I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my future, because of the belief that I will have a hard time when I will be in a working environment, as I am currently unemployed and looking for a job, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine my future out of the foundation/starting point of fear – instead of stopping myself from accepting and allowing myself to participate within the fear of the mind, through the application of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to stop myself from being controlled by my fears, and re-script myself so that I become the self-directive principle of me in my world, where no fear will be allowed to control me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will have a hard time when I will find myself in a working environment, because of having accepted and allowed myself to base my fears out of my past experiences as a “worker” in society – instead of realising that I am not the same person as I was when I was working in the past as I have changed through time and through the application of the “process” in my life, and that if I am to see myself move or about to move within the pattern of “fearing to be in a working environment”, that I am to immediately stop myself from being controlled by my fears, through the application of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the “fruit of the mind” as illusion, into becoming one and equal to who I am truly as the physical as life, where I will stop allowing myself to participate within the fear of the mind so that I become the self-directive principle of me in my world – and not my fears – so that I may become a living example for myself and others as myself as to what it is to be a responsible human being in this world, which acts within the interest of all life so as to bring about a world which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to, whenever I see myself move or about to move within the pattern of projecting myself into the near or distant future through the lenses of fear, to immediately stop myself from entertaining the idea that I will experience something which I have deemed as being negative, through the realisation that I have in fact changed since the last time I worked, and that if I am to see myself live experiences that are akin to those that have formed the belief that I “fear my immediate or distant future”, that I am to immediately stop myself from further reinforcing the belief within me, through the application of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application – so as to change the patterns that I have accepted and allowed myself to be equal to as the mind, and re-birth myself as life as the physical where no fears exists, but only the self-directive principle as me in my world, so as to be able to ACT according to the principle of oneness and equality, so as to bring about a world which is best for all life in this world.

 

I commit myself to actually write daily in my blog so as to reinforce the patterns of change that I want to instil into me, through the constant and continuous daily use of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, and stop making self-commitment statements that I am not committed into making through the actual application of “small” self-commitment statements that I am actually able to commit myself to.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone with myself in the near future, because of the fact that the couple who are currently living with me, will leave my apartment in about a week or so, which will make it so that I will find myself alone again – after having spent the last month in their company because of having offered my help towards them, as they were then looking for an apartment to go to because of the fact that they have been booted from the apartment where they were previously living -, wherein I fear that I will become depressed through the transitional period because of the fact that I have accepted and allowed myself to “feel” comfortable in their company, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to nurture and “appreciate” their company while they were with me – and that now that I think about the reality of the fact that they will leave me in about a week, that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “depressed” about the idea that I will find myself alone again, whereas I have forecasted a “return” to hold habits and a “return” to a solitary way of life, which – in contrast with what I have lived when with the company of the couple – is making me “feel” depressed because of the thought that I won’t have a life which will be equally interesting as when I was living with their company – instead of stopping myself from allowing myself to nurture the thoughts which are associated with what I forecast my future to be like as that of being a return to a “negative way” of living, and stop those patterns of thinking within me so that, as they arise within me, I am able to stop myself from furthering my fall within the mind through the use of breathing, writing, self-forgiveness and self-honesty so as to change the patterns of thoughts within me, which are only interested in protecting my own self-interests, into a pattern of thinking/acting that will be reflective of a being who is one and equal with life as the physical, so that my focus remains within where I am as HERE as life as the physical within all given moment in time, such as to become an example of what it is to be a responsible human being in this world, which actually and in fact cares for all life as one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire having sexual experiences with the “girl” in the couple who is currently living with me, because of the fact that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain secret desires within the secret mind as she was living with me for the past month or so – where I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fact that I have seen her countless amounts of time in her underwear, to nourish and nurture the secret sexual desires within me – where I have accepted and allowed myself to fantasise about her being naked in front of me, where I would be able to touch and caress her naked body – where I would allow myself to let the sexual tensions built up within me – instead of stopping myself from allowing myself to fall within the energetic tensions that built up within me as I am and was within her company, through the use of breathing so as to remind myself that all that is occurring within myself within such instances is of the mind and not me; writing so as to see myself, in writing, through the patterns and mind constructs that are at the foundation of my enslavement towards the mind and it’s patterns; self-forgiveness so as to release myself from the points of separation within me, which manifests themselves whenever I find myself in a situation where I am within the same vicinity of a girl/women that I secretly physically desire/appreciate; self-honesty so as to actually truly see myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and self-corrective application so as to change myself from the patterns of the mind which only enforces my relationship to the illusions of the mind so as to change myself from what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and rebirth myself as life as the physical, so that I will be able to stop acting within the sole perspective of the mind and it’s self-interested patterns which are responsible for the state of separation the world currently is in, and rebirth myself as life as who I truly am as the physical here, so that I can be an example to all and myself as to what it is to be a responsible human being who actually cares for life on earth and does whatever it takes to bring back life as equality and oneness for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire having sex with the girl who is currently living with me whenever I look into her eyes, and where I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to “manipulate her” into wanting to have sex with me through the mere eye contact, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to try to manipulate my sexual energies towards her, so that I could be able to “influence her” into wanting to have sex with me — where I would project the sexual energies towards her through my imagination, within my secret mind – instead of stopping myself from attempting to secretly manipulate her into “desiring me” through the use of “mind tricks” that I have stated above – and that if I am to see myself move or about to move within the pattern of trying to manipulate her with my sexual energies whenever I am within a moment where I am communicating with her, that I am to immediately stop myself from furthering such a patterned behaviour within my mind, through the use of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to release myself from the grasp that I have accustomed myself into being subjected to whenever I find myself in a situation where I am within the company of a girl/women that I secretly desire, so that I remove the cloud which obscures my observations in order for me to remain stable here within who I truly am as the physical as life, so that I may be able to realise myself as life as who I truly am here as the physical and become an example to all and myself as to what it is to be a responsible human being who actually truly ACT within the perspective of what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive the experience of me being alone with myself, as being a “negative thing”, wherein I would accept and allow myself to be manipulated by the thoughts, ideas and memories which comes to mind whenever I think about the times where I was alone with myself,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by the times that I have lived while the “couple” was living with me in my apartment, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to “judge” the times spent with the “couple” as being “entertaining” thus “good”, while judging the opposing experiences, such as the experiences of me being alone with myself in my apartment as being “bad” even if that was not the case when I was living alone with myself – only because of having accepted and allowed myself to use the experiences that I have lived while living with the couple in my apartment, as a contrasting point within myself, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to “judge” the past experiences of me living alone with myself in my apartment as being “bad” even if that was not the case – instead of stopping my patterned behaviour of “judging” my experiences in contrast to other “past experiences”, only so that I may continue with my patterned abusive behaviour of labelling my experiences as being “good” or “bad” even though I am aware of the fact that it is those judgments that are responsible for my instability in life – and that if I am to see myself move or about to move within such a patterned behaviour of judgment, that I am to immediately stop myself from entertaining the self-abusive path where those patterns are leading me to, through the use of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to stop myself from being trapped within the mind through its self-inflected patterns of abuse and enslavement which are responsible for the state of the world as it currently is, and change myself from being an irresponsible human being to being a responsible human being who actually and in fact cares for the state of the world and work/act in order to bring about a world which is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself through the feelings that emerged within me as I was thinking about the fact that I will probably find myself back as being alone in about a week or so, whereas I have accepted and allowed myself to become “depressed” about the idea of returning to living a life of loneliness and boredom, even if that was not the case when I was living alone with myself, only because of the fact that I have accepted and allowed myself to become attached to the way of life that has been my own ever since the “couple” started living with me about a month or so ago – instead of stopping myself from being manipulated by the feelings within me, through the realisation that I am not my feelings, thoughts or emotions, and through the constant application of tools such as breathing, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, so as to methodically change all the points within me which keeps me enslaved to the conditionings of the mind, and rebirth myself as life HERE as the physical, where the mind is only burdening my perception of life as who I am truly and is therefore, completely unnecessary.

I commit myself to, whenever I see myself move or about to move within the pattern of judging my life as being negative because of the fact that I live alone, to immediately stop myself from participating within such a destructive and abusive pattern through the use of breathing, so as to STOP myself from falling within the mind and remain here within the stability of myself as life as the physical and act in order to bring about real change in my life.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining secret sexual desires within the secret mind whenever I find myself within the company/vicinity of a woman/girl that I secretly appreciate, through the use of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to, when I see myself move or about to move within the pattern of “fantasising about having sexual experiences with a girl”, change the patterned behaviour which keeps me enslaved to the mind’s constructs, and rebirth/rescript myself so as to be and become one and equal to who I truly am as life as who I am within and as the physical here.

I commit myself to, whenever I see myself move or about to move within the pattern of having my thoughts/perception of myself be influenced by the inner feelings that I have about a changing situation, immediately stop myself from participating within the thought pattern which emerges from those feelings, through – if possible – immediately going in front of my computer or finding a piece of paper and a pen in order to write about what I am currently going through, so as to see the patterns in front of myself so as to be able to remove the cloud within my mind which keeps me enslaved to patterns of enslavement and abuse of the mind, and change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, through the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application throughout my writings.

I commit myself to actually write daily in my blog so as to reinforce the patterns of change that I want to instil into me, through the constant and continuous daily use of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, and stop making self-commitment statements that I am not committed into making through the actual application of “small” self-commitment statements that I am actually able to commit myself to.

I commit myself to stop myself from making judgments about being alone as being something which is inherently negative, through the perception that I have copied from society and those that have come before me, and actually realise that I have always only been alone within myself and that there never was “another” within myself throughout all of the experiences that I have lived through in my life – and that if I am to see myself move or about to move within the patterns of judging myself based on whether I am or am not alone with myself, to immediately stop myself from participating within such patterns through the use of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a “mind program”, and re-establish life as who I truly am as the physical HERE, where no judgments or mind is necessary.

I commit myself to, whenever I see myself move or about to move within a pattern of judgment, to immediately remind myself that such a pattern filters my perception to the point of extreme limitation where the ability to enjoy life is hampered – and to stop myself from the act of judgment through the realisation that all judgments made are only further limiting myself within my own mind, where who I am as life as the physical remains forgotten.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Today, rather than doing self-forgiveness (which I will do consequentially tomorrow, that is, I will write my self-forgiveness statements regarding what I am about to discuss here tomorrow) I will write about a particular concern that has crept through my awareness recently. The problem that I am facing within myself concerning the dynamics of the thoughts that are busy occurring within my mind, concerns the fact that I have noticed a great difference within my expression in relation to how I expressed myself prior to the moment where I have been hospitalised for treatment of my, apparently ostensible, bipolar disorder (*according to the medical profession).

So, the problem I’ve been experiencing recently as I was saying, concerns the fact that I am not as fluent within my verbal expression as I was prior to the moment where I have been hospitalised, the hospitalisation of which started in June of last year (2011). What I have noticed in particular that is generating concern within my expression, is that I have a hard time pronouncing the words that I intend to express whenever I am “caught” within a conversation with another being. I have to say though, that I am not as invested in communication as I was in previous years, as I have been living alone in my apartment ever since April of this year, as my then housemate decided to go and live elsewhere. So, I’ve noticed that I have much more difficulties expressing myself as I had in the past, whereas I have specifically noticed a significant change in my expression ever since I started talking medication in order to “treat” my condition.

This situation is generating concerns within the “mind chatter” that goes on within the secrets of my secret mind, where I most often than not, see myself engaging in conversations within myself, where I am depreciating the person that I am today, in contrast to the person that I was prior to my hospitalisation. You see, before being hospitalised, I was known as being a person who had “its ways with words”, meaning that I was fluent within the expression of myself verbally through words, where I used sophisticated words in order to describe the things that I was describing to others.

However, the dynamics within my brain have considerably changed since the time where I started being medicated in Autumn of last year (2011). I experience/feel myself as being so entangled within the effects of the medication that is ordained for me to take, that I have lost touch with that “self-expression” that was prominent within my being prior to the time where I started taking the medication. So, what I am currently expressing of myself whenever I am within a conversation with another, is somewhat the “shadow” of what I once was within my expression. I am now not as fluent as I was before when I express myself verbally with others, where I frequently find myself looking for words that would have otherwise been instantaneously realised in the past. I often find myself discussing with myself within my own mind prior to moments where I feel the impulsion to say something to another, where I tell myself things like “I better not talk because of the fact that I have so much difficulty in my expression recently” or “I better not talk because I cannot seem to remember the word that I am trying to express within what I impulsively want to convey”.

So you see, this situation has brought my self-expression within a layer of self-doubt that I haven’t experienced within myself before, and all of this self-doubt has been created since I began taking my medication this past Autumn (2011). So, I am currently very much concerned and doubtful about myself within my expression when I am within a situation where I am brought to express myself verbally with another. And it’s bothering me to the nth level.

I will write my self-forgiveness statements regarding this situation of mine within my next post tomorrow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being criticised by another, whereas in the case of being criticised, I would participate within thoughts in order to generate noise within my secret mind only so that I wouldn’t be able to correctly hear the critique being made against me because of me not wanting to be aware of that which can be perceived as being negative and against me, because of me fearing certain words that others are eligible to express against me – instead of stopping myself from fearing being criticised by another, through me changing the signification and meaning that certain words may have so that I would stop reacting out of fear towards those words, and regain the full directive authority over myself and over everything that occurs within me, so as to remain stable here within and as the physical as life, and if I am to be moved by another’s words being made in relation to me, that I am to immediately apply the tools of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become such as the robotic nature that I have copied from those who have come before me, and rebirth myself as life from the physical, so that my actions and deeds change from being only concerned with my self-interests, to being concerned to the interests of the many such as to change my actions so that they suit what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to love being adulated/cherished by another, whereas in the case of being adulated/cherished, I would participate within thoughts of positively charged energies, because of me loving/appreciating/polarising certain words that others are eligible to express in relation to me – instead of stopping myself from loving/polarising being adulated/cherished by another, through me changing the signification and meaning that certain words may have so that I would stop reacting out of positive feelings towards those words, and regain the full directive authority over myself and over everything that occurs within me, so as to remain stable here within and as the physical as life, and if I am to be moved by another’s words being made in relation to me, that I am to immediately apply the tools of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become such as the robotic nature that I have copied from those who have come before me, and rebirth myself as life from the physical, so that my actions and deeds change from being only concerned with my self-interests, to being concerned to the interests of the many such as to change my actions so that they suit what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react out of fear whenever I am about to read a document or text or mail that have been sent to me as a feedback  to my actions, wherein I would accept and allow myself to “read quickly without properly understanding the words within the text document” because of the fear that I have of reading something that would go against the self-image that I have set out for myself within my secret mind, such as being perfect the way that I am whereas any suggestions that I may be otherwise are automatically discarded out of the fear of actually having to change the positive self-image that I have set out for myself within my secret mind – instead of stopping myself from allowing myself from participating with the constructs of the mind such as stopping the energetic reactions towards the words that I read which are destined to me personally, through me applying the tools of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be within and as the words that I read, so as to eventually remain completely stable when reading such words.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within the polarity manifestation of the mind through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to be controlled by my mind, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the thusly generated friction and consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy and in fact make the situation worse – to which I am ultimately not of energy, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “anxiety or nervousness” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “fear”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the “perfect self-image that I hold onto within the secret mind”, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

 

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear coming face to face with a friend of the past

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project anxiety towards the moments where I meet acquaintances and friends of the past to which I haven’t seen for a long time

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to define myself as a loser when comparing myself to the friends and acquaintances of the past

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am based on society’s definition of success and failure

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I am participating within the ego of the mind when I accept and allow success and failure within me. I do not accept and allow success and failure to influence me. I do not accept and allow success and failure within me. Life is not defined by success and/or failure. Life is undefined. I am undefined. I remain undefined thus I am not defined by success and/or failure. I am life. I am here as life as all as one as equal. I breathe.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear meeting people whom I knew in the past, because of the fear of their reactions if I were to tell them that I do not work, that I do not have a family, that I do not make money and that I still live with my mother. I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear the fear of the mind, through me participating in the fear of the mind of being ridiculed for being who I am as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind consciousness system. I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that I fear becoming that which I hide from others as myself if I were to meet someone that I knew in the past, and tell them what I have allowed myself to become as who I am as the mind consciousness system. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am the mind consciousness system. I am not the mind consciousness system. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear revealing who I am as what I keep from others as my current lifestyle because of the belief that I will be ridiculed and laughed at and rejected for leading such a lifestyle. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear who I have become which is an illusion thus I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realize that all that I ever was and that all that I will ever be as perceived through the mind is an illusion – who I am is HERE in self-honesty as me, in all ways and always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my friend’s behaviour while we were watching a baseball game in a stadium in Toronto, where I reacted to my friend’s behaviour of watching the pictures that he had taken through using his camera instead of watching the baseball game, where I used the excuse of projecting blame towards him because of the fact that he wasn’t paying attention to the baseball game wherein I wanted him to pay attention to the baseball game instead of paying attention to the pictures that he had taken through using his camera – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger/frustration within and as myself through me witnessing that he wasn’t paying attention to the baseball game that we paid to attend to, seemingly being more interested to watching the pictures that he had taken through his camera instead of giving attention to the baseball game that we had both paid money to attend within the context of our trip/vacation to Toronto.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to control the behaviour of my friend, whereas I wanted him to watch the baseball game instead of watching the pictures he had taken through the use of his camera, and that because I wasn’t able to control what my friend was doing, such as watching the pictures that he had taken instead of watching the baseball game, that I accepted and allowed myself to react within friction as blame/spite/judgments towards my friend for not abiding to my desires of him placing his full attention on the baseball game rather than placing his attention on the pictures he had taken – instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the reaction as frustration for my friend not placing his full attention on the baseball game, that I was thus being controlled by the emotions within and as my mind thus furthering my enslavement to the illusions of the mind instead of stopping such sterile participations within the mind, through the tool of BREATHING, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to return myself to HERE as who I really am, as that which remains stable within and as self-honesty as BREATH HERE as the physical as life. I now see/understand/realise that whenever I allow myself to participate within frustrations towards the behaviour that another as myself has within a given situation, that I thus accept and allow myself to be controlled by the systems of the mind, which makes me a puppet to energy wherein i thus remain enslaved to the mind rather than realising myself HERE as the unconditional expression of who I am as the physical as life, within remaining stable HERE within and as self-honesty as the unconditional expression of who I am HERE within and as the physical as life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this “ball of energy” swell up within and as my throat area when I told my friend that “I didn’t care about his pictures” as a reply to him telling me that he was “deleting the pictures that he didn’t like within his camera” – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within blame/spite/judgments towards my friend’s remark when he told me that he was “deleting the pictures that he didn’t like within his camera”, because of the “feeling” of “frustration” that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in within my mind, as I was frustrated that he was looking at his pictures rather than looking at the baseball game – telling to myself as an excuse within my mind that he could do this in another moment than the moment we were sharing together as the moment we shared within the baseball stadium.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the reason why I was frustrated that my friend was looking at his pictures within his digital camera rather than looking at the baseball game was, within self-honesty, because of the insecurity that I experience within myself when someone near me plays with a camera, because of the feeling of insecurity that I experience towards the possibility that such a person may use the camera in order to take a photo of me – as I feel insecure about seeing myself in a picture because of the belief that I am too “ugly” to be seen in a picture – and that this feeling of insecurity generated frictions of blame/spite/judgments towards my friend because of the fact that i feared him taking a picture of me, and that I hid that fear from him and myself through me projecting blame/spite/judgments towards my friend for “playing with his camera rather than not playing with his camera” just so that I could continue “hiding” my fear of being taken a picture of, through me using the excuse of blaming/spiting/judging my friend as being “bad” for him not placing his attention on the baseball game rather than placing it on his camera – Within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not participate within the emotions of the mind, such as the emotion of being frustrated because of the fact that my friend was playing with his camera, wherein I accepted and allowed myself to participate within the illusions of the mind as the feelings of frustrations only because of the fact that I feared that my friend would eventually decide to take a picture of me, as the feeling of being uncomfortable within the moments when my friend was playing with his camera, built and built and built and accumulated and accumulated and accumulated frustration within and as me as spite/blame/judgments that I have towards the camera for not giving “good pictures of me” such as pictures that others as myself would eventually say “he is so beautiful/charming” – and that because such a reaction is so rarely the case towards me, that I have built a strong feeling of frustration towards and within the camera within itself, for not generating pictures of me that others would qualify as being “good/pretty/nice”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the frictions of the mind, such as the generation of the emotion of frustration, that built and built and built and accumulated and accumulated and accumulated and thus eventually exploded within the act of me saying to my friend, through a “loaded/charged” answer that “I didn’t CARE about his pictures or camera” while having this loaded/charged answer/remark/reaction being directed at my friend only because of the frustration that I have towards the fact that he was playing with his camera and through me interpreting that behaviour as meaning that he gave a lot of value to the camera and it’s pictures, which made me feel insecure about myself because of the idea/thought/belief that when I am placed within the format of a picture, that I am not perceived as being “valuable” by others as myself, as me as a picture of a camera has never received any form of desired accolade from others as myself, through others telling me that I am “pretty in a picture”, and that because of that, that I entertain within the silences of my mind, negative relationships/energy towards every camera or behaviour of someone playing with his camera because of feeling sad about myself not getting good accolades from others when I am seen within the format of a picture.

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within feelings of insecurity within myself when I am within the presence of a camera, because of the fear that I have of someone eventually taking a picture of me and the possibility of that someone as myself to react negatively to that picture of me while within my presence, because of me not wanting to hear negative things about my image as I am still insecure about the picture presentation of myself – instead of STOPPING all feelings of insecurity of myself as a picture presentation, through the tools of BREATHING, writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to CHANGE my reactions so as to become equal and one with the unconditional expression of myself HERE, wherein no reactions occurs as I remain STABLE within and as the BREATH within and as the physical as life as all as one as equal, whatever the reactions of another as myself may or may not have in regards to the picture presentation of myself here. Within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am is not limited to a picture presentation of myself, but that who I am is unlimited within the unconditional expression of myself as the physical as life as innocence as who I truly am HERE within and and self-honesty.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within emotions of frustrations towards a camera as fears of facing myself as the picture presentation of myself, instead of stopping my participation within fears through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to stop myself from participating within all fears so as to become the unconditional expression of myself here, and thus express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of fears such as the fear of seeing myself in a picture, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of fears, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “fearing looking at my picture/me” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “fears”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of fears, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear living without energy because of the addiction that i have within and towards energy, whereas I constantly and continuously seek energy as a positive experience of myself because of being addicted to the experience sof me swelling up inside of me through the accumulation of positive energy, where I become gradually possessed by my own desires as self-interest to the extent where I close my eyes to what is actually happening within my environment as the physical because of being caught within my personal experience/desires of positive energy within and as my mind – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experience of me when within the accumulation of positive energy is only the experience of me as the mind of energy, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and that whatever I experience within and as energy as the mind is always an illusion for the simple reason that the energy is dependent on outside influences because of being finite, rather than realising that who i truly am remains forever HERE as stability and infinity within and as the physical as life as the truth of me, and that when I am caught within the experiences of myself as positive energy, that I stop through the application of BREATHING and the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I stop all participation within energy as the mind and realise myself as LIFE as the physical as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the games of “energy exchanges” when I am participating within whatever activities with the company of a friend, such as my accepted and allowed participation within gossiping and blame and judgments that I participate in whenever I am with a friend because of the habit that I have created of participating within such activities when within the relationship with another, instead of realising that the games that I play when with the company of others as friends of mine, are games that doesn’t stand for oneness and equality as they are a statement of separation as the perceived differences in the mind, whereas I am and become completely unstable because of being manipulated and governed/directed by the energies within and as my mind – instead of stopping such participations through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to build self-trust and self-will so that to CHANGE what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as a system of abuse, and become equal to the system of life which is the system of oneness and equality between all living beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to build a habit of participating within games of energies when I am with the company of others, such as friends, wherein i have conditioned myself into behaving in ways where I allow myself to generate situations of “laughter” so as to build the positive energies within and as myself and another as myself, instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of gaining positive energies, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within negative energies within and as myself because of the equal and one relationship between positive energy and negative energy, whereas as I experience positive energy within and as myself, I automatically invite negative energy within and as myself within another moment of self-expression – which are specifically the moments where I experience the “other side” of the conditions that I have generated within and as my mind in order to experience/exchange positive energy, such as when I am alone with myself rather than being with the company of another, wherein I experience the negative discharge of energy when the condition of the manifestation of the positive energy within me is not present anymore = such as when I am alone with myself I tend to experience the “other side” of the positive energy that I experience when I am with the company of another. Within this, i forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the exchange of positive energies when I am with another, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within the exchange of negative energies when I am not with another, such as when I am alone with myself and that through this, that I accept and allow myself to be possessed by thoughts of negativity such as thoughts of “killing myself” because of not having built self-love and self-trust when within the company of myself alone. I now see/understand/realise that for me to stop myself from participating within negative thoughts that comes from / are birthed from the experience of myself as the mind as negative energy, that I have to stop myself from participating within positive thoughts that comes from/are birthed from the experience of myself as positive energy, wherein I become possessed and delude myself into thinking/believing that everything is fine with the world, whereas this is far from the truth as the system of abuse as the system of the world is based on such desires of “gaining more positive energy”/”gaining more money” at all cost, where life gets left to rot only because of the selfish desires of humanity to always gain more and more and more positive energy/money at the expense of life/god/the physical, and that for me to come back to my senses and be HERE as equal and one with the physical, that I have to stop myself from participating within the games of energy as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “charge myself up” through the practices of meditation techniques from within which the purpose of the practices is to gain as much positive energy as possible, for the soul purpose of satisfying the desires of my self-interests – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my desires as self-interests, whereas I only seek to satisfy my self-interests of becoming as happy as I can be through the accumulation of positive energy, while i accept and allow this world to be destroyed through the greed/abuse of self-interests as the system of mankind, only because of my personal and separate desires to have my own personal heaven as separation from all and everything, rather than realising that through me separating myself from all and everything within the self-interested purpose of constructing/gaining my own little heaven, that I am actually separating myself from who I truly am as life as the physical as all as one as equal and that I will eventually face the dire consequences of that self-separation at death – instead of stopping such self-interested behaviours through the investigation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as abuser of life, so that I may come to see the constructs within and as my mind so that, from within the starting point of self-awareness, that I stop all of my participation within the system of abuse as the system of self-interest only, and become equal to the interest of all as one as equal as life as the physical, so that we/I can CHANGE what we/I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as humanity and become the living examples of what we truly are as life which acts for the best interests of all living beings as equals and one.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting myself to another human being without first being energised within and as my mind consciousness system, because of the fear of not having the energy to be able to “find the words to communicate with” when with the company of another, because of having conditioned myself to “perform better within my conversations with others as myself” when I am under the influence of a positively charged accumulation of energy, wherein the “words to communicate with” comes easier/faster when I am positively charged with energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear communicating with another human being, such as communicating with a sales clerk, when i am not firstly charged with and as energy because of the fear that I have of others seeing/thinking that I am strange for “talking too slow” because of the fact that the words within my mind doesn’t come as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the energy as the mind when within the act of communicating with another, wherein the words comes more easily when I am firstly charged with positive energy in contrast of the words not coming as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I don’t need the accumulation of positive energy to be able to talk with another human being as myself, within the perspective of having words come easily within and as my being, and that if the words are still directed/governed by the presence or lack of the presence of the accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind, that I am thus still directed by the mind as energy and that for me to stop myself from participating within such a limitation within and as my expression of myself, that I have to firstly STOP myself from participating within the accumulation of positive energy within and as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free my expression from the conditions that I programmed into my being such as the need to generate/accumulate positive energy within and as my mind before talking to another as myself, and thus allowing myself to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that i need energy in order to be able to express myself to others, wherein I have programmed myself into acquiring/manipulating the energies within and as my mind so as to accumulate as much as positive energy as possible before allowing myself to communicate with another being as myself, because of the accepted and allowed belief as condition that I have placed within and as my expression, that in order for me to be able to be listened to, that I have to express myself with as much as energy as possible so that the people to whom I am expressing myself to, doesn’t get distracted by other things around them so as to keep them “locked into me” for the purpose of them satisfying my self-interest of being listened to/being given attention to, rather than them placing their attention on other things than my expression as my desire to be listened to. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to control/manipulate others as myself through the usage/expression of myself as “high energy” so that I may be given attention to within the belief/perception that people around me are as addicted as me to energy and that because of expressing myself within the starting point of high energy, that I thus automatically attract and maintain the attention of others around me – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the act of manipulating others around me through me projecting myself as the “reserve of high energy” as the mind, that I thus automatically enslave myself and others as myself within and as the system of abuse as the system of gaining/attracting as much energy as possible without considering the consequences towards life as the physical because of only being controlled/directed by self-interest alone, instead of stopping such participation within self-interest through the tools of self-investigation that comes from writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free myself from the programming of the mind and so that I can script myself as my new behaviour within the starting point of acting within the interest of what is best for all life, Equal and one with all living beings of this world.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the game of competing for “positive energy” as the mind, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of competition, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “seeking to accumulate as much positive energy as possible before communicating with another human being” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of seeking to project myself as having high energy to others, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of high/positive energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com