFE itself as the physical as all as one as equal, so as to change the system of abuse of the world and bring about a system which honours life, one and equal with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am and was equal to what I have defined as being the “Superman” principle, through the realisation that if I cannot become equal to the superman character, that I could at least become equal to the “Superman principle”, which I have defined as being the principle of being a “leader” which leads through the example that is brought through the relationship that the leader has with “high energy”, wherein I have perceived myself as being this “leader” through the accumulation and expulsion/manifestation of “high energy” through the constant accumulation of energy through meditative practices and through the feeding of the idea of eventually becoming equal to “superman” – instead of stopping myself from feeding this “superman principle” through the simple tools of Breathing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so as to completely stop myself from participating within the delusions of the mind, and return to where I am HERE as the self-honest expression of who I am as life, which is equal and one with all of physicality, equal and one with all living beings.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within the mind’s emotions in relation to the “superman” character, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the characters of the mind, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “desiring to be/become superman” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “the superman character”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of “what it is to be superman”, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Right now as I am writing, I am currently feeling a bit depressed for a reason that seems to be unknown to me. I have thus decided to write about what I currently feel/experience within myself as this slight feeling/sensation of depression in order to try and figure out where that feeling stems from, from within myself. Although I am currently unaware of the starting point of this feeling of being slightly depressed, I sense that the simple act of writing such as I am busy doing at the moment, will lead me to the starting point as the root of my slight feeling/sensation of depression.

 

So, let’s say that this feeling originates from within the contrast that I experienced today between the activity that I did with a friend of mine this afternoon, within which I played “ball” in a field near my house, and that the feeling has originated with the contrast that I experienced within myself between the state of activity I was in when I was playing “ball” and the state of activity I am currently in, as the state of being relatively inactive, within the perspective that I am currently not dispensing as much energy as I was while playing “ball” this afternoon with my friend. Thus, as I am currently looking at the cause/origin of that slight feeling of depression, I could affirm that it has been generated through what I just described as the possible/plausible cause for that feeling/sensation of slight depression, such as the experienced contrast between the two states of activities that I experienced within my day.

 

Within self-trust, I thus realise that the explanation that I have just exposed concerning the plausible origins of my slight feeling/sensation of depression is in fact true – as it is the spontaneous assessment of my current situation that I did within the act of “self-investigation” through writing myself out. Thus, within this current self-investigation of myself, I have just realised that the origin of my slight feeling/sensation of depression in fact originated from the contrast that I experienced within myself between the two experiences of me being physically active within the activity of me playing “ball” with my friend, and the other side of that contrast as me experiencing myself within the relatively inactive physical expression of myself that I currently am expressing myself as.

 

The fact that I dispensed a lot of adrenalized energy while I was playing “ball” with my friend, has burned – I suppose – a lot of physicality as the chemicals in my brain which is responsible for one’s state of mind as happiness, such as the through the generations of neurotransmitters of dopamine and serotonin. Thus, the current experience of myself may be the effect of the cause of me having burned those neurotransmitters as I was playing “ball” with my friend – and the contrast experienced between the state of mind I was in as I was playing “ball” and the state of mind I am currently in as I am experiencing myself as “writing through typing on the keyboard”.

 

So, in retrospect, I could say that my current state of mind such as feeling slightly depressive is connected to the differences of mental and body activities that exist between the two states of acting.

 

Thus, I will do self-forgiveness statements regarding what I have just unearthed through the self-investigation that I just expressed through me writing myself out of what I have experienced as myself today, as the two polar opposites of states of mind activity that I have gone through as the day went by.

 

Self-forgiveness on feeling depressive:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience depression within and as myself, because of having burned a lot of energy while I was playing “ball” with my friend, which has generated the contrast as the origin of myself feeling depressive in the moment because of not existing within and as adrenaline within and as my current state of mind – Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on adrenaline in order to determine the state of mind I am in within a particular moment of expression, instead of realising that such a dependency towards states of the mind as the amount of adrenaline that my mind can produce, is enforcing the enslavement of who I am as the expression of myself here as the physical, towards and within the modulating states of the mind such as the different states of adrenaline that the mind produces within and as a specific moment of physical activity, and that through me accepting and allowing myself to be defined/determined by the levels of adrenaline that is to be found within and as my brain within a given moment, is me stating that I am enslaved by the mind because of the feeling/sensations of myself as being depressive whenever I do not participate within the build-up and accumulation of adrenaline through the expression of myself within physically demanding activities, such as playing “ball”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself when I was playing “ball” with my friend this afternoon, because of the generation of adrenaline that was busy being produced by my brain when I was playing ball, and that because of the dependency of my sense of self being determined by the amount of adrenaline produced by my brain, that I have automatically experienced myself as being depressive within the moments which followed my physical activities of playing ball with my friend, whereas I have experienced myself as being depressive when the amount of adrenaline within my brain begun to deplete within and as the relative physical inactivity that I experienced within myself when I came back to my home, whereas I sat and watched tv/browsed the internet while the levels of adrenaline in my brain went down so as to reach an equilibrium within the chemicals that my brain produces. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me generating good feelings within and as myself as I was playing ball, from within which I felt fulfilled within and as the fact that I was being physically active rather than being physically inactive, that I would thus immediately experience myself as feeling bad when I would be physically inactive because of having unconsciously related the fact of being physically active as being “good” towards the fact of being inactive as being “bad” – instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within good feelings, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within bad feelings, because none comes without the other as this is the foundation upon which the games of the mind as polarity is constructed upon = one cannot come without the other, and that as soon as I accept and allow myself to participate within the “good feelings” that I generate within and as the relationship with a given physical activity, that I automatically will generate “negative feelings” when the relationship to the “good feelings” as physical activity, will be removed from the equation.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the adrenaline that I experienced within and as my brain when I was playing ball with my friend, was and is an addiction of the mind as a drug that the mind/brain produces in order to make sure that I remain enslaved to the mind as the purveyor of my desires, instead of stopping such addictions and enslavement as the dependency towards the drug as adrenaline as the giver of the “good feelings” that is produced whenever I participate within demanding physical activities, and to return to myself HERE as the self-directive principle of me in my world, wherein I accept and allow no mind addictions as chemical reactions to control/direct me, through me stopping such addiction through the tools of BREATHING, self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to release myself from all of dependencies of the mind and to return HERE as who I am as the physical as life, one and equal to all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed within and as myself when the levels of adrenaline begun to shrink in relation to the levels of adrenaline that was busy being produced when I was playing ball with my friend, wherein I experienced myself as being depressive within the perspective of suddenly stopping my intense physical activity and returning to a “calm” state whereas I as the brain wasn’t producing adrenaline any longer – instead of realising that through my expression being dependant on the levels of adrenaline within my brain, that I am thus only furthering the enslavement of myself towards the system of the mind, instead of stopping all participation within the products of the mind/brain through the tools of self-investigation through writing in order to see the origins of me as the mind, and through the application of self-forgiveness in order to release myself from the programming of the mind, self-honesty in order to directly see what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and through the tools of self-corrective application in order for me to correct my behaviour in order that it may come to reflect what is best for all life within the principle of Oneness and Equality, rather than continuing within the disease of reflecting only my self-interests as ego as that which separates itself from life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad/depressed when I was back home, wherein I participated within less intensive physical activities, such as watching television or browsing the internet, because of having unconsciously related intense physical activities such as playing ball with my friend, as being “good for me”, while unconsciously relating non intense physical activities such as being home while watching tv or browsing the internet, as being “bad for me” – instead of realising the accepted and allowed participation within polarity as games of the mind as enslavement, and stopping such enslavement towards the mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a character in this world, through the simple tools of BREATHING, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so as to stop all participations within separation as the mind and to return to oneness and equality as who I truly am as life HERE as the physical, one and equal with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate good feelings with “being physically active” and bad feelings with “being physically inactive”, whereas I experience feelings of happiness within and as myself when I participate within physical activities, and where I experience feelings of unhappiness when I am not participating within physical activities – because of having been conditioned by my parents and teachers to see physical activities as being “good for me” thus generating good feelings when active, while at the same time saying that to be physically inactive is “bad for me” thus generating bad feelings when inactive, instead of realising the enslavement of myself towards and within such experiences of myself where I become directed by the mind through self-interest alone, rather than being and becoming the self-directive principle of me in my world, through the usage of common sense wherein I as the physical as life determines what actions that is in need to be done so as to bring about a world that is best for all life, rather than continuing with the system of abuse as the enslavement of the mind which only acts for the self-interests of the individual alone without considering what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the accumulation of positive energy through being physically active, and the release of negative energy through being physically inactive, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of polarity, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “generating adrenaline within and as my body because of being physically active” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of an “adrenaline junkie”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of goodness when I am physically active and badness when I am not physically active, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Yesterday, I went and had a midnight walk in a field next to a house I lived in when I was 25 years old, which was the year where I experienced my first experience of manic energy, from within which I developed the condition of bipolarity as a defined mental illness.

 

As I was walking down the field, memories and surges of feeling energies came rushing back into my mind whereas I remembered within the rushing movements that was busy occurring within my mind, all of my significant experiences that I lived/experienced when I had the habit of going into that field when I was 25 years old. In my mind, there was this rush of many different emotions and feelings and thoughts that all came back to my conscious awareness from within which I could experience almost to the exact feelings, every significant moments that I had ever lived when going to that field in my past. I remembered almost all of the dialogues that I had with myself when I went to that “special place” that I had defined as being my “fortress of solitude” such as the name that was given to the place of resourcing for the fictional character of “superman”.

 

There were many significant experiences from within which I had built the belief of being a being of light/energy that came back to my awareness, and I could actually feel the same feelings of being overwhelmed with positive energy that I had the habit of reinforcing when I went to that specific location for meditation purposes in my past. I remembered all the times that I spent alone in that “special” location, where I used to talk to the trees, plants, stars and the universe wherein I believed myself as being a messenger from the “central sun” – such as the “central sun” that was defined in a “light worker” book that I read at the time, where it was suggested that the center of the galaxy as the “central sun” would eventually directly change life on earth through a “beam of light” that would impact earth so as to change life into a life that was worth living for – and that my purpose in life was to “inform all of humanity” of the “messages of light” that were coming from the center of the galaxy.

 

Needless to say that I was deeply fucking with myself within the beliefs that I was enforcing within myself for the purpose of complying with my desires to be “more than” what I saw myself as being, which was this tiny human being in face of the immensity of the universe. Thus, without proper wisdom and common sense, I delved deeply into the belief that I was a being of light and that my purpose in life was to prepare others through me being a messenger of the central sun, as was explained within some of the “light worker” books that I was reading at the time. The extent to which I fucked with myself became obvious through the “mental condition” that I developed through that desire of being equal to that of a being of light/high energy, which eventually brought me to develop the condition of bipolarity, such as I have explained in my previous posts.

 

Self-forgiveness on being a “light worker”:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being a being of light/energy, because of having been influenced by a testimony that I read when I was 25 years old about the near death experiences that a man had where he described his experience as being within the realms of light/energy wherein he was brought to realise that everything was made of light/energy and that his/our purpose was to create as much light/energy as possible so that the universe would be fed by light/energy throughout existence, instead of realising the absolute separation towards physicality as life within such a testimony, whereas it was only the realm of the finite mind as illusion that was being experienced by the man and not the real and infinite realm of physicality as life – and that from within this testimony, that I have completely fucked myself up into the belief that our origins as beings were that of being made of light/energy, that has generated such experiences of manic energy within and as myself because of wanting/desiring to comply to that belief through me accumulating as much positive energy as possible so as to “give” that energy to the universe as statements of who and what I am so as to fulfill the “life’s goal” of giving as much energy/light as possible to the universe that I was brought to believe was the goal of all living things within this world.

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop myself from participating within the accumulation of positive energy as the mind ever since that experience of me reading the testimony that the man made about his near death experience, because of the belief that my goal was to accumulate as much positive energy as possible so as to be able to make the universe even more of and as “light/energy”, instead of realising that all throughout that time where I accumulated positive energy as the mind, that I was only furthering the enslavement of myself to consciousness whereas I have created such conditions as being/becoming bipolar, wherein the energy that I experienced within and as myself as the total accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind became so extensive that I actually became one and equal to the “god consciousness” wherein I believed and perceived myself as being equal and one to the “god consciousness” because of the “never before experimented amount of positive energy” that I eventually experienced within and as myself as the mind, while under the delusion of building as much as positive energy as possible so as to comply to the “life’s goal” that I believed was the most fundamental goal of all living beings through the reading of the man’s testimony, so as to make the universe expand within and as what it essentially was, which I believed it to be of light/energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the accumulation/gaining of as much positive energy as possible ever since the time where I read the man’s near death testimony, wherein I would deliberately participate within sessions of meditation which were designed to build as much positive energy as possible so as to become a being of light/energy as such was what I believed myself as essentially being through the reading of the man’s near death experience, instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to build as much positive energy as possible, that I was thus only suppressing more and more the negative energies within and as my physical body and that I was thus only furthering the system of polarity as the enslavement of the physical towards and within the confines of the limited mind, rather than stopping myself from participating within the polarity games of the mind through the tools of BREATHING, self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to become one and equal to what I truly essentially always was and am, which was/is the manifestation of life eternal HERE within and as the physical body as all as one as equal as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the delusion of being a being of light/energy, have created a “special bond/relationship” towards a field that was/is located next to the house where I lived at, at the time where I read the man’s near death’s testimony, whereas I have defined that location/spot as being “my fortress of solitude” wherein I saw myself as being like “superman” and that that “special location” was the place where I would go to resource myself within the accumulation/gaining of positive energy as the nature which surrounded me, much like the “fortress of solitude” of the fictional character of “superman” – instead of realising that all I was busy doing within the times where I went to that “special place” as the field which was located next to the house where I lived at at the time, was to accumulate/build emotional relationships/ties towards that specific place and the environmental elements that were/is within that place, such as the trees that I then perceived as being beings of light within which existed a mystical wisdom that was being shared with me when I went to that specific location for meditation/resourcing of myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that all I was busy doing while I went to that specific location/spot, was to reinforce my emotional bond/relationship/ties to that physical location, whereas the mere thought of that place has generated feelings of longing/nostalgia because of the emotional/energy experiences that I experienced while I went to that specific place, which only enslaved me further within the systems of the mind, such as the emotions/feelings connected to that area, instead of stopping myself from participating within such games of the mind as the emotions of longing and nostalgia through the use of BREATHING, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to completely stop myself from participating within the mind as illusions and bring myself back HERE as who I truly am as life as the physical, all as one as equal as all living beings, so that I can really become an example to all of what it is to be a responsible human being who behaves in ways which are best for all life, such as me sorting myself out through the DIP program and to support organisations such as the Equal Money System in order to bring about a world which is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was a messenger from the “central sun” wherein my purpose in life was to inform all of humanity of the impending change that would eventually happen on earth, through the “messages” that I believed were coming from the “central sun” through my influences generated through the reading of a “light worker” book from within which it was explained that the “central sun” would eventually send a beam of light towards earth so as to change life in order to bring about a new dimension of earth, such as allowing earth to ascend to another dimension – from within which I perceived myself as being a being of light which purpose was to prepare humanityas a messenger for the change that was to come, and also to prepare myself to go into the higher dimensions where the new earth would manifest itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate overwhelming feelings of positive energy when I went to the “special field” that was next to my house when I was 25 years old, wherein I would spend enormous amounts of time meditating and spelling out mantras so as to align myself to the high frequencies of light, such as the frequencies of light I imagined as being the frequencies from within which operated the beings of light I was busy reading about from within my books and websites which revolved specifically around such beings – instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within such meditative practices which had the purpose of building and building and building and accumulating and accumulating and accumulating enormous amounts of positive energies, would only further my enslavement to the disease of the mind, as I was thus simultaneously building and building and building and accumulating and accumulating and accumulating enormous amounts of negative energies within and as my subconscious mind – in order to balance out all of the positive energies that I was busy accumulating within my consciousness – which eventually manifested within deep experiences of depression where I thought of killing myself because of the overwhelming amout of negative energy that eventually made itself aware within and as my consciousness. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the accumulation of positive energy, that I was instantaneously accepting and allowing myself to participate within the accumulation of negative energy because of the common sense equation that one doesn’t come without the other, as it is the foundation of the polarity games of the mind, which only enslaved me further within the disease of the mind as separation – instead of stopping my participation within such a disease as the polarity games of the mind, through me simply BREATHING so as to return to who I am HERE within and as self-honesty as the breath as life, equal and one with who I truly am as the physical as life HERE, instead of running away from who I am HERE within the delusion of meditation and spiritual practices which only reinforces the delusion of being equal and one with the mind as our absolute identity, while our absolute identity is simply who we are HERE as the physical as all as one as equal, within the principle of oneness and equality as life.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the accumulation of positive energy through meditations, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of polarity, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “sensing energy swell up within me” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of a light/energy being, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of light/positive energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

 

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear living without energy because of the addiction that i have within and towards energy, whereas I constantly and continuously seek energy as a positive experience of myself because of being addicted to the experience sof me swelling up inside of me through the accumulation of positive energy, where I become gradually possessed by my own desires as self-interest to the extent where I close my eyes to what is actually happening within my environment as the physical because of being caught within my personal experience/desires of positive energy within and as my mind – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experience of me when within the accumulation of positive energy is only the experience of me as the mind of energy, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and that whatever I experience within and as energy as the mind is always an illusion for the simple reason that the energy is dependent on outside influences because of being finite, rather than realising that who i truly am remains forever HERE as stability and infinity within and as the physical as life as the truth of me, and that when I am caught within the experiences of myself as positive energy, that I stop through the application of BREATHING and the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I stop all participation within energy as the mind and realise myself as LIFE as the physical as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the games of “energy exchanges” when I am participating within whatever activities with the company of a friend, such as my accepted and allowed participation within gossiping and blame and judgments that I participate in whenever I am with a friend because of the habit that I have created of participating within such activities when within the relationship with another, instead of realising that the games that I play when with the company of others as friends of mine, are games that doesn’t stand for oneness and equality as they are a statement of separation as the perceived differences in the mind, whereas I am and become completely unstable because of being manipulated and governed/directed by the energies within and as my mind – instead of stopping such participations through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to build self-trust and self-will so that to CHANGE what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as a system of abuse, and become equal to the system of life which is the system of oneness and equality between all living beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to build a habit of participating within games of energies when I am with the company of others, such as friends, wherein i have conditioned myself into behaving in ways where I allow myself to generate situations of “laughter” so as to build the positive energies within and as myself and another as myself, instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of gaining positive energies, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within negative energies within and as myself because of the equal and one relationship between positive energy and negative energy, whereas as I experience positive energy within and as myself, I automatically invite negative energy within and as myself within another moment of self-expression – which are specifically the moments where I experience the “other side” of the conditions that I have generated within and as my mind in order to experience/exchange positive energy, such as when I am alone with myself rather than being with the company of another, wherein I experience the negative discharge of energy when the condition of the manifestation of the positive energy within me is not present anymore = such as when I am alone with myself I tend to experience the “other side” of the positive energy that I experience when I am with the company of another. Within this, i forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the exchange of positive energies when I am with another, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within the exchange of negative energies when I am not with another, such as when I am alone with myself and that through this, that I accept and allow myself to be possessed by thoughts of negativity such as thoughts of “killing myself” because of not having built self-love and self-trust when within the company of myself alone. I now see/understand/realise that for me to stop myself from participating within negative thoughts that comes from / are birthed from the experience of myself as the mind as negative energy, that I have to stop myself from participating within positive thoughts that comes from/are birthed from the experience of myself as positive energy, wherein I become possessed and delude myself into thinking/believing that everything is fine with the world, whereas this is far from the truth as the system of abuse as the system of the world is based on such desires of “gaining more positive energy”/”gaining more money” at all cost, where life gets left to rot only because of the selfish desires of humanity to always gain more and more and more positive energy/money at the expense of life/god/the physical, and that for me to come back to my senses and be HERE as equal and one with the physical, that I have to stop myself from participating within the games of energy as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “charge myself up” through the practices of meditation techniques from within which the purpose of the practices is to gain as much positive energy as possible, for the soul purpose of satisfying the desires of my self-interests – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my desires as self-interests, whereas I only seek to satisfy my self-interests of becoming as happy as I can be through the accumulation of positive energy, while i accept and allow this world to be destroyed through the greed/abuse of self-interests as the system of mankind, only because of my personal and separate desires to have my own personal heaven as separation from all and everything, rather than realising that through me separating myself from all and everything within the self-interested purpose of constructing/gaining my own little heaven, that I am actually separating myself from who I truly am as life as the physical as all as one as equal and that I will eventually face the dire consequences of that self-separation at death – instead of stopping such self-interested behaviours through the investigation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as abuser of life, so that I may come to see the constructs within and as my mind so that, from within the starting point of self-awareness, that I stop all of my participation within the system of abuse as the system of self-interest only, and become equal to the interest of all as one as equal as life as the physical, so that we/I can CHANGE what we/I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as humanity and become the living examples of what we truly are as life which acts for the best interests of all living beings as equals and one.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting myself to another human being without first being energised within and as my mind consciousness system, because of the fear of not having the energy to be able to “find the words to communicate with” when with the company of another, because of having conditioned myself to “perform better within my conversations with others as myself” when I am under the influence of a positively charged accumulation of energy, wherein the “words to communicate with” comes easier/faster when I am positively charged with energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear communicating with another human being, such as communicating with a sales clerk, when i am not firstly charged with and as energy because of the fear that I have of others seeing/thinking that I am strange for “talking too slow” because of the fact that the words within my mind doesn’t come as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the energy as the mind when within the act of communicating with another, wherein the words comes more easily when I am firstly charged with positive energy in contrast of the words not coming as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I don’t need the accumulation of positive energy to be able to talk with another human being as myself, within the perspective of having words come easily within and as my being, and that if the words are still directed/governed by the presence or lack of the presence of the accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind, that I am thus still directed by the mind as energy and that for me to stop myself from participating within such a limitation within and as my expression of myself, that I have to firstly STOP myself from participating within the accumulation of positive energy within and as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free my expression from the conditions that I programmed into my being such as the need to generate/accumulate positive energy within and as my mind before talking to another as myself, and thus allowing myself to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that i need energy in order to be able to express myself to others, wherein I have programmed myself into acquiring/manipulating the energies within and as my mind so as to accumulate as much as positive energy as possible before allowing myself to communicate with another being as myself, because of the accepted and allowed belief as condition that I have placed within and as my expression, that in order for me to be able to be listened to, that I have to express myself with as much as energy as possible so that the people to whom I am expressing myself to, doesn’t get distracted by other things around them so as to keep them “locked into me” for the purpose of them satisfying my self-interest of being listened to/being given attention to, rather than them placing their attention on other things than my expression as my desire to be listened to. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to control/manipulate others as myself through the usage/expression of myself as “high energy” so that I may be given attention to within the belief/perception that people around me are as addicted as me to energy and that because of expressing myself within the starting point of high energy, that I thus automatically attract and maintain the attention of others around me – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the act of manipulating others around me through me projecting myself as the “reserve of high energy” as the mind, that I thus automatically enslave myself and others as myself within and as the system of abuse as the system of gaining/attracting as much energy as possible without considering the consequences towards life as the physical because of only being controlled/directed by self-interest alone, instead of stopping such participation within self-interest through the tools of self-investigation that comes from writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free myself from the programming of the mind and so that I can script myself as my new behaviour within the starting point of acting within the interest of what is best for all life, Equal and one with all living beings of this world.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the game of competing for “positive energy” as the mind, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of competition, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “seeking to accumulate as much positive energy as possible before communicating with another human being” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of seeking to project myself as having high energy to others, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of high/positive energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Today, I have been awarded with the “present” of being able to join the DIP program for one year for free, which I consider as being a gift that has been sent out to me by the cool folks at Desteni for having proven that I am committed with walking my process breath by breath, moment by moment and day by day – as I am now in my 42nd day of committing myself to daily writing through the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

Now, as I have been granted to join with the DIP program, I have consequently been granted to start with the first lessons of the program, wherein I have to gradually move up within the program, step by step to make sure that I am well acquainted with the Desteni material and that I am able to self-direct me within my own world through the self-empowering/liberating tools given by Desteni (writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application). The reaction that came up within myself however, was a reaction of “oh no, I don’t want to go and read all of the Desteni material again” because of having already read all of the articles posted on the Desteni main web site – desteni.org. This reaction came up within me after I realised that, after logging in to my DIP account page for the first time, I would have to read the lengthy documents that are suggested to read for the purpose of the DIP program. I reacted this way because, like I said earlier, I have already read almost if not all of the articles made by Sunette and the dimensions from the Desteni.org web page and that I believed that because of that fact, that I could be able to bypass some of the firsts lessons because of already being well acquainted with the Desteni material.

Now obviously, this reaction is calling for self-forgiveness which I will do shortly, but I just want to clarify that after having exchanged emails with my DIP buddy, that I have realised that it is in my best interest to read what has been laid out before me in the DIP program even if it means that I’ll have to probably re-read some of the articles that I have already read in the past. It’s been a while since I read those articles, and a good review is never a bad thing since I my perspective regarding Desteni have greatly changed since I first read the articles back in the year 2008. So, I’m sure that the exercise in reading all of the documents that will be sent out to me in the course of my DIP participation, will be worth my while, since it will allow me to attune my perspective towards the Desteni material so that I may stand clear within and as the depths of myself regarding what I have committed myself to, which is the 7 to 14 years process of self-purification in order that I may script myself into what is best for all life, as what is best for all life is best for myself. For more information regarding this process, see here.

Self-forgiveness on the reactions that came up – having to start over:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within spite as myself when I became aware that I would have to start over with the lectures of the Desteni material, wherein I was discouraged at the notion that I would probably have to re-read some of the documents that I have already read in the past concerning the Desteni material, which meant that I would have to give more time for the lectures of the material wherein I wasn’t “happy”/”pleased” about that fact because of considering myself as being “above” the act of having to read the introduction material to Desteni. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within myself in a way that I silently compared myself within the silences of my mind as backchat, to that of feelings of being “happy”, wherein I have automatically/mechanically compared the idea of having to probably re-read the Desteni material again as being a “negative energetic reaction”, to the idea/perception of not having to re-read the Desteni material again as being a “positive energetic reaction”, because of the notion/belief that because of me having already read most if not all of the Desteni material, that this empowers me to skip some lessons in order to get into the lessons which are relevant to my current understanding of the Desteni material – instead of realising that it is not about my current understanding of the Desteni material, wherein I perceived myself as already knowing a lot of/about Desteni and it’s message since having read most if not all of the articles found within the Desteni web page (desteni.org), but that it is about me standing within humility within the act of restarting within myself, so as to clear all points of uncertainty/misconception regarding the Desteni material, so as to stand clear within and as the process as myself so as to never look back again and be clear on all of the reasons why it is of the utmost importance for me to participate within the 7 years to life process, so that I may stop the mind/consciousness/energetic reactions within myself so that I may be able to birth life from the physical, so as to CHANGE what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become as humanity as the abuse/misuse of life/physicality, and bring about what is best for all life, Equal and One with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being “above” the act of having to “start from the beginning” regarding the Desteni material, because of the notion/CONception that the “knowledge and information” that I already had/have regarding the Desteni material, was/is enough for me to go directly into subjects which are at deeper levels of application within the DIP program, wherein I perceived myself as “knowledge and information” as the mind only and that from within that perspective, that I used justification/spite/blame towards my position as being “above” the position of a newcomer – instead of realising that I was actually accepting and allowing myself to participate within the polarity of the mind, as superiority and inferiority as the projected image of myself that I had of being “above” a newcomer only because of the “knowledge and information” that I had regarding the Desteni material. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that “knowledge and information alone” is useless, and that unless knowledge and information is used for practical application within the practical living of myself HERE within and as this world, that the “knowledge and information” from within the perspective of “knowledge and information alone” is completely useless – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use “knowledge and information” as benchmark for the consideration of my position concerning the Desteni material, whereas I used within my mind, spite and justification in order to justify my own self-righteousness within the notion that “knowledge and information alone” was enough to make me go directly to later stages of the DIP program, not seeing myself as being Equal and One with all participants within the DIP program, but seeing me as being “different”/”special” than those who are newcomer to the Desteni material – only because of the fact that I already had the “knowledge and information” concerning the Desteni material. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive/project me as being “different” than those who are newcomer to the Desteni material, because of the mind’s interpretation that “knowledge and information alone” in regards to the Desteni material was/is enough to make me “different”/”special” than any other newcomer of the Desteni material, not seeing/understanding or realising that “knowledge and information alone” doesn’t make me better than anyone in this world, as knowledge and information alone doesn’t change shit in this world, and that as long as I perceive and believe knowledge and information to be benchmark of my status in this world, that I am entrapping myself within the games of the mind as useless garble instead of releasing myself from such mind possessions, and become equal and one with the physical as life as all as one as Equal – wherein I am equal and one within my starting point within the DIP program, wherein I am one and equal with any newcomer to the Desteni material as I have yet to have proven myself as being worthy of Life through the 7-14 years to life process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to the idea of having to read the introduction material to the Desteni principle from within my DIP application, whereas I experienced deception within and as myself after having first realised that I would have to read the introduction material to the Desteni principle/message over again, as I have already read most if not all of the Desteni material from the Desteni web page (desteni.org), instead of realising that the act of reading the Desteni material again, presents itself as being an opportunity for me to correct/remove unconscious/subconscious beliefs systems that are still present within and as my mind, through the reading of the Desteni introduction material, wherein the act of reading the Desteni material again would grant me new perspectives towards what I/we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as self/humanity and that from there, take a stand so as to no more accept and allow myself to be directed by illusionary beliefs systems as the mind, and to bring myself back HERE within and as the physical as the BREATH through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deceived by the idea that I would have to re-read the Desteni material again, not realising that the deception was/is not in the act of having to re-read the Desteni material again, but that the deception was/is within the thought of myself as the thought of “not having to read the material again” as that thought is/was me deceiving myself into believing/thinking that I was “above” the act of “reading the desteni material again”, wherein it would not be necessary for me to read the Desteni material again, because of the deception that “knowledge and information” played within my mind as the self-proclaimed/self-justified god in my mind, wherein I would from within the stance of knowledge and information, claim that I already “know it all” and that because of that, that it wasn’t necessary for me to read the Desteni material again – instead of realising that the simple fact that I reacted to this information, whether slightly or greatly, proves without the shadow of a doubt that I am not “above it all” as I am still enslaved by the reactions of the mind and thus, cannot yet be trusted by life as that which is the only authoritative god in this world/existence.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was spiteful towards the newcomers to the Desteni material, as proven by my reaction of negative friction towards the fact that I would have to “get down to the levels of a newcomer” in regards to the Desteni material found within the DIP course, and relinquish my self-proclaimed/self-justified position as a “know it all” concerning the Desteni material, while the actual truth of me as self-application clearly shows that knowledge and information is useless unless it is used for practical application, wherein the “knowledge and information” regarding the Desteni material doesn’t amount to anything unless it is used for REAL actual practical application, such as the application of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, and that as long as I do not practically put into use the knowledge and information found within the Desteni material, as was the case when I first read the Desteni material, that the Desteni material is useless. I know see/realise/understand the opportunity that is presenting itself to me within the act of reviewing all of the Desteni material within the newly acquired perspective of practical application, whereas I am only now ready/decided to put all of the practical information found within the Desteni material to use, which wasn’t yet the case when I first read the Desteni material. Thus, the new perspective that I know have regarding the importance of actually applying the knowledge and information found within the Desteni material, gives me a fresh and new outlook on the material, giving depths of perspective that wasn’t present within myself as I first ran through the document a few years ago.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity as the projection of myself as inferiority/superiority, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as inferiority/superiority, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “deception of starting anew” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of deception as the reaction of friction experimented when realising that I have to start anew, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of deception, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Today, I have been given the permission to join the DIP program because of my commitment/constance towards my application of the 7 years to life process, which is really cool. I was thus given the opportunity to join the DIP program with sponsorship, so that I could perfect myself into becoming one and equal as life as the physical, through the 7 years to life process, as an assistance towards my application and the effectiveness of my application towards and within myself.

So, as I was given permission to join the DIP program, I was thusly given the permission to have a personnal account within the DIP web page/system. However, after having received the confirmation that my account was operational after having followed all the steps for my inscription (giving my e-mail address and generating a password for me to log into my DIP account web page), I was rebuffed by the system wherein I received the message “you have been banned” after having attempted to log into my DIP account.

This message has generated feelings of friction within and as my stomach area, as a global/general/unspecific feeling which made me remember experiences of rejection as I was growing up in this world. So, in face of this point which ressurfaced, it was my duty to self-investigate that reaction within the specificities that that reaction generated within and as my mind.

Self-forgiveness on the feeling of rejection:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was banned from the DIP program because of the message that I got after connecting to my account, which informed me that I was banned for a general reason of having not followed the terms of use, within which I believed that I had been banned because of my precarious past with Desteni, whereas I have used abuse and spite towards members of Desteni because of having been possessed by energetic entities from within which I was brought to interpret the Desteni message as being a menace to my well being as an energetic entity, instead of realising that that energetic entity was a mind possession which had a finite existence that I didn’t want to let go of because of my addictions to energies as the mind, instead of realising that who i am is not an energetic entity, but is equal and one with the physical as life as that which is equal to all living beings – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give this “energetic entity” time of day, where i accepted and allowed myself to express myself as the words coming from this energetic entity within myself, from within which I perceived myself as being a being of light wherein I dismissed the Desteni message because of my desire to keep my energetic possession as the “high energy entity” alive and through the perception that the Desteni message was threatening my mind’s illusion as being a being of light – I now see/understand/realise that the energetic entity that expresses itself whenever the accumulation of positive energy becomes overwhelming, is and was a mind possession that wasn’t/isn’t real as it is/was only a construct of the mind as the desires of the mind as energy to experience it’s reward as positive energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this energetic reaction within myself after having been aware of having been banned for a general reason of not having followed the terms of use, wherein I felt a slight friction within my stomach area informing me through the interpretations of the mind that I was rejected from joining the DIP program because of the belief that the administrators had received the order to ban me because of my precarious past with Desteni and it’s members, instead of realising that this reaction as the fear of being rejected was only the interpretation of my mind towards the message of being banned, from within which emerged within the depths of my mind, past reactions as the slight friction feeling within my stomach area, from where I had been rejected as I was growing up in this world – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to change from within the perspective of not accepting and allowing myself to experience that feeling of energetic friction within and as my stomach area, because of the realisation that who I am as life is not the product of energy, as energy as myself is a diminishment of who I truly am as life as the physical which is always eternally here as myself, equal and one with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had been rejected by my classmates as I was growing up in this world, wherein I have adopted the behavioural stance as someone who is “less than another” when I was within the same area as those who used to use derivative names towards me, and thus to still continue behaving within such a stance to this day, whenever I see/perceive someone or something expressing words which reminds me of those experiences as being rejected when I was growing up in this world, such as the words that I read today where it was written as I attempted to access my DIP account web page, as the words “you have been banned”, which furthermore was written in red as a colour which I have associated with things which are “bad”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a “bad” feeling within and as my stomach area, after having read the word “you have been banned” which were furthermore in red letters such as the effect of the negative impression of those words, were elevated within the fact that the colour they were printed on was red, instead of realising that those words which I read today, as the words “you have been banned” and which were furthermore printed in the colour red, were innocent and acted only as pointers that there was something wrong with the system that I was trying to log into, and that the problem wasn’t created because of me and my past as that of having been rejected, but that the problem was simply a problem that concerned the program as the system I was trying to log into – which had nothing to do with me personally, such as the manifestation of the “bad feeling within and as my stomach area” made me believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words “you have been banned” within the effect of me experiencing feelings of “slight friction” within and as my stomach area, whereas the friction was generated through blame/spite/justification towards those as myself – which was made evident by the fact that the “bad feelings within and as my stomach area” was felt by my physical body/me as an energetic/illusionary reaction towards the association between what I have read today and what I have experienced as I was growing up in this world as the experience of being rejected – that I have accused of being the cause of the feeling of inferiority that I experienced when I was within the presence of bullies as I was growing up in this world – instead of realising that they were not the cause/reason/justification for the feelings that I harboured within and as myself as the feelings of being rejected, such as the experience of myself as being “inferior” to those who used derivative names towards me, but that it was me as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, such as being “inferior to those whom I perceived as being superior to me”, that was the cause of such feelings/emotions/reactions and that it is my responsibility to STOP what I have accepted and allowed myself to become through my experiences growing up in this world. Within this, I now see/realise/understand that it is only me that can change what I experience within and as myself when reacting to outside influences – that the outside is not the cause of whatever I accept and allow myself to experience within and as myself, but that it is me and me alone who is responsible for whatever is happening as reactions to outside stimuli within and as myself, and that it is only ME that can STOP myself from participating within such reactions of “inFEARiority” through the application of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty in order for me to release myself from those energetic charges and become clear so that I can stand HERE with and as my physical body, with no reactions whatsoever to what is being directed at me from others around me – and that it is up to me as clarity/stability to be the self-directive principle of me in my world, not my reactions/emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still hold unto the past as the experiences of myself as being rejected, through me still to this day, exercising friction through blame/spite/justifications towards those that have expressed themselves as being the authority of me as I was growing up in this world, whereas I was enslaved by my feelings of “inFEARiority” whenever I was within the company of those who used to bully me as I was growing up in this world, because of my accepted and allowed participation within the polarity of the mind as superiority and inFEARriority, as I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being “inFEARior” to those who bullied me as I was growing up in this world, and that I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being “superior” within other instances such as when I was playing games where I was known to have success as I was a teenager growing up in this world – instead of realising that the reason why I experimented those feelings of inferiority when faced with the bullies as I was a teenager in this world, was because I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as “superiority” within other instances/moments as I was growing up in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have blamed LIFE in and of itself as that which I perceived the entirety of the universe as being as I was growing up in this world, whereas I was blaming LIFE as that which was “superior” to me because of the perceived notion that LIFE was separate from me and was the author of me as my creator, wherein I blamed LIFE as the entirety of existence within and as the backchat/secret mind for having given me the physical attributes which were the subject of the ridicule/rejection that I experienced with those who bullied me as I was a teenager growing up in this world – instead of realising that LIFE as something which was/is separate from me was/is an illusion that persist/persisted as long as I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was this “mind entity” as personality that I perceived/believed myself as being through my interactions with those who educated me in this world, such as my parents, teachers and those who projected themselves as the authority figures in my world. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am the only authority of me in my world, whereas I as the physical as the self-directive principle of me in my world as that which is with me all of the time, is the only TRUE/REAL authority of me in my world, as I am the one who is with me all of the time, and that whoever claims to be the authority of me in my world, is only being authorised as an authority of me because of my accepted and allowed participation within the personalities/energetic entities of the mind, and that in order for me to regain full authority of myself as LIFE, that I have to STOP such participations within and as the personalities as the mind, through the use of self-investigation through writing and through the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so that I may see myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and that from there, stop myself from participating within and as the mind so that I may return to the physical as who I truly am as life, One and Equal to all living beings.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of inferiority is a feeling that is generated through the FEAR of expressing myself for who and what I am, and that as long as I will generate that feeling through the friction/conflict that I hold onto towards the world and existence for the predicament that I am in within and as my life, that I will keep on experimenting myself as being “inferior” to the another or the outside world because of me still holding onto the feelings of inferiority and superiority within and as my mind. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of inFEARiority is existent within and as my mind as long as I keep participating within the feeling of SOUPeriority, as the “soup” that I drink in order to make me feel “more than” who I am as the physical, instead of stopping such participations within inFEARiority and SOUPeriority altogether. If and when I see myself move or about to move within the pattern of inFEARiority or SOUPeriority, I stop, BREATHE, see if I have missed an opportunity to self-forgive and if so, forgive myself from my participation within the games of the mind as superiority and inferiority and bring myself back HERE within and as the BREATH as the self-honest expression of myself within and as the physical as all as One as Equal as Life.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as inferiority/superiority, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as inferiority/superiority when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “rejection/inferiority” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of rejection/rejected as the reaction of friction experimented within parts of my physical body such as the stomach area, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of rejection, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the energies of the universe to my own advantage as self-interest, within the perspective that the practice of meditation would empower me to use the energies of the cosmos, wherein I believed that the amount of energy available in the universe was limitless and was my/our birthright, wherein each and every one who would want to use this available and limitless source of energy would be free to do so at the condition of “knowing” how to obtain that limitless source of energy, wherein I believed that my meditation practices was me “knowing” how to obtain/gain that energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push/force myself within my mind, through the generation/creation of friction within and as my mind as the consumption of physicality – as the movement from the negative, to the neutral and to the positive energies – as I was motivated by the belief that energy was my true self/identity and that my goal in life was to accumulate as much energy as possible so that I could become a “special being” which would be able to “guide others” to our “true identity” and thus our freedom – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that energy is not our true identity, as energy is finite and can never stand the test of time within eternity/infinity, but that our true identity is the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as life as that which stands the test of time into eternity/infinity as substance as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise, from within the experiences of me having “high amounts of energy” within the perspective of me acquiring and gaining those high amounts of energy through meditative practices focussing solely on the act of acquiring/gaining as much energy as possible from the cosmos, that the method of acquiring those amounts of energy was always one and the same, meaning that the levels of high energy experienced was always the result/fruit of my constant and continuous friction with physicality as who I really am as life and not the result of me sucking energy from the cosmos as energy through my meditative practices – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was burning and burning and burning who I really was/am as physicality as life through me acquiring/building excessive amounts of energy, thus abusing myself as who I truly am as the physical, only so that I could experience myself as being “more than” who I really was/am as life which was a deception that I was deliberately participating in because of the “rewards” as “positive energy” that would be gained from such practices – all of which blinded me from the truth of myself as who I really was/am as physicality as all as one as equal as Life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to the common sense within and as me as the words of who I truly am as physicality which told me to STOP within the first experiences of me experiencing myself as having/generating/burning excessively high amounts of energy, from within which I believed myself as being/becoming a “purifier for existence”, within that the energy that I experienced within myself was so “extreme” that I started to believe that I was “special” and that the energy that was contained within and as my mind was able to “change the world” because of the perception of it being “pure” and thus, could “purify/change” the world, instead of realising that the only thing that this acquirement of high energy would do as consequence, was to further my enslavement within and as the mind as the mind consciousness system through the participation of the charging and discharging of positive energies within and as my mind and within and as this entire existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to become a “special being” because of the desire/motivation/want to make myself “special” in the eyes of others, wherein I would develop meditative practices that would generate as much friction as possible within my mind in order to generate as much positive energy as possible so that I could, through the veil of the accumulated energy as positivity, manipulate people into thinking/believing that I was “special” and “illuminated” and that I could change/save the world for the better through me changing the energies all around me through my mere presence alone, from within which I perceived myself has being able to bring about a new world through the purification of the energies all around me, because of the “purity of energies” that I was able to canalise through my meditation sessions, as I then saw myself as being a “great purifier” which purpose was to purify the energies of the ether so that positivity could reign within this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the truth of me was being blinded by my desires of becoming a “great purifier”, whereas my desires of attaining/getting/gathering as much positive energy as possible blinded me from what was right HERE in front of me as the actual real identity of myself, which was simply as being equal and one with the physical as all as one as equal as life – but that my desires of being/becoming “someone more than what was obviously here as myself” blinded me from the actual real living of myself and isolated myself further within the polarity/games of the mind, from within which my enslavement to consciousness was blissfully made ignorant to my awareness because of my stubbornness to see myself as a “special being” which was “enlightened” and thus was “more than others” because of the beLIEf that I was fundamentally a being made of energy/light, which was a mindfuck that I forced myself to believe because of wanting/desiring to make me “more than” what I perceived myself as being such as this “small” physical body/being.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “positive energies” that was my inner experience of myself after having spent numerous amounts of time practicing meditation for the sole purpose of gaining/acquiring/charging as most energy as possible, was generated in all ways through the continuous friction between what I believed myself as being a being of energy, and what I truly was as equality and oneness as the physicality, wherein the charging/generation of positive energy came through the friction continuously exercised through the consumption of physicality/my physical body which resulted in the high amounts of positive energy that was experienced within the confines of my mind alone – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experiences of myself as having high amounts of energy, only came through the friction as the burning of substance as physicality, all of which would only result in me burning myself down over and over and over again, until my physical body could not endure it anymore, whereas I would then eventually experience myself as being “depressive” and “physically feeble” because of having burned enormous quantities of substance for the sole benefit of my mind’s self-interest to which I then believed as being my own – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “who I am” was the fabric of the mind as energy, instead of realising that “who I am” has and will always be HERE as the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as Eternal Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind, within my meditative practices, to engulf the universe in order to “capture” as much energy as possible in order to “funnel” this energy towards and within my physical body, so that I could become a living example of a deity as the manifestation of a spiritual being coming from the high spheres of the spiritual hierarchies. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through me expressing myself within and as this “high energy accumulation”, that I was thus a living example of a deity instead of realising that who I was within and as the expression of myself as “high energy accumulation” was not the living example of a deity, but rather the living manifestation of a demonised entity as myself which only acted for the sole purpose of its self-interest as the experience of positivity as itself, instead of realising that the true living example of life is that of the physical expressing itself as the physical, without no participation within energy as positivity/neutrality/negativity as the mind, whereas the stopping of the energies as the mind comes through the practice of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that one can change from being enslaved to the systems of the mind as energy, to being freed as the expression of life which is equal and one as physicality as all as one as equal as Life = not energetically driven at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume physicality through the projection of myself within and as the universe/cosmos/creation as that of funnelling/condensing/charging the energies of the cosmos towards and within my human physical body, because of the desire to be a god unto myself and this world so that I could create a new world which would be better than the world that I then experienced as myself – wherein I desired changing the state of the world through the powers of my mind/energies alone, because of the belief that my origin was that of energy and that through me realigning myself with the origin of myself as energy, that I would/could thus be able to “manipulate/change” the energies of the world so that the energies of the cosmos could change the state of the world through me for the better, whereas I then perceived myself as being a medium of higher cosmic energies/consciousness that would/could change the energies of the world so that a new and better world could be made manifest on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my origin as the core of my being was that of energy, because of having read the testimonies of a man who had a near death experience from within which it was revealed to him that we were made of energies, instead of realising the common sense in the fact that who I was/am as the origin of myself could/can only be equal and one with all living beings instead of being “unique” and “special” and “different” such as the state of my mind when within the “high conglomerate” of energies within and as my mind alone, and thus that the common sense origin of myself as all as one as equal can only be the physical as substance as Life, Equal and One with all living beings and not the mind as positive, neutral and negative energy experiences of the physical.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “low energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which I absolutely do not want to experience any more.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com