Today, I will do self-forgiveness statements regarding the cyst that I have talked about in my previous post here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be frustrated because of the fact that my cyst keeps on bleeding and that the doctors that I have seen so far, refuse to operate it for the moment because of having to wait for my scheduled appointment with the cyst specialist before the cyst to be operated upon.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience feelings of discomfort within and as myself as reactions towards my current situation with the pilonidal cyst, whereas the cyst keeps on spewing puss and blood and that I have to place a swab on it so as to control the spewing of blood and puss as best I can so that the blood and puss doesn’t spill to my underwear (being that the cyst is situated at the base of my coccyx) and pants, instead of remaining here within stability within the perspective that there is nothing else that I can do for the moment and that it is no use for me to constantly and continuously experience discomfort within and as myself as a constant preoccupation of my situation with the cyst as this is me participating within the worries of the mind instead of remaining HERE stable within and as myself as who I am here within the totality of my physical being and presence.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself into the concerns and worries of the mind, such as me worrying constantly and continuously about my present predicament with the cyst whereas it keeps on bleeding and spewing puss without it showing signs of healing – which only fuels my worries and preoccupations within and as the mind because of the fact that the problem remains and doesn’t heal even after about two months of almost constant bleeding and spewing of puss – instead of realising that I have done all in my power to heal the open wound of the cyst and that there is nothing else that I can personally do in order to heal/correct the wound as I have reached the limits of what I can personally do in this circumstance and that the best that I can do for the moment, is to stop myself from constantly and continuously participate within the worries of the mind regarding this problem and stabilise myself HERE within and as who I truly am as presence as the physical body, so as to stop myself from reinforcing the enslavement of the mind as worries and concern, and  remain here present within and as who I truly am as life as the physical – the problem will be fixed when I’ll have my scheduled appointment with the cyst specialist.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated within the personality of waiting for my cyst to be removed by the cyst specialist, wherein I have been tempted to move most of my responsibilities/commitments into the future because of being currently too concerned and worried about my cyst to apply myself within stopping myself from participating within the mind, whereas there is almost no place left for me to “think/act” about something else, such as my current process of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, because of the overwhelming preoccupation/concern within the fact that my pilonidal cyst keeps on bleeding no matter what I do to stop it from bleeding, instead of realising that the personality of “waiting for the medical appointment with the cyst specialist” is of absolutely no use to me as I am thus only allowing myself to procrastinate because of the self-justification as the excuse of “utilising the bleeding cyst” as a reason for me to skip some of my responsibilities towards myself because of the desire to wait for the cyst problem to be fixed/healed before allowing myself to concentrate on the other issues/responsibilities in my life – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that as long as I can control the cyst from spewing too much blood or puss, that I can still participate within my responsibilities of writing myself to freedom through the use of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, exactly as how I have been doing for the past few months or ever since the problem with my cyst first started.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine the worst of scenarios concerning my bleeding cyst, within me thinking/believing that the cyst specialist won’t be able to fix the problem as all I have heard from the doctors so far regarding my cyst, is that they can do nothing about it for the moment whereas I have to wait for the cyst specialist in order to see/determine if I do in fact need a small operation in order to clean the wound and to finally close it so as for it to finally stop spewing blood and puss, instead of realising that as long as I have not yet met the cyst specialist, that there is no use for me to imagine the worst of scenarios as this is not assisting and supporting me within and as my process.

 

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind as worrying and concerning myself for things which I cannot control, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as worrying and concerning myself for things which are out of my control, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the thusly generated friction and consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy and in fact make the situation worse – to which I am ultimately not of energy, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “worrying and concerning myself for things which I can’t control” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of worry and concern, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of worry and concern, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

 

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

ImageOk, today I will do a special entry in my blog wherein I will talk about what is bothering me at this current date and time.

Now, in one of my post that I wrote about 3 weeks ago, I talked about a physical issue that i have been having for what has now been about 2 months. The physical problem that I then talked about concerned a cyst that is located on the base of my vertebrae, just next to the coccyx. I have been having this cyst for more than that time however, as it first appeared in about the beginning of the year 2012. It first appeared as a bump that was near my coccyx and was a slightly bothering me in the beginning stages where I had difficulties in sitting down because of the fact that i felt sensations of pain as I was pressing my body on top of the cyst.

So, like I said, at first the cyst didn’t bother me that much, as I kind of found ways to live with the “problem” and I actually thought that it would disappear by itself with time. However, the problem became to appear as being a bit more serious after a few months passed, wherein the cyst was still there and where I still had problems when sitting down. Fortunately, I had regular visits at the hospital throughout that time, where I regularly met with a nurse that has been assigned to me to see if I respect the taking of my medication in order to treat my “bipolar” predicament ( i won’t call it a disease as I do not see it as such ). So, when I met my nurse, I told him about the problem  that I have been having with my cyst in the region of my coccyx. He had a look at the cyst and was a bit concerned, as he believed it to be a pilonidal cyst – which is a problem that usually occurs with people who spend prolonged time in the sitting position for the purpose of work. So, he asked me if it was a problem to me, to which I told him that I could live with it. So, we didn’t make much of the situation and believed that it didn’t need any further auscultation by a doctor.

So, i went about my business without being too much concerned about the “big pimple” that was on my ass.

However, about two months back, within the whereabouts of mid april, the cyst busted open whereas a continuous flow of puss and blood started to flow out of the pimple. I didn’t notice the blood and puss at first because of the fact that I had a lot of hair near my coccyx area whereas the hair kind of sponged all of the blood and puss into making a kind of “barrier” whereas the hair in the vicinity of the cyst became infused with small quantities of puss and blood and dried up so as to make a kind of natural … how do you call it… ( i do not know the english term for what i am trying to express. I went and have a look at an online french to english dictionary site in order to find the word that i am looking for but didn’t find it) … you know, the natural thing that happens when someone gets a cut and then the cut dries up with blood in order to protect the cut while the body heals it – well it kind of made that same thing, but with the hair surrounding the cyst opening acting like a natural “protector”. So, I didn’t notice that the wound was still open because of what I just tried to explain, being that the hair formed a kind of natural protective barrier so that the wound would heal.

The problem occurred however, when in the middle of the month of may, where I removed the “sticky and dried-up hair” that surrounded the area where the cyst used to be. So, by me removing the hair that was around the wound where the cyst had been, I kind of opened up the flood gates, as ever since then, the wound kept on spewing constant blood and puss. So, i put a cotton swab and some tape around the opening so as to protect my underwear from the blood and puss that was constantly spewing out of the wound – thinking that it would subdue over time and that it would eventually heal itself.

This was not what happened however, as when I checked to see if the wound would have healed, the opening was still there and blood and puss was still spewing out of the wound for weeks on end. So, at the beginning of this month, I decided to go to the clinic for the doctor to have a look at the situation. Now, at the time where I went to the clinic, the blood and puss kind of stopped for a moment, and the wound didn’t look that bad from the perspective of the fact that the blood and puss wasn’t spewing from the wound that much. So, when the doctor saw the wound, he said that he would have to give me medication and a special ointment that I was asked to put on the wound to see if that would be necessary for it to heal. So, I took the prescribed medication and the ointment and applied it for about a week.

During that time, the blood and puss kind of stopped from spewing out of the open wound so that I thought that the problem was finally over with. However, the fact that the wound was still open and that it hadn’t yet closed kind of concerned me.

About a week after I had applied the ointment and took the medication – which was prescribed for only a week by the way – the blood and puss started to flow out of the wound again. This time, I decided to go to the hospital in order to get it fixed once and for all. So, I went to the hospital to get it checked.

After waiting about 4 hours at the urgency room, the doctor finally got to see me. So, when he saw me, I explained the problem to him after which he had a look at the situation. He told me that he would probably have to operate the wound – meaning that he would have to open the wound up further by using a scalpel in order for him to remove all of the “bad stuff” within the wound which was causing the blood and puss to constantly flow out of the wound (and at the same time to finally close the open wound so that I could eventually stop having to put a cotton swab in my underwear so as to make sure that the blood and puss wouldn’t spill into my underwear) The problem with the wound at the time of my check-up however, was that it kind of appeared as if it was in it’s healing stage, where no blood and puss was coming out of the wound. So, because of the fact that blood and puss wasn’t getting out of the wound, the doctor decided that he wouldn’t operate and that he would schedule an appointment with another doctor specialised in chirurgic so as to see if i needed an operation after all – as he was doubtful that my situation needed an operation as no blood and puss was coming out of the wound. He scheduled the appointment for the 10th of July.

So, believing that i was finally in the right direction in regards to my wound, I went home thinking that I would have to patiently wait for the 10th of July for my appointment with the doctor. However, the problem resurfaced today as after i took my shower, I noticed that blood was coming out of the wound. So, I pressed within the area of the wound so as to see if more blood woud spew over and as a matter of fact, enormous quantities of blood and puss started to spew over again from the wound.

This situation is bothering me because the blood and puss won’t stop coming out of the wound. I have placed a cotton swab and some Scott’s paper around the area of the wound in order to protect my underwear and shorts from the blood and puss that spewed over but alas, there is so much blood and puss that is coming out of the wound that even the cotton swab and Scott’s paper don’t hold it in. Now I have blood over my underwear and I think that I’ll have to go to the hospital again, even if before my scheduled appointment, in order to have an emergency operation on it. Surely now that the blood and puss is coming out of the wound, that the doctor will see the urgency in the situation and will operate me in the minute as I am tired of having to worry about this wound almost everyday.

So, i will end this blog entry here and will go to the hospital right away as I want this problem to be over with, once and for all!!!

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to my  “pt” because of the concern of protecting my own self-interest in not taking the “mn” that he “pd” to me, whereas the act of me acting upon my self-interest of not taking the “mn” is not a “bad” thing as it is me taking a stand for what I accept and allow myself to ingest/take within my human physical body whereas I am the authority of me in my world and the fact of me experiencing negative experiences while taking the “mn”, such as the feeling of drowsiness/comatose/sleepiness that overcomes me when I do take the “mn”, is enough for me to know that the substance that my  “pt” has “pd” to me in order to treat my condition, is not good for me – within which I have decided not to take the “mn” “pd” to me by my  “pt” because of those negative effects within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience negative energies within and as myself when I do take the “mn”, whereas I experience the feelings/sensations of drowsiness/sleepiness/comatose/zombie-like/confusion within myself because of the unconscious relationship as the chemical responses that my mind exercises through the intake of the “mn”, as my mind is still unconsciously manipulated by such substances so as to change the chemical responses within the activities of my brain, instead of stopping such unconscious reactions through me going into the depths of my mind constructs and stop those reactions through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to stop myself from reacting within the unconscious chemical reactions which generates those negative energetic experiences that operates whenever I do take the “mn”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to unconsciously/subconsciously react through and as the modified chemical responses within and as my brain whenever I do take the “mn”, whereas I believe/perceive myself as being powerless within the fact that I seemingly do not have control of the chemical responses/reactions that operates within my brain as I take the “mn”, since those responses/reactions operates within the depths of my unconscious/subconscious mind, instead of realising that I do have power and control over the chemical reactions/responses that occurs within and as my brain when I take the “mn”, because of being the creator of everything as myself, which includes the reactions/responses that are operated within and as all of the different layers of mind, such as the unconscious, subconscious and conscious mind, and that in order for me to change/stop the chemical reactions that operates within the depths of my unconscious and subconscious minds, that I have to work/look even deeper within myself as what I have unconsciously accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation, writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uneasy within myself when I answered the question that my “ne” asked me in orer to know if I did/do take my “mn”, whereas I felt uneasy/uncomfortable within myself because of me lying to the “ne” through me saying that I did/do take the “mn” while this was/is false – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about myself because of having lied to my “ne”, whereas I experienced a dichotomy as a friction within myself when I lied to my “ne” because of not being honest with the “ne” as myself and thus, experienced myself as being “dishonoured” because of allowing myself to lie to the “ne”, even if I knew that I had no other choice in the matter, as to tell the truth to my “ne” regarding the fact that I do not take the “mn” would only attract more problems for me to face with the “ml” corps/profession, as I have been issued a “ct” “or” to take my “mn” at the end of last year, whereas if I do not take the “mn” that I would have to face the dire consequence that they have reserved for me, which is to go back to the “hl” for treatment/containment, to which I do not want to happen to me. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of me lying to my “ne” is me taking a stand for myself through the statement that I do not need the “mn” in order to “heal” me, as I am absolutely confident in being able to “heal” me through my own personal application, such as through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, whereas the dependency to the “mn” to “heal me” is only a “crutch” that doesn’t in fact “change/heal” me, but only makes me “worse” within the fact that the “mn” creates a dependency to an outside source other than myself in order to “heal/save” me, wherein nothing outside of myself will/can save/heal me, as I am the only one who created this condition as being bipolar and that I alone can change/stop this condition within myself through me not accepting and/or allowing myself to participate within energies of the mind – no “mn” necessary/allowed as this would be me stating that I cannot change/stop me from participating within the energies of the mind, which is absolutely ludicrous as I am the creator of who and what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and because of that, that I can create a new me which isn’t addicted to energy through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application and thus become a living example that proves to others as myself that one can change oneself without the aid of “mn” in order to become that which is best for all, as that which is best for all is best for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge/spite/blame the “pt”, the “ne” and the “ml” corps/profession for trying/attempting to force myself to take my “mn” though coercion, as when I was at the “hl”, the “ne”s, guards and “pt” used physical force/abuse when they first attempted to give me the “mn” that I refused to take, whereas they physically attached me to a bed through abusing/forcing my physical body to be in a position where I would be powerless while they “id” within my body the “”ml”” substances that they obliged me to take even if without my consent. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge against the “pt”s, “ne”s and “”ml”” corps for having abused me when I was staying at the “hl” last year, where I was held within seclusion for days after days because of my refusal to take the “mn” that they wanted/were adamant for me to take.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to detest the “hl” and the “ml” corps because of the bad experiences of abuse that I experienced when I was held “captive” within my stay at the “hl” last year, instead of realising that I am responsible for the bad experiences that I had at the “hl” through my simple acceptance and allowance of such a behaviour coming from the authority figures of this world, whereas I accept and allow myself to abuse and control those who are subservient to my power whenever I am placed in a powerful position, such as when I play games where I am winning, as I then accept and allow myself to treat others as being “less than me” in exactly the same way as what I was treated like when I was staying at the “hl”. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I do the exact same thing as those who had abused me when I was in the “hl” when I am placed in a powerful position with another, while I maybe do not use such physical abuse as I was the “victim” of when I was at the “hl”, but using abuse nonetheless within my expression/behaviour/non-verbal behaviour/attitude towards those who are not in a powerful position, such as those who are “losing” within games that I participate in with others – such as the mind games that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with others, wherein the price is the energy that one can steal/gain from another within mind games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being a victim of the “ml” corps, because of my obligation by “ct” “or” to take the “mn” that has been “pd” to me by my “pt”, instead of realising that I am the creator of that situation wherein because of my acceptances and allowances in me participating in games of winners and losers, that I thus automatically accept and allow such experiences as those of being seen as a “victim” of another’s will and that for me to stop myself from those acceptances and allowances within myself, that I have to apply the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so that to make sure that I do not accept and allow myself to participate within such games where I feed the system of abuse as the system of the world, and bring about a new system that stands for what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for LIFE, Equal and One with all living beings.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the game of power as the gain/loss of energy that I play with other human beings, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of power, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “feeling powerful or a victim” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of being a victim to another’s will/or, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of powerlessness, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Today I went to the clinic in order to check on a problem that i’ve been having with my physical body for about a week or so. The problem i’ve been having concerned a bursted pimple which is located at the base of my spinal colomn, just next to the coccyx. Since about a week or so, the pimple bursted and there’s been a liquid consisting of puss and blood which have been seaming out of it ever since. The liquid flows constantly without any form of suture around the area of the wound, making it an open wound, and I have to continuously replace a cotton swab just to make it so that the liquid doesn’t stain my underwear. It is rather uncomfortable since I have to think about the ways that i sit whenever i am sitting down, in order to make sure that the cotton swab doesn’t move even if i have placed gummed paper around the cotton swab.

As I was sitting down waiting for the doctor to call my name, I was wondering on the gravity of my situation – not thinking that it was grave per say, but just wondering if it would mean that I would need an intervention such as an operation in order to remove the abscess completely. I have surfed the net prior to the visit at the clinic in order to get some information on my wound. There I found out that this type of wound, especially if it remains open, generally need an operation in order to remove whatever is causing the puss to form from within the wound itself. Thus, the necessity of an operation where a doctor would open the abscess, remove the material that is causing the formation of puss and then put a mesh of some sorts in order to make sure that the puss wouldn’t come out.

So, i was sitting down wondering about all this stuff when I finally got to see the doctor – after having waited for about an hour before being served because of a mistake that the doctor made concerning my family name ( he believed that my appointment had been cancelled because there had been a mistake in my appointment where it was believed that my sister was the one who was supposed to meet the doctor and not me… ). Whithin my appointment with the doctor, he determined that it would be best for me to take on a cream and some medication in order to see if they could heal my abscess. He told me that this type of situation would generally mean an operation, but that before we reached that conclusion, that it would be best for me to take a medication and a cream to see if it could heal the wound. After about a month or so, if the abscess is still there after having taken this method of treatment, then I would need to consider having an operation. The doctor warned me though that if I would need an operation, that it would mean that I would have to wait about 6 months for the wound to close. So right now, the viable solution is the medication and the cream he prescribed to me. I will see in about a month or so if I still need a medical intervention. For now though, I will use the treatment that the doctor suggested to me and hope that it will be enough to heal the wound.

Self-forgiveness on the harm done towards my physical body:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through the usage of substances which are harmfull to my physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to eat sugar in great quantity, not realising that sugar is harmfull for my physical body – therefore, i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the pleasure as the energetic addiction/temptation towards and within the substance abuse of sugar, only so that I may experience a positive energetic experience within myself without considering the harm that the substance such as sugar creates within and as the physicality of and as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse substances such as smoking mariuana, only so that i could experience the energetic high that comes with the intake of that substance, not realising that through me taking on that substance, I allow myself to participate within energetic temptations/highs only so that i could experience the positive energy as the friction generated within and as the mind – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that by me using substances such as mariuana, i allow myself to participate within the nature of the mind as energy and through this, I allow myself to continue on with the abuse of phisicality as life for the expence of mind generated possessions such as the positive entity that is generated through the intake of marijuana, which only lasts for a moment while the damage done to my physical body lasts longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through me taking on substances such as alcool only because of the addiction that I have generated within myself as the temptations of the mind, to within that temptation only seek personal interests/goals of experiencing an energetic experience such as the feeling of being drunk, which is a disgrace and a deliberate attempt at harming my physical body – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that alcool is harming my physical body and that as such, is to be forever forbidden for it allows the abuse of the physical as life to continue with my allowed participation in the intake of alcool.

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through the peer pressure that is generated whenever i am within a situation where I am asked to take on such abusive substances as alcool only so that I may “fit in” with the group – within this, i forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bend in front of peer pressure whenever I am within a situation of abuse towards the physical body, where from within which I would take on the abusive substance such as alcool only so that I would “fit in” with the group.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to arm my physical body through me taking on excessive amounts of sugar even if my body is telling me to STOP within the awareness that sugar is harming my physical body – within this, i forgive mysefl that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind myself from the common sensical reaction/words as the body telling me through pains of all sorts, that the abusive substance such as sugar is harming my physical body and through this, selecting to not listen to my physical body at the expense of the “high” that is awaiting me through the substance abuse of sugar.

I fogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately harm my physical body through the smoking of cigarettes because of the blind addiction towards nicotine which is an absolute harm towards my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek pleasures of the mind while being in total disrespect for my physical body, through me seeking highs from the intake of abusive substances such as marijuana rather than seeking to ground myself within and as the reality of me as the physical body as life – through the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application – within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to “wait for things to get worse” before I decide to actually change in order to do what is best for all through me stopping my participation within the games of polarity as the mind, as the games of winners and losers and re-align myself to and towards the true nature of me as the physical as life as one and equal to all living biengs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as the human physical body to be and become a disgrace to and towards life through me accepting and allowing such participation such as the intake of harmfull substances only so that I can reach new energetic highs at the expense of my physical body – within this, i forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the hights as the energetic experiences that i seek to have only hurts the physicality as me through the constant and continuous consumption of physicality as the energetic highs that I experience within and as my mind.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire for abusive substances” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as “I want sugar/marijuana/alcohol/abusive substances”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “desire” through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com