I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have generated the belief, throughout my childhood years, that I could become a being such as “Superman”, because of having idolised the “Superman” character from the movies, from within which I have actually brought myself to believe that, within the saying of “everything is possible”, that it was/is possible to become a being such as “Superman” and that one could “fly in the sky” and have “inhumane force” if one could chose to be so, because after all, like the saying said : “Everything is possible”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the extent of actually believing that I could eventually “fly in the sky”, have “inhumane force” and be a superhero such as the character of “Superman”, because of actually believing the saying that said “everything is possible”, wherein I have imagined the possibility of becoming “Superman” within my secret mind, whereas I have constantly and continuously built the “Superman entity/character/persona” within the secrets of my mind, wherein I have stored and generated tremendous amounts of energy within the relationships of “hoping to become superman” and the “positive affirmations” within my own mind, from within which I have generated the “Superman Entity” within and as the secrets of my mind, and where I have actually come to express and embody within my first “psychosis” back in 2003, where I believed that I did in fact became “Superman” – but not within the universal picture of the Superman character, but rather within the principle of what the “Superman” character stood for – and that I allowed myself to delve deep within the delusions of the mind because of having attained a level of mental energy that made me believe that I was a “special being” such as what “superman” is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of positive energy, such as the feeling of an overwhelming sense of grandeur whenever I hear the “Superman theme song” or whenever I see an excerpt of a past superman movie or a future superman movie, wherein I sense the energy swell up inside me to the extent/point where I become so overwhelmed by the “positive energy/feeling” that I completely lose focus of where I am within and as the given moment, and become entirely possessed by the “energetic entity” that is birthed from the relationship that I have built with the character of “superman”, whereas I start imagining myself flying in the sky, running faster than a “speeding bullet” and/or, just to simply visualise myself within the company of superman whereas I become emotionally unstable – instead of remaining HERE stable within and as my human physical body through the tools of BREATHING in order to interrupt my participation within the energy that is generated through the mind games that I participate in while relating myself to the “superman” character, so as to stop myself from feeding the delusions of the mind through my participation within the “superman” character, and return to who I truly am HERE within and as the physical as life, so as to eventually birth myself from the physical as life and to stop myself from entertaining the games of the mind which only entraps myself further into and as the illusions of the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of negative energy within and as myself, such as the feeling of longing, depression and sadness whenever I do not participate within the “superman” character within and as my mind, whereas the high energy that is associated with the superman character cannot be made present within and as my own mind, from within which the “thought of being more than who I am” is not made manifest, but where the thought of “being less than who I want to be” such as who I truly am within and as the physical, is made manifest through the “routine” that I have defined as being “boring” in comparison to the “routine” that could be if I were to be “superman”. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me defining my “routine” as being “boring”, that I have thus invited the negative energy to overpower me within and as the moments where my habitual “routine” is made manifest, whereas I constantly and continuously feed the sadness, depression and longing for something “more” because of not being able to “find something to like” about my habitual “routine” – instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the preferences of the mind, such as the likes and dislikes, that I thus allow myself to be enslaved by the games of the mind as polarity manifestations, which ultimately controls the sense of who I am within and as the emotions that my likes and dislikes generates within and as me, whereas I become the slave to my emotions rather than stopping my enslavement all together, through the application of BREATHING in order to stop the movements as energy within my own mind, self-forgiveness to peg the patterns that are continuing my enslavement towards my mind, self-honesty to actually see who and what I am within my own mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and self-corrective application in order to stop participating within the patterns of enslavement that I have pegged within self-forgiveness – so that I can ultimately change myself in order to act towards what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get emotionally involved towards the prospect of the new superman movie that is to come out in June of 2013, whereas I have allowed myself to participate within an emotional uproar after having seen the firsts videos and music from the upcoming movie over the internet, where I actually experienced myself within an emotional high such as the feeling of an overwhelming joy because of the inner satisfaction that I have experienced within myself as I was watching those videos and images of the superman movie to come in June of 2013 – instead of stopping myself from participating within the emotional reactions within myself, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within emotions as energy as the mind, that I thus accept and allow myself to be governed and determined by the mind, which only enslaves me within a system of abuse which abuses physicality as life through the consumption of physicality for the own sustenance of energy as the mind as illusion, which is finite, rather than aligning myself towards the physical as life as all as one as equal, so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, so as to be and become that which I should have been from the beginning, which is LIFE itself as the physical as all as one as equal, so as to change the system of abuse of the world and bring about a system which honours life, one and equal with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am and was equal to what I have defined as being the “Superman” principle, through the realisation that if I cannot become equal to the superman character, that I could at least become equal to the “Superman principle”, which I have defined as being the principle of being a “leader” which leads through the example that is brought through the relationship that the leader has with “high energy”, wherein I have perceived myself as being this “leader” through the accumulation and expulsion/manifestation of “high energy” through the constant accumulation of energy through meditative practices and through the feeding of the idea of eventually becoming equal to “superman” – instead of stopping myself from feeding this “superman principle” through the simple tools of Breathing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so as to completely stop myself from participating within the delusions of the mind, and return to where I am HERE as the self-honest expression of who I am as life, which is equal and one with all of physicality, equal and one with all living beings.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within the mind’s emotions in relation to the “superman” character, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the characters of the mind, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “desiring to be/become superman” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “the superman character”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of “what it is to be superman”, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed after coming back from vacation, whereas I have allowed myself to feel down because of the fact that I am not as active as I was when I was in vacation as I have allowed myself to participate within the energetic down coming from the contrast in activities between the states of being busy within the activities that I participated in as I was vacationing to being lazy within the lack of activities that I participated in as I came back from vacation. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within feelings of energetic highs when I was busy with many different activities as I was vacationing last week, and that I have allowed myself to participate within energetic lows when I suddenly became “lazy” when I came back from vacation a few days ago – instead of stopping all of my participation within energy as the mind, through me placing myself back HERE within and as the BREATH and correcting my participation within the mind through self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to remain within stability as myself HERE within and as the physical as life as all as one as equal.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel down because of the fact that I don’t have as many activities now as I had when I was vacationing last week, whereas I experience depression within and as me because of not participating within “high energy” activities as I participated in when I was in vacation last week – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the activities that I participate in within the energies that such activities generates within and as me, rather than stopping myself from being defined by energy so as to remain stable HERE within and as the BREATH, equal and one with the physical body as life as that which is not directed or moved by energy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience sadness because of not being in vacation any longer, whereas I have allowed myself to feel sad because of coming back to the “routine” which I have defined as being “boring” in contrast to the activities that I participated in as I was in vacation last week – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience happiness when I was in vacation, whereas I have allowed myself to feel happy when I was in vacation because of the fact that most of the activities that I participated in as I was in vacation, were out of my habitual routine.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within polarity as the mind, through me participating within happiness as I was in vacation last week, and through me participating within sadness as I came back to my routine after the end of my vacation, instead of stopping myself from participating within the polarities of the mind through, when and as I see myself move or about to move into the polarity friction of the mind, use the tools of BREATHING, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to bring myself back HERE as stability within and as the physical as the REAL REALITY of who I am as all as one as equal as life.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within energy, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “feeling down or high” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “sadness”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of “sadness and or happiness”, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

Right now as I am writing, I am currently feeling a bit depressed for a reason that seems to be unknown to me. I have thus decided to write about what I currently feel/experience within myself as this slight feeling/sensation of depression in order to try and figure out where that feeling stems from, from within myself. Although I am currently unaware of the starting point of this feeling of being slightly depressed, I sense that the simple act of writing such as I am busy doing at the moment, will lead me to the starting point as the root of my slight feeling/sensation of depression.

 

So, let’s say that this feeling originates from within the contrast that I experienced today between the activity that I did with a friend of mine this afternoon, within which I played “ball” in a field near my house, and that the feeling has originated with the contrast that I experienced within myself between the state of activity I was in when I was playing “ball” and the state of activity I am currently in, as the state of being relatively inactive, within the perspective that I am currently not dispensing as much energy as I was while playing “ball” this afternoon with my friend. Thus, as I am currently looking at the cause/origin of that slight feeling of depression, I could affirm that it has been generated through what I just described as the possible/plausible cause for that feeling/sensation of slight depression, such as the experienced contrast between the two states of activities that I experienced within my day.

 

Within self-trust, I thus realise that the explanation that I have just exposed concerning the plausible origins of my slight feeling/sensation of depression is in fact true – as it is the spontaneous assessment of my current situation that I did within the act of “self-investigation” through writing myself out. Thus, within this current self-investigation of myself, I have just realised that the origin of my slight feeling/sensation of depression in fact originated from the contrast that I experienced within myself between the two experiences of me being physically active within the activity of me playing “ball” with my friend, and the other side of that contrast as me experiencing myself within the relatively inactive physical expression of myself that I currently am expressing myself as.

 

The fact that I dispensed a lot of adrenalized energy while I was playing “ball” with my friend, has burned – I suppose – a lot of physicality as the chemicals in my brain which is responsible for one’s state of mind as happiness, such as the through the generations of neurotransmitters of dopamine and serotonin. Thus, the current experience of myself may be the effect of the cause of me having burned those neurotransmitters as I was playing “ball” with my friend – and the contrast experienced between the state of mind I was in as I was playing “ball” and the state of mind I am currently in as I am experiencing myself as “writing through typing on the keyboard”.

 

So, in retrospect, I could say that my current state of mind such as feeling slightly depressive is connected to the differences of mental and body activities that exist between the two states of acting.

 

Thus, I will do self-forgiveness statements regarding what I have just unearthed through the self-investigation that I just expressed through me writing myself out of what I have experienced as myself today, as the two polar opposites of states of mind activity that I have gone through as the day went by.

 

Self-forgiveness on feeling depressive:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience depression within and as myself, because of having burned a lot of energy while I was playing “ball” with my friend, which has generated the contrast as the origin of myself feeling depressive in the moment because of not existing within and as adrenaline within and as my current state of mind – Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependent on adrenaline in order to determine the state of mind I am in within a particular moment of expression, instead of realising that such a dependency towards states of the mind as the amount of adrenaline that my mind can produce, is enforcing the enslavement of who I am as the expression of myself here as the physical, towards and within the modulating states of the mind such as the different states of adrenaline that the mind produces within and as a specific moment of physical activity, and that through me accepting and allowing myself to be defined/determined by the levels of adrenaline that is to be found within and as my brain within a given moment, is me stating that I am enslaved by the mind because of the feeling/sensations of myself as being depressive whenever I do not participate within the build-up and accumulation of adrenaline through the expression of myself within physically demanding activities, such as playing “ball”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel good about myself when I was playing “ball” with my friend this afternoon, because of the generation of adrenaline that was busy being produced by my brain when I was playing ball, and that because of the dependency of my sense of self being determined by the amount of adrenaline produced by my brain, that I have automatically experienced myself as being depressive within the moments which followed my physical activities of playing ball with my friend, whereas I have experienced myself as being depressive when the amount of adrenaline within my brain begun to deplete within and as the relative physical inactivity that I experienced within myself when I came back to my home, whereas I sat and watched tv/browsed the internet while the levels of adrenaline in my brain went down so as to reach an equilibrium within the chemicals that my brain produces. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me generating good feelings within and as myself as I was playing ball, from within which I felt fulfilled within and as the fact that I was being physically active rather than being physically inactive, that I would thus immediately experience myself as feeling bad when I would be physically inactive because of having unconsciously related the fact of being physically active as being “good” towards the fact of being inactive as being “bad” – instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within good feelings, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within bad feelings, because none comes without the other as this is the foundation upon which the games of the mind as polarity is constructed upon = one cannot come without the other, and that as soon as I accept and allow myself to participate within the “good feelings” that I generate within and as the relationship with a given physical activity, that I automatically will generate “negative feelings” when the relationship to the “good feelings” as physical activity, will be removed from the equation.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the adrenaline that I experienced within and as my brain when I was playing ball with my friend, was and is an addiction of the mind as a drug that the mind/brain produces in order to make sure that I remain enslaved to the mind as the purveyor of my desires, instead of stopping such addictions and enslavement as the dependency towards the drug as adrenaline as the giver of the “good feelings” that is produced whenever I participate within demanding physical activities, and to return to myself HERE as the self-directive principle of me in my world, wherein I accept and allow no mind addictions as chemical reactions to control/direct me, through me stopping such addiction through the tools of BREATHING, self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to release myself from all of dependencies of the mind and to return HERE as who I am as the physical as life, one and equal to all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed within and as myself when the levels of adrenaline begun to shrink in relation to the levels of adrenaline that was busy being produced when I was playing ball with my friend, wherein I experienced myself as being depressive within the perspective of suddenly stopping my intense physical activity and returning to a “calm” state whereas I as the brain wasn’t producing adrenaline any longer – instead of realising that through my expression being dependant on the levels of adrenaline within my brain, that I am thus only furthering the enslavement of myself towards the system of the mind, instead of stopping all participation within the products of the mind/brain through the tools of self-investigation through writing in order to see the origins of me as the mind, and through the application of self-forgiveness in order to release myself from the programming of the mind, self-honesty in order to directly see what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and through the tools of self-corrective application in order for me to correct my behaviour in order that it may come to reflect what is best for all life within the principle of Oneness and Equality, rather than continuing within the disease of reflecting only my self-interests as ego as that which separates itself from life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad/depressed when I was back home, wherein I participated within less intensive physical activities, such as watching television or browsing the internet, because of having unconsciously related intense physical activities such as playing ball with my friend, as being “good for me”, while unconsciously relating non intense physical activities such as being home while watching tv or browsing the internet, as being “bad for me” – instead of realising the accepted and allowed participation within polarity as games of the mind as enslavement, and stopping such enslavement towards the mind as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a character in this world, through the simple tools of BREATHING, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application so as to stop all participations within separation as the mind and to return to oneness and equality as who I truly am as life HERE as the physical, one and equal with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate good feelings with “being physically active” and bad feelings with “being physically inactive”, whereas I experience feelings of happiness within and as myself when I participate within physical activities, and where I experience feelings of unhappiness when I am not participating within physical activities – because of having been conditioned by my parents and teachers to see physical activities as being “good for me” thus generating good feelings when active, while at the same time saying that to be physically inactive is “bad for me” thus generating bad feelings when inactive, instead of realising the enslavement of myself towards and within such experiences of myself where I become directed by the mind through self-interest alone, rather than being and becoming the self-directive principle of me in my world, through the usage of common sense wherein I as the physical as life determines what actions that is in need to be done so as to bring about a world that is best for all life, rather than continuing with the system of abuse as the enslavement of the mind which only acts for the self-interests of the individual alone without considering what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the accumulation of positive energy through being physically active, and the release of negative energy through being physically inactive, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of polarity, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “generating adrenaline within and as my body because of being physically active” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of an “adrenaline junkie”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of goodness when I am physically active and badness when I am not physically active, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear living without energy because of the addiction that i have within and towards energy, whereas I constantly and continuously seek energy as a positive experience of myself because of being addicted to the experience sof me swelling up inside of me through the accumulation of positive energy, where I become gradually possessed by my own desires as self-interest to the extent where I close my eyes to what is actually happening within my environment as the physical because of being caught within my personal experience/desires of positive energy within and as my mind – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experience of me when within the accumulation of positive energy is only the experience of me as the mind of energy, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and that whatever I experience within and as energy as the mind is always an illusion for the simple reason that the energy is dependent on outside influences because of being finite, rather than realising that who i truly am remains forever HERE as stability and infinity within and as the physical as life as the truth of me, and that when I am caught within the experiences of myself as positive energy, that I stop through the application of BREATHING and the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I stop all participation within energy as the mind and realise myself as LIFE as the physical as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the games of “energy exchanges” when I am participating within whatever activities with the company of a friend, such as my accepted and allowed participation within gossiping and blame and judgments that I participate in whenever I am with a friend because of the habit that I have created of participating within such activities when within the relationship with another, instead of realising that the games that I play when with the company of others as friends of mine, are games that doesn’t stand for oneness and equality as they are a statement of separation as the perceived differences in the mind, whereas I am and become completely unstable because of being manipulated and governed/directed by the energies within and as my mind – instead of stopping such participations through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to build self-trust and self-will so that to CHANGE what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as a system of abuse, and become equal to the system of life which is the system of oneness and equality between all living beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to build a habit of participating within games of energies when I am with the company of others, such as friends, wherein i have conditioned myself into behaving in ways where I allow myself to generate situations of “laughter” so as to build the positive energies within and as myself and another as myself, instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of gaining positive energies, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within negative energies within and as myself because of the equal and one relationship between positive energy and negative energy, whereas as I experience positive energy within and as myself, I automatically invite negative energy within and as myself within another moment of self-expression – which are specifically the moments where I experience the “other side” of the conditions that I have generated within and as my mind in order to experience/exchange positive energy, such as when I am alone with myself rather than being with the company of another, wherein I experience the negative discharge of energy when the condition of the manifestation of the positive energy within me is not present anymore = such as when I am alone with myself I tend to experience the “other side” of the positive energy that I experience when I am with the company of another. Within this, i forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the exchange of positive energies when I am with another, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within the exchange of negative energies when I am not with another, such as when I am alone with myself and that through this, that I accept and allow myself to be possessed by thoughts of negativity such as thoughts of “killing myself” because of not having built self-love and self-trust when within the company of myself alone. I now see/understand/realise that for me to stop myself from participating within negative thoughts that comes from / are birthed from the experience of myself as the mind as negative energy, that I have to stop myself from participating within positive thoughts that comes from/are birthed from the experience of myself as positive energy, wherein I become possessed and delude myself into thinking/believing that everything is fine with the world, whereas this is far from the truth as the system of abuse as the system of the world is based on such desires of “gaining more positive energy”/”gaining more money” at all cost, where life gets left to rot only because of the selfish desires of humanity to always gain more and more and more positive energy/money at the expense of life/god/the physical, and that for me to come back to my senses and be HERE as equal and one with the physical, that I have to stop myself from participating within the games of energy as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “charge myself up” through the practices of meditation techniques from within which the purpose of the practices is to gain as much positive energy as possible, for the soul purpose of satisfying the desires of my self-interests – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my desires as self-interests, whereas I only seek to satisfy my self-interests of becoming as happy as I can be through the accumulation of positive energy, while i accept and allow this world to be destroyed through the greed/abuse of self-interests as the system of mankind, only because of my personal and separate desires to have my own personal heaven as separation from all and everything, rather than realising that through me separating myself from all and everything within the self-interested purpose of constructing/gaining my own little heaven, that I am actually separating myself from who I truly am as life as the physical as all as one as equal and that I will eventually face the dire consequences of that self-separation at death – instead of stopping such self-interested behaviours through the investigation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as abuser of life, so that I may come to see the constructs within and as my mind so that, from within the starting point of self-awareness, that I stop all of my participation within the system of abuse as the system of self-interest only, and become equal to the interest of all as one as equal as life as the physical, so that we/I can CHANGE what we/I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as humanity and become the living examples of what we truly are as life which acts for the best interests of all living beings as equals and one.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting myself to another human being without first being energised within and as my mind consciousness system, because of the fear of not having the energy to be able to “find the words to communicate with” when with the company of another, because of having conditioned myself to “perform better within my conversations with others as myself” when I am under the influence of a positively charged accumulation of energy, wherein the “words to communicate with” comes easier/faster when I am positively charged with energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear communicating with another human being, such as communicating with a sales clerk, when i am not firstly charged with and as energy because of the fear that I have of others seeing/thinking that I am strange for “talking too slow” because of the fact that the words within my mind doesn’t come as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the energy as the mind when within the act of communicating with another, wherein the words comes more easily when I am firstly charged with positive energy in contrast of the words not coming as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I don’t need the accumulation of positive energy to be able to talk with another human being as myself, within the perspective of having words come easily within and as my being, and that if the words are still directed/governed by the presence or lack of the presence of the accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind, that I am thus still directed by the mind as energy and that for me to stop myself from participating within such a limitation within and as my expression of myself, that I have to firstly STOP myself from participating within the accumulation of positive energy within and as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free my expression from the conditions that I programmed into my being such as the need to generate/accumulate positive energy within and as my mind before talking to another as myself, and thus allowing myself to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that i need energy in order to be able to express myself to others, wherein I have programmed myself into acquiring/manipulating the energies within and as my mind so as to accumulate as much as positive energy as possible before allowing myself to communicate with another being as myself, because of the accepted and allowed belief as condition that I have placed within and as my expression, that in order for me to be able to be listened to, that I have to express myself with as much as energy as possible so that the people to whom I am expressing myself to, doesn’t get distracted by other things around them so as to keep them “locked into me” for the purpose of them satisfying my self-interest of being listened to/being given attention to, rather than them placing their attention on other things than my expression as my desire to be listened to. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to control/manipulate others as myself through the usage/expression of myself as “high energy” so that I may be given attention to within the belief/perception that people around me are as addicted as me to energy and that because of expressing myself within the starting point of high energy, that I thus automatically attract and maintain the attention of others around me – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the act of manipulating others around me through me projecting myself as the “reserve of high energy” as the mind, that I thus automatically enslave myself and others as myself within and as the system of abuse as the system of gaining/attracting as much energy as possible without considering the consequences towards life as the physical because of only being controlled/directed by self-interest alone, instead of stopping such participation within self-interest through the tools of self-investigation that comes from writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free myself from the programming of the mind and so that I can script myself as my new behaviour within the starting point of acting within the interest of what is best for all life, Equal and one with all living beings of this world.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the game of competing for “positive energy” as the mind, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of competition, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “seeking to accumulate as much positive energy as possible before communicating with another human being” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of seeking to project myself as having high energy to others, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of high/positive energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I will publish a re-introduction to who I am here as I have now completed my first DIP assignment where I have been asked to introduce myself. It will give further perspective on the How I have come upon the Desteni material and what happenned next as my first experience with the material. So, here goes:

So, my name is Alex Parkinson, and I have been aware of the Desteni material ever since the beginning of the year 2008. How I came into contact with Desteni was something of a coincidence, as I kind of stumbled upon a video made by sunette as I was looking for something else in youtube.

Within the month of January 2008, I was within a particular state of mind from within which I was brought to a video made by sunette on youtube. The state of mind I was in at the time made me perceive myself as being “more than myself”, wherein I was within what I later realised as being a mind possession of an energetic entity where I felt and experienced myself as being “extremely more than” what I normally was/am. I have to state that this feeling of experimenting myself as being “extremely more than” what I normally experienced myself as, was brought to my consciousness as a side effect of what I have been defined/diagnosed as being, which is bipolar – and that such an experience of myself as that of the feeling of a “extreme high energy” was a consequence of my predicament as that of being a bipolar according to the psychiatrists of this world. Ever since I have been diagnosed as being bipolar, I never really perceived myself as being ill or being defined as being bipolar, but that this definition was only the result of the assessment that a psychiatrist made of me, after having experienced a first episode of a manic experience, back in June of the year 2003. So, ever since that time, I have cyclically and regularly experienced myself as being “high” within and as the experience of me. This being probably due to the fact that I had overwhelmed myself within such an experience of high energy back in the year 2003, that it created an addiction within and as my nervous system, and that I did nothing within my power to stop such an experience within myself, as I was so enthralled within the new perspective that the “high energy” brought unto my perception of existence, that I didn’t want to let go of it. Thus it became an addiction of some sorts, but an addiction which had its own life as it came and left within cycles after having first experienced this type of manic energy in 2003.

So, this explains the mind state that I was in as I first got introduced to the Desteni material. Now, concerning the hazardous events which brought me to get to know Desteni and its message, I kind of stumbled into a video made by Sunette in youtube, as I was looking for videos about spiritual subjects – to which I do not exactly remember the specificities of. However, as I was looking for videos in youtube – probably regarding the subject of life after death but I am unsure of this – my attention was brought to a thumbnail-video which was on the side of the youtube page I was looking at at the time. I saw the face of Sunette in the thumbnail, but what really caught my attention was the subtitle that was under the thumbnail-video. I do not remember exactly what was said under the thumbnail-video, but it evidently caught my attention, as I felt the urge to view it. As I was watching the video for the first time, I remember that I have experienced within myself a feeling of liberation as if I was expanding within myself as I was watching the video. I think it was about the subject of the atlanteans, but my memory of this event is failing me, so I cannot exactly tell if it was the first video that I saw of Desteni or if it was a subsequent video that I saw later on. Needless to say that essentially, what brought me to further investigate Desteni after the first video, was directly related to the “feelings” that I experienced within myself as I was watching my first video of Sunette/the dimensions. It was thus the feelings that I experienced within myself that brought me to further my investigation on the Desteni material. So, after this first encounter with Desteni, I followed the link to the Desteni web page, which was under the domain www.desteni.co.za at the time. What followed was a descent into a deeper state of manic episode, as I was so mesmerised by what I stumbled into, that I became caught within feelings of even higher states of mind, as I was completely under the spell of the fountain of relevant information that I stumbled into at the Desteni web page.

So, I started watching and watching and watching videos made by Sunette whereas I spent entire days and even nights doing that sole task – as I was completely hypnotised by the information that was revealed by the videos about the history of man, the universe and the self as was described by Sunette within her videos. In fact, my hypnotism with the Desteni videos was so great, that at one point, I became completely obsessed by my desires to watch all of the videos that had been made by Sunette. I remember that the number of videos that Sunette made at the time, was a little bit above 900 and that I had made it a goal of mine to watch them all within the shortest time span as possible.

At one point however, my desires to watch all of the Desteni videos available, in order to get as much “spiritually” relevant information as possible became so obsessive that I was eventually forced out of my home by the police. Now, this may sound extreme but let me tell you what brought the police to intervene within this particular predicament I was in with regards to the Desteni material.

As I stated earlier, the act of watching the first few videos had opened a door within and as my mind where I became completely obsessed within the goal of watching all of the Desteni videos within the shortest time span possible. In fact, I wanted to watch the videos so badly, that I made it a goal of mine to watch in sequence, all of the 900 and + videos as in a marathon. What was particular within what followed was that my mind became like a sponge, where I metaphorically speaking, drank all of the information as if it was the fountain of spiritual/esoteric knowledge. It became so intense that I started doing what was suggested in the videos, as I went through phases where I first changed my voice as I was talking in order to talk “without any energetic consonances” as it was said within some of the videos, that we had been preprogramed by the annunaki to react to specific sounds within our verbal expression of ourselves which only furthered our enslavement to the mind. It was also suggested that this programming made by the Annunaki was so “perfect” that a solution hadn’t yet been discovered by what I believed was Jack – the dimensional being. My memory is not that clear as to the details of that fact, but I remember clearly that I brought it unto myself to find the solution in order to bypass this programming. What I thus found was to talk in monotonous fashion so that I wouldn’t reinforce this programming within myself and others as myself from within my relationship with others. So, I began speaking in monotonous tones with all those with whom I had a relationship with at the time – and I stuck to this application as long as I could, which was until the policemen intervened and brought me to the hospital in order to “check my mental stability”.

The reason why I was brought to the hospital was not exactly because of what I just explained, but it was mostly because of an even more extreme behaviour that I adopted as I watched, in sequence, as most videos that I could – or until the exact moment where the policemen removed me by force from my computer in order to place me in an ambulance. Now, the reason why the policemen forced me out of my home, was because the roommate that was living with me at the time, became extremely concerned about my wellbeing, as at one point, I was so into the idea of bypassing the programming made by the Reptilians, that I merged within my mind, personal beliefs towards what I was witnessing in the desteni videos. My mind became a bundled mess. At one point I actually believed that I had to metaphorically “restart my birth sequence” so as to purify myself from the programming made by the Reptilians. So, I followed this “idea” of restarting my birth sequence in order to purify myself whereas I went to the extremes of placing all of my belongings, which included all of my clothes, in garbage bags as I was under the influence that I had to get rid of all of that which made me relate to my past so as to start anew. So, what happened next was that I was completely naked in front of the computer screen as I was watching the remaining videos of Sunette, whereas I have placed all of my belongings in garbage bags and placed the garbage bags in the living room so as to eventually throw everything away.

As I was doing this, my roommate was seeing me do this all in front of his eyes – whereas I kept on telling him that he had to trust me, that I knew what I was doing – lol, to which I clearly wasn’t now in retrospect. So, seeing me behave in such an extreme fashion brought my roommate to call my mother for support. So my mother came and as she saw me naked in front of the computer screen, not being able to put some sense into me, she called the police wherein I was eventually brought to the hospital for treatment.

So, without going into too much more details about what happened next (as I just realised that I have written more than 4 pages already), let just say that this was my introduction to destiny and its material. Needless to say that I have since changed my views regarding my fear of what the reptilians did to us, Desteni, the process and its material, but this was actually what happened in my life as I first got introduced to Desteni.

So, I will leave it at that for now and will continue walking my process until my next assignment.

Edit: Concerning my 7 years to life process commitment, I decided on my own accord in the month of May 2012 that even if I was banned at the time from joining the Desteni community through the forum, because of my precarious past with Desteni, that I would take it unto myself to apply myself in the process even if I would not be supported in doing so. So I made the decision to commit myself to the 7 years to life process because I came under the realisation, as even if I had been banned many times in the past by Desteni because of abusive behaviours, that the Desteni message and principle was altogether the only source of practical information that was actually making common sense throughout all of the different idealogies/philosophies/books that I have read throughout all of my life. I came under that realisation because like I said, even after having been banned many times by Desteni, it’s message lingered within my mind to such an extent that I couldn’t pull myself out of the Desteni movement even as I was banned from the community, as I knew within the depths of myself, that everything that Desteni stood for was actually everything that I also stood for within myself, but that I had not yet allowed to become real within and as myself through consistent practical application. So, after continuously reading the Desteni materials throughout the time where I was banned – continuously watching videos of destonians and reading blogs – it became obvious to me that I had to apply myself at all cost, even if I was to be forever banned from the Desteni community, because it became absolutely obvious/clear to me that everything that Desteni stands for is exactly as that which Desteni claims, which is the stand for life as that which is best for all life – and that it is only me within and as what I have accepted and allwoed myeslf to be and become as the mind, that can change myself and stop my participation within the mind = no one else but myself will come and save me from myself. I actually didn’t even consider the possibility of rejoining the community when I first started with my 7 years to life blog, as all that mattered to me was to apply myself consistently through the 7 years to life process. I wanted to do this for myself as a clear and definitive statement of my commitment towards life as the physical as who we truly are, equal and one. So, I made the commitment with myself to, for the first time in my life, commit myself to myself and make a real and actual stand for life so as to live the new statement that I wanted to make of myself – which is to forever stand for that which is life and no more accept and allow myself to participate within the illusion as the mind.

Cheers,

Alex

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the energies of the universe to my own advantage as self-interest, within the perspective that the practice of meditation would empower me to use the energies of the cosmos, wherein I believed that the amount of energy available in the universe was limitless and was my/our birthright, wherein each and every one who would want to use this available and limitless source of energy would be free to do so at the condition of “knowing” how to obtain that limitless source of energy, wherein I believed that my meditation practices was me “knowing” how to obtain/gain that energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push/force myself within my mind, through the generation/creation of friction within and as my mind as the consumption of physicality – as the movement from the negative, to the neutral and to the positive energies – as I was motivated by the belief that energy was my true self/identity and that my goal in life was to accumulate as much energy as possible so that I could become a “special being” which would be able to “guide others” to our “true identity” and thus our freedom – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that energy is not our true identity, as energy is finite and can never stand the test of time within eternity/infinity, but that our true identity is the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as life as that which stands the test of time into eternity/infinity as substance as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise, from within the experiences of me having “high amounts of energy” within the perspective of me acquiring and gaining those high amounts of energy through meditative practices focussing solely on the act of acquiring/gaining as much energy as possible from the cosmos, that the method of acquiring those amounts of energy was always one and the same, meaning that the levels of high energy experienced was always the result/fruit of my constant and continuous friction with physicality as who I really am as life and not the result of me sucking energy from the cosmos as energy through my meditative practices – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was burning and burning and burning who I really was/am as physicality as life through me acquiring/building excessive amounts of energy, thus abusing myself as who I truly am as the physical, only so that I could experience myself as being “more than” who I really was/am as life which was a deception that I was deliberately participating in because of the “rewards” as “positive energy” that would be gained from such practices – all of which blinded me from the truth of myself as who I really was/am as physicality as all as one as equal as Life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to the common sense within and as me as the words of who I truly am as physicality which told me to STOP within the first experiences of me experiencing myself as having/generating/burning excessively high amounts of energy, from within which I believed myself as being/becoming a “purifier for existence”, within that the energy that I experienced within myself was so “extreme” that I started to believe that I was “special” and that the energy that was contained within and as my mind was able to “change the world” because of the perception of it being “pure” and thus, could “purify/change” the world, instead of realising that the only thing that this acquirement of high energy would do as consequence, was to further my enslavement within and as the mind as the mind consciousness system through the participation of the charging and discharging of positive energies within and as my mind and within and as this entire existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to become a “special being” because of the desire/motivation/want to make myself “special” in the eyes of others, wherein I would develop meditative practices that would generate as much friction as possible within my mind in order to generate as much positive energy as possible so that I could, through the veil of the accumulated energy as positivity, manipulate people into thinking/believing that I was “special” and “illuminated” and that I could change/save the world for the better through me changing the energies all around me through my mere presence alone, from within which I perceived myself has being able to bring about a new world through the purification of the energies all around me, because of the “purity of energies” that I was able to canalise through my meditation sessions, as I then saw myself as being a “great purifier” which purpose was to purify the energies of the ether so that positivity could reign within this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the truth of me was being blinded by my desires of becoming a “great purifier”, whereas my desires of attaining/getting/gathering as much positive energy as possible blinded me from what was right HERE in front of me as the actual real identity of myself, which was simply as being equal and one with the physical as all as one as equal as life – but that my desires of being/becoming “someone more than what was obviously here as myself” blinded me from the actual real living of myself and isolated myself further within the polarity/games of the mind, from within which my enslavement to consciousness was blissfully made ignorant to my awareness because of my stubbornness to see myself as a “special being” which was “enlightened” and thus was “more than others” because of the beLIEf that I was fundamentally a being made of energy/light, which was a mindfuck that I forced myself to believe because of wanting/desiring to make me “more than” what I perceived myself as being such as this “small” physical body/being.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “positive energies” that was my inner experience of myself after having spent numerous amounts of time practicing meditation for the sole purpose of gaining/acquiring/charging as most energy as possible, was generated in all ways through the continuous friction between what I believed myself as being a being of energy, and what I truly was as equality and oneness as the physicality, wherein the charging/generation of positive energy came through the friction continuously exercised through the consumption of physicality/my physical body which resulted in the high amounts of positive energy that was experienced within the confines of my mind alone – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experiences of myself as having high amounts of energy, only came through the friction as the burning of substance as physicality, all of which would only result in me burning myself down over and over and over again, until my physical body could not endure it anymore, whereas I would then eventually experience myself as being “depressive” and “physically feeble” because of having burned enormous quantities of substance for the sole benefit of my mind’s self-interest to which I then believed as being my own – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “who I am” was the fabric of the mind as energy, instead of realising that “who I am” has and will always be HERE as the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as Eternal Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind, within my meditative practices, to engulf the universe in order to “capture” as much energy as possible in order to “funnel” this energy towards and within my physical body, so that I could become a living example of a deity as the manifestation of a spiritual being coming from the high spheres of the spiritual hierarchies. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through me expressing myself within and as this “high energy accumulation”, that I was thus a living example of a deity instead of realising that who I was within and as the expression of myself as “high energy accumulation” was not the living example of a deity, but rather the living manifestation of a demonised entity as myself which only acted for the sole purpose of its self-interest as the experience of positivity as itself, instead of realising that the true living example of life is that of the physical expressing itself as the physical, without no participation within energy as positivity/neutrality/negativity as the mind, whereas the stopping of the energies as the mind comes through the practice of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that one can change from being enslaved to the systems of the mind as energy, to being freed as the expression of life which is equal and one as physicality as all as one as equal as Life = not energetically driven at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume physicality through the projection of myself within and as the universe/cosmos/creation as that of funnelling/condensing/charging the energies of the cosmos towards and within my human physical body, because of the desire to be a god unto myself and this world so that I could create a new world which would be better than the world that I then experienced as myself – wherein I desired changing the state of the world through the powers of my mind/energies alone, because of the belief that my origin was that of energy and that through me realigning myself with the origin of myself as energy, that I would/could thus be able to “manipulate/change” the energies of the world so that the energies of the cosmos could change the state of the world through me for the better, whereas I then perceived myself as being a medium of higher cosmic energies/consciousness that would/could change the energies of the world so that a new and better world could be made manifest on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my origin as the core of my being was that of energy, because of having read the testimonies of a man who had a near death experience from within which it was revealed to him that we were made of energies, instead of realising the common sense in the fact that who I was/am as the origin of myself could/can only be equal and one with all living beings instead of being “unique” and “special” and “different” such as the state of my mind when within the “high conglomerate” of energies within and as my mind alone, and thus that the common sense origin of myself as all as one as equal can only be the physical as substance as Life, Equal and One with all living beings and not the mind as positive, neutral and negative energy experiences of the physical.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “low energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which I absolutely do not want to experience any more.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to control others with my mind, whereas I would modify the frequencies of my mind through me practicing meditation within the goal of controlling my brainwaves, wherein I would when able to change the frequencies of my mind, control the reactions of others within the control of my energies – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was deceiving myself and others as myself through me manipulating my brainwaves in the goal of changing the perception others had on me through me changing their mind state as mirrors to the mind states I was busy manipulating/changing within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind/energies to control other’s mind/energies around me, wherein I would express myself through laughter and excessive reactions only so that I could influence the reactions of others when with my presence, whereas I would present myself as having “high energy” through me modifying the state of my mind when with the company of others, while when alone with myself I would experience myself as having “low energies”. The contrast between my behaviour when with others and my behaviour when with myself would mean that I was deceiving myself and others as myself through the false projection of myself when with others, in comparison to who I was when with myself alone, which were different expressions because of the desire to “control how others would think of me” that manifested within myself when with the company of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to control how others feel/think about me, wherein I would spend tremendous amounts of time in meditation in order to learn how to control my brainwave states so that I could control the brainwaves states of others, only because of the fear I had of knowing what others truly felt/thought about me – wherein I would practice meditation only so that I could learn techniques in how to control others through the mind, within the only goal/SOUL purpose to eventually be able to control others – all the while being driven by the fear of knowing what others truly thought/felt about myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the driving force behind my motivation to meditate was so that I could learn techniques to control others through the control of my mind state because of the fear of being “rejected” and unloved by others, instead of realising that effective self-trust and self-love is built and comes through self-honest self-investigation through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty wherein I apply myself to CHANGE so that my behaviour reflects what is best for all instead of what is best for only me as myself alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control the mind of others through the modification of my mind states wherein the control occurred within the mirroring of the behaviour/reflections of others towards my mind state, wherein I would project a dishonest image of myself because of the forced projection of myself to others as myself as something which I am/was not in fact as I was not in fact “high in energy” when with my company alone, but that this projection of myself as “high energy” was manufactured through the countless amounts of hours that I spend in meditating only so that I could reach levels of control of my own energies/frequencies within the only goal to eventually control others.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “low energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which I absolutely do not want to experience any more.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com