I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self-responsibility because of having fallen for the trap of smoking pot again, even if I know that smoking pot only reinforces the control of the mind over myself, because of having accepted and allowed myself to be controlled by my desires of “wanting to have some fun” wherein I have abdicated my self-responsibility towards myself and others as myself, only because of having allowed the desire to “have some fun” have precedence over my will to stop myself from entertaining the constructs of the mind, such as the “inner chatter” and “sense of relaxation” that pot enables me to experience within myself – instead of stopping myself from smoking pot and from participating within the constructs of the mind that pot enables, through the application of breathing, so as to return to who I am here whenever I sense the desire of smoking pot rise again within my mind, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the “slave of the mind” so that I realise myself as who I truly am as the physical as life, which is one and equal with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about smoking pot when I have nothing to do, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the idea/thought of smoking pot whenever I find myself unoccupied, because of the still present desire of “having some fun within my own mind”, rather than stopping myself from participating within the mind as desire, through the application of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to stop myself from repeating the same pattern of self-abuse such as the pattern of smoking pot, on an on and off pattern, and so that I can change from the abusive nature that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, so that I release myself from the stronghold of the mind and realise myself as life as one as all as the physical HERE, instead of remaining THERE within the patterns of abuse of the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for smoking pot, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain negative thoughts about myself because of having allowed myself to smoke pot again, thereby participating within the polarity manifestation as the mind, rather than stopping myself from participating within the polarity as the mind through the application of writing, breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to really change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and rebirth myself as life as the physical, so that I can really start living and change the abusive nature that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as humanity, and rebirth ourselves as life, one and equal with all living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty for stealing the pot of my sister’s boyfriend, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish my sense of self within my mind, through the awareness of the fact that my sister’s boyfriend knows that I have stolen his pot for personal use, knowledge which have brought me to seek to evade and feel uncomfortable within the presence of my sister’s boyfriend – instead of stopping myself from participating within the constructs of the mind as the “feelings” and “emotions” that keeps me locked within the confines of the abusive mind, rather than stopping myself from participating within the constructs of the mind such as feelings and emotions, through the use of the tools of writing, so as to see myself for who I am within my own mind, breathing so as to bring myself back to who I truly am HERE as life as the physical, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the slave of the mind, to who I truly am as the creator and created as the physical as life, where no mind is necessary to exist.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by my friend’s abusive behaviour of smoking pot, wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to “fall back” within an abusive nature towards and within myself through me smoking pot again – instead of stopping myself from smoking pot, through the awareness of the fact that smoking pot never has led me anywhere that is constructive, having always experienced nothing but deception through smoking pot – and that if I am to find myself entertaining the desire of smoking pot again, that I am to immediately apply the tools of breathing, so as to stop myself from entertaining the desires of smoking pot, writing so as to see myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become within the mind, self-forgiveness so as to release myself from the points which keeps me locked within my own mind, self-honesty so as to reveal myself to myself without hiding anything from myself and self-corrective application so as to change myself from what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, so that I can rebirth myself as life as the physical, where no mind is necessary in order to function/live within this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the feelings that I have associated with the act of smoking pot, such as the feeling of “vastness” and “openness” that I have deluded myself into having through the act of smoking pot, and that if I am to find myself entertaining thoughts and ideas about smoking pot again, that I am to immediately stop myself from participating within those thoughts, through the tools of breathing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to change what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the abusive nature of the mind, and eventually rebirth myself as life where no mind is necessary.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from participating within the act of smoking pot through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to smoke pot, that I will never get anywhere in life, as it has been clearly shown to me, throughout my numerous experiences of smoking pot in the past, that pot leads to nowhere, as the only place that pot leads to is greater confusion and greater states of self-abuse.

 

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within the polarity manifestation of the mind through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to be controlled by my mind, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the friction and consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy and in fact make the situation worse – to which I am ultimately not of energy, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

 

I commit myself to stop my participation within energetically charged experiences through me, whenever I experience the movements of positive or negative energies within me, immediately stop such participations through the BREATH/BREATHING and place myself HERE within and as the physicality as me. If an opportunity to self-forgive arises, I apply self-forgiveness aloud or within myself. I remind myself that the energetically charged experience/thought/feeling/emotion is a pattern that I no longer want to participate in and as the mind.

 

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “wanting to participate within the act of smoking pot” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “pot addict”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

 

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the “pot dependant character”, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

 

 

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

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Today, for the second day of my field trip to Toronto, me and my friend went to visit the waterfalls at Niagara Falls, Ontario Canada. We had to leave Toronto first in order to reach the town of Niagara Falls which was located at about 2 hours drive from Toronto. So, we spent the entire afternoon driving towards the Water Falls, as we had to first drive through an interstate which was unfortunately filled with traffic, as we were Friday and that many Torontonians and Ontarians had decided to go in the same direction that we were going.

So, I drove all throughout the afternoon, while my friend sometimes entertained me and sometimes slept as I was driving. We had planned on first finding a motel in order to sleep for the night, as in our planning of our trip to Toronto and Niaraga Falls, we hadn’t reserved rooms in hotels or motels, as we thought that we would easily find places to sleep within the days and nights that we planned on staying there. Unfortunately for us, what we thought would be easy turned out to be difficult, as we had a hard time finding a cheap motel as we were driving towards Niaraga Falls. Our initial plan was to find a cheap motel room between the cities of Toronto and Niagara Falls, however, this turned out to be more difficult than we first thought as most of the motels and hotels we stopped at, as we were driving to Niaraga Falls, turned out to be very expensive or had no vacancy. Considering the difficulties we had in finding a cheap motel room, as we were reaching the city of Niaraga Falls we thought that our best bet would be for us to first go and visit the water falls at the city, and then, when night would come, that we would go back to a city near Toronto where we saw a cheap vacant motel which priced for the price of 89$ for a night. However, that would mean that we would have to drive more than 100 km back towards the city of Toronto in order to stay at the cheap motel that we saw as we were driving from Toronto to the city of Niaraga Falls. This seemed our best solution as we were reaching the city of Niagara Falls, since we hadn’t found any motel in our liking since we passed the cheap motel that we saw as we were exiting the busy city of Toronto, Canada.

 

So, that is what we thought of doing as we were reaching the city of Niagara Falls, since we hadn’t found an affordable or a vacant motel since passing by the cheap motel that we saw at a city which was about 110 km away from Niagara Falls. As you can imagine, this wasn’t a very suitable solution since we would have to drive 110 km back to where we left when the night would fall in the city of Niagara Falls. That seemed our best solution at the point we were at when we were at about 15km away from the city of Niagara Falls since we hadn’t found an affordable motel near the city.

Fortunately, to our surprise, once we reached about 25 km away from the city of Niagara Falls, we saw next to the interstate, a cheap motel which advertised prices as low as 59$ plus tax for one night stay. So, we stopped at that motel in order to see if there was a vacant room for the night. Luckily for us, there was vacancy for more than one room left. So, we decided to rent the room for the night. Since we needed 2 bedrooms and air conditioned – temperatures went as high as 34 degrees Celsius plus humidity on that particular day -, the price went to 124$ tax included. Even if that was a bit expensive, we decided to take the room for the night, as we were out of resources other than the other option to drive back to the city near the city of Toronto after the day at Niagara Falls, which now didn’t seem as being a good idea for us. So, we booked for the night and went for the city of Niagara Falls.

 

Once arrived at the city, we went to visit the majestic Falls of Niagara. The temperature was scorching hot that day, as I mentioned that with the humidity factor, the temperature could reach as high as 45 degrees Celsius. So, it wasn’t the best of times to visit the falls, however, we had no other choices as this was our only day where we could visit the falls.

 

So, we spent the afternoon walking near the waterfalls and taking pictures. There were a lot of tourists from all over the world on that day, so much so that we had a hard time walking in a straight line, as we had to walk around a bunch of tourists who, like us, were admiring the view of the waterfalls and taking pictures.

The problem for me started near the end of the day, as my friend decided to smoke some pot. Even if this is against what I stand for, I am still within the phase where I allow my friends to take whatever they want to take, even if I do not stand for it. I have already told some of them that I would not smoke pot any longer, but considering that some of them have not made the same decision I did in regards to pot, I am still allowing myself to spend time with those who smoke pot, even if I should not do so, as it now goes against what I stand for.

 

So, I allowed him to smoke pot even if I felt uncomfortable around him for doing so. So, after he smoked his pot, his behaviour started to change, as he became very much agitated. He started to make fun of the tourists who were around us and even went as far as nagging some of them, whereas he almost got himself into a fight. As I was witnessing his behaviour, all sorts of reactions went through me, whereas I was mostly mad at myself for still hanging around with a person who would act in such an uncivilised fashion. I felt mad about myself for not stopping myself from hanging around with such people, as I was thus clearly witnessing just how disrupting it is to be influenced by marijuana. I mostly felt ashamed of my “friend” and wanted to stay as far from him as possible, as I didn’t want to be seen near him as he was behaving recklessly and obnoxiously towards myself and others all around us. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing arrogantly at myself and at others as he was completely possessed by his infatuated mind within the effects of marijuana. I told him that I didn’t want to take part in his follies but as we were walking back to the car, he was constantly getting into “my face” through him walking and prancing obnoxiously around me so as to nag and bother me more, as he clearly saw that I was mad at him for behaving in such a childish manner. I was so infuriated with him for his childish behaviour that I almost wanted to punch him. Fortunately, I didn’t but I wanted to as I was boiling within myself for allowing such behaviour within my presence.

 

So, it was within that mindset that we went back to the car, and drove back to the motel room which was situated at about 15 km away from the city of Niagara Falls. His obnoxious behaviour didn’t stop when we were back at the motel room unfortunately. The problem with this situation was that I didn’t allow myself to talk to him, as he was unreceptive and completely lost within his mind possession, infatuated within the effects of marijuana. It was not that I didn’t want to talk to him, per say, but it was more that i couldn’t think straight as I was boiling within myself for being on the receiving end of his follies. I was wishing that I hadn’t gone to this field trip with him, as he was nagging and nagging me within his “high”. Through seeing that I was “mad” at him and not talking to him, he laughed even more at me and tried the best he could to make me feel uncomfortable.

 

So, at a point where I just couldn’t take it any longer, I screamed at him and told him that I would not allow myself to spend more time with him if he would continue taking pot when we would be back home after our field trip. I told him that by me accepting and allowing him to smoke pot in my company, that I was thus not being respectful unto myself and to what I am standing for. Moreover, I told him that I decided that I would not be his friend any longer if he were to continue smoking pot in my company.

 

So, after seeing me “explode” within my expression, meaning that I radically opened myself up within the act of talking to him – after having kept all of my frustration within myself throughout all of the evening -, he excused himself for his behaviour and promised me that he would stop being so obnoxious towards me from now on. So, he finally silenced himself and eventually went to sleep while I watched television, happy for having finally told him what I thought about the situation.

 

I will do self-forgiveness on this event in my next blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire experiencing the “emotional high” that comes from smoking pot, whereas I would experience an emotional high within and as my mind through the act of smoking pot, not realising that prior to the desire of smoking pot, the act of experiencing an high would bring about an experience of a “low” right after the moment where the experience of the “high” would be experienced, thus making me bounce around within and as my mind within the energetic experiences of highs and lows, instead of stopping such participations within and as the mind, through me applying the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, to stop myself from participating within the act of smoking pot so as to stop behaving within self-interest alone and start behaving as what is best for all life through me remaining HERE stable within and as the BREATH as myself in self-honesty, where no pot is necessary for me to experience myself as who I truly am as the BREATH as LIFE as the PHYSICAL. I now see/understand/realise the mind polarity games that I accept and allow myself to participate within as the mind whenever I accept and allow myself to smoke pot, wherein the experiences coming from such act is never “mystical” or “special” or “more than who I am” for the experience of smoking pot is only an experience that exists within the confines of the mind and never is a true/honest representation of who I really am, for only thus reflecting on the disease as the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions while who I am as life as the physical, gets abused through such acts of selfish unawareness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that smoking pot is not an act of “mystical properties” or of “connection with an higher self” as the effects of smoking pot is never the reflection of reaching a domain of higher spiritual awareness, such as the domain where I believed myself to participate within as the “connection with an higher self” when I allowed myself to smoke pot, but is rather an act of dishonesty through me accepting and allowing myself to reinforce the separation further between who I am as the physical as LIFE which requires NO REFLECTION/THOUGHTS/EMOTIONS, all of which being consequential outflows of smoking pot – and with who I am as EGO as the mind as that which divide who I am as life as all as one as equal, for the sole purpose of self-interest and the living of self-interested dreams/desires/needs which are only of the mind alone and  not of LIFE as acts which are for LIFE are acts which are best for all life as one as all as equal, wherein the act of smoking pot only furthers the disempowerment of self towards the mind where no directive principle exists.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire smoking pot, because of the lingering thought/idea/emotion that such an experience would be beneficial for me, because of only thus seeing/perceiving the experience from within the starting point of self-interest as the desire to experience myself as being “more than” who I truly am – which is self-dishonest because of the fact that all experience of myself as through the energetic highs of taking drugs such as pot, will bring about the experience of myself as the energetic lows and through such, would only enslave me deeper within the depths of the polarity games of the mind through my own accepted and allowed participation within the mind as the highs and lows as the flux of the experience of myself as an energetic entity – instead of realising the common sense within the fact that who I really am is not of the mind, but is of the physical as the physical is life as it is common sense to realise that all of that which is one and equal with all living beings, is the physical as life – not the mind, which is rather the illusion of life as the thoughts/ideas/emotions/feelings which are all illusions that keeps us deluded and enslaved to the interpretations of the mind towards reality as the physical, rather than being equal and one with the physical as life, as what it should have been from the beginning.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to smoke pot” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to experience the highs of smoking pot”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring to be more than who I truly am as the physical, through the use of drugs such as pot/marijuana, thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com