I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a lonely character, where I become depressed through being alone, whereas I experience negative energy within and as myself because of not having anyone with whom I can exchange/communicate with but my own “consciousness”/mind – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the activity of communicating within my own mind/consciousness, wherein I have created a character within and as my mind from within which I participate within the exchange of energies between the “me” character and the “consciousness” character, through me participating within the acts of “communicating” with a character that I have created within my mind such as the “consciousness” character, with whom I communicate with whenever I am alone wherein I have created an invisible character such as the consciousness character in order to keep me “entertained” within and as myself, through the exchange of energies with another “entity” as the “consciousness” character so that I do not “feel” lonely with myself, so as to always have the “illusion” of “being with someone” within the act of “exchanging/communicating” with another “being” than myself – even if that “being” is created within my own mind, such as the “consciousness” character – so as to remove me from the feeling of being “lonely” so that I can keep myself within “positive energy” so as to not feel depressed for being alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “lonely” within and as myself, such as the feeling of negatively charged energies, whenever I experience myself “alone” with no presence of a physical entity to communicate/exchange thoughts with – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so depressed within myself for the fact of being alone with myself, that I have gone to the extreme of creating an “invisible character” for me to communicate with such as the “consciousness character”, whenever I am “alone with myself” such as when I find myself with no other physical entity other than myself, whereas I have created an illusionary entity within my own mind from within which I have separated myself from, only so that I can/could maintain the illusion/delusion that I am not “alone” with myself, such as the creation of a “consciousness entity” through the act of separating myself as different compartments within my own mind, from where one compartment acts as “another being than myself” and the other compartment acts as myself within my own mind, so that I can entertain myself within the illusion/delusion of communicating with another being when another real physical being is not present within my company – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me creating a consciousness character within my own mind, from within which I experience myself communicating with “another entity” as “another compartment” within my own mind, that I have thus created a separation within my own mind which only furthers the enslavement of the mind within the self-interest of “being with someone other than myself at all cost”, because of not appreciating being left alone with myself, with no other physical/real entity to communicate/share intimate relationship with – instead of realising that the intimacy that I am looking/aiming for, is the self-intimacy that comes from the tools of writing so as to build self-trust through self-investigation which will allow me to finally understand myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to become within the separation of myself which feeds the mind consciousness system as the feeling of loneliness/yearning whenever I am alone with myself, rather than realising that I am and always will be alone within and as myself and that as long as I don’t experience silence as stability within myself within all circumstances, that I am thus still controlled/directed by the mind, and that it is up to me to stop such control/participation with the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty, self-corrective application and breathing, so as to stop/interrupt my participation within the emotions of loneliness within the mind, and re-stabilise myself as who I am HERE within and as stability as the physical as life as equal and one with all living beings, so as to finally become a responsible human being in this world and bring about real CHANGE so as to bring about a world which is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yearn to be with someone other than myself alone, because of the feeling of loneliness and boredom that I experience within and as myself whenever I find myself alone for a too long period of time, whereas I accumulate and accumulate and accumulate the negatively charged energies which are related to me being alone with myself, so much so as to generate depression within and as myself from within which the will to live becomes less and less and less present because of the gradually overwhelming feeling of the negatively charged energies as loneliness – instead of me stopping myself from building and building and building and accumulating and accumulating and accumulating negatively charged energies whenever I find myself alone with myself and through time, through the simple tools of stopping the negative reactions with myself through the act of BREATHING so as to interrupt the process of accumulating negatively charged energies and re-focus my attention to who and what I am as the physical as HERE within and as the breath as me, wherein no negative or positive energies remain, but silence as stability as who I truly am remain HERE within and as stability as the physical as life as who I truly am within the principle of oneness and equality as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to build and build and build and accumulate and accumulate and accumulate positively charged energies whenever I find myself within the presence of another physical being, and thus to have allowed myself to participate within the polarities of the mind, from within which I thus automatically and instantaneously accept and allow myself to participate within the accumulation of negatively charged energies whenever I find myself alone with myself, instead of stopping such participation within the polarities of the mind where I experience positively charged energies as myself whenever I am with another physical entity and where I experience negatively charged energies as myself whenever I am not with another physical entity, through the use of BREATHING so as to interrupt the experiences of the accumulation of negative or positive energies within and as myself, so as to stop myself from being manipulated/controlled by the mind and return to the self-directive principle of me in my world as the physical as life as one and equal to all living beings, and to from HERE, express myself within the principle of what is best for all life, so as to bring about a system/behaviour which is best for all life.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within positive energy when I am within the presence of another being, and to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within negative energy when I am not within the presence of another being, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “feeling lonely/generating negative energy for being with alone with myself” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of “feeling depressed for being alone”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of “depression for being alone with myself”, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear living without energy because of the addiction that i have within and towards energy, whereas I constantly and continuously seek energy as a positive experience of myself because of being addicted to the experience sof me swelling up inside of me through the accumulation of positive energy, where I become gradually possessed by my own desires as self-interest to the extent where I close my eyes to what is actually happening within my environment as the physical because of being caught within my personal experience/desires of positive energy within and as my mind – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experience of me when within the accumulation of positive energy is only the experience of me as the mind of energy, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, and that whatever I experience within and as energy as the mind is always an illusion for the simple reason that the energy is dependent on outside influences because of being finite, rather than realising that who i truly am remains forever HERE as stability and infinity within and as the physical as life as the truth of me, and that when I am caught within the experiences of myself as positive energy, that I stop through the application of BREATHING and the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I stop all participation within energy as the mind and realise myself as LIFE as the physical as all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the games of “energy exchanges” when I am participating within whatever activities with the company of a friend, such as my accepted and allowed participation within gossiping and blame and judgments that I participate in whenever I am with a friend because of the habit that I have created of participating within such activities when within the relationship with another, instead of realising that the games that I play when with the company of others as friends of mine, are games that doesn’t stand for oneness and equality as they are a statement of separation as the perceived differences in the mind, whereas I am and become completely unstable because of being manipulated and governed/directed by the energies within and as my mind – instead of stopping such participations through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so as to build self-trust and self-will so that to CHANGE what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as a system of abuse, and become equal to the system of life which is the system of oneness and equality between all living beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to build a habit of participating within games of energies when I am with the company of others, such as friends, wherein i have conditioned myself into behaving in ways where I allow myself to generate situations of “laughter” so as to build the positive energies within and as myself and another as myself, instead of realising that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of gaining positive energies, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within negative energies within and as myself because of the equal and one relationship between positive energy and negative energy, whereas as I experience positive energy within and as myself, I automatically invite negative energy within and as myself within another moment of self-expression – which are specifically the moments where I experience the “other side” of the conditions that I have generated within and as my mind in order to experience/exchange positive energy, such as when I am alone with myself rather than being with the company of another, wherein I experience the negative discharge of energy when the condition of the manifestation of the positive energy within me is not present anymore = such as when I am alone with myself I tend to experience the “other side” of the positive energy that I experience when I am with the company of another. Within this, i forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the exchange of positive energies when I am with another, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within the exchange of negative energies when I am not with another, such as when I am alone with myself and that through this, that I accept and allow myself to be possessed by thoughts of negativity such as thoughts of “killing myself” because of not having built self-love and self-trust when within the company of myself alone. I now see/understand/realise that for me to stop myself from participating within negative thoughts that comes from / are birthed from the experience of myself as the mind as negative energy, that I have to stop myself from participating within positive thoughts that comes from/are birthed from the experience of myself as positive energy, wherein I become possessed and delude myself into thinking/believing that everything is fine with the world, whereas this is far from the truth as the system of abuse as the system of the world is based on such desires of “gaining more positive energy”/”gaining more money” at all cost, where life gets left to rot only because of the selfish desires of humanity to always gain more and more and more positive energy/money at the expense of life/god/the physical, and that for me to come back to my senses and be HERE as equal and one with the physical, that I have to stop myself from participating within the games of energy as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “charge myself up” through the practices of meditation techniques from within which the purpose of the practices is to gain as much positive energy as possible, for the soul purpose of satisfying the desires of my self-interests – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my desires as self-interests, whereas I only seek to satisfy my self-interests of becoming as happy as I can be through the accumulation of positive energy, while i accept and allow this world to be destroyed through the greed/abuse of self-interests as the system of mankind, only because of my personal and separate desires to have my own personal heaven as separation from all and everything, rather than realising that through me separating myself from all and everything within the self-interested purpose of constructing/gaining my own little heaven, that I am actually separating myself from who I truly am as life as the physical as all as one as equal and that I will eventually face the dire consequences of that self-separation at death – instead of stopping such self-interested behaviours through the investigation of myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as abuser of life, so that I may come to see the constructs within and as my mind so that, from within the starting point of self-awareness, that I stop all of my participation within the system of abuse as the system of self-interest only, and become equal to the interest of all as one as equal as life as the physical, so that we/I can CHANGE what we/I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as humanity and become the living examples of what we truly are as life which acts for the best interests of all living beings as equals and one.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear presenting myself to another human being without first being energised within and as my mind consciousness system, because of the fear of not having the energy to be able to “find the words to communicate with” when with the company of another, because of having conditioned myself to “perform better within my conversations with others as myself” when I am under the influence of a positively charged accumulation of energy, wherein the “words to communicate with” comes easier/faster when I am positively charged with energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear communicating with another human being, such as communicating with a sales clerk, when i am not firstly charged with and as energy because of the fear that I have of others seeing/thinking that I am strange for “talking too slow” because of the fact that the words within my mind doesn’t come as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by the energy as the mind when within the act of communicating with another, wherein the words comes more easily when I am firstly charged with positive energy in contrast of the words not coming as easily when I am not firstly charged with positive energy. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I don’t need the accumulation of positive energy to be able to talk with another human being as myself, within the perspective of having words come easily within and as my being, and that if the words are still directed/governed by the presence or lack of the presence of the accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind, that I am thus still directed by the mind as energy and that for me to stop myself from participating within such a limitation within and as my expression of myself, that I have to firstly STOP myself from participating within the accumulation of positive energy within and as the mind, through the tools of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free my expression from the conditions that I programmed into my being such as the need to generate/accumulate positive energy within and as my mind before talking to another as myself, and thus allowing myself to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that i need energy in order to be able to express myself to others, wherein I have programmed myself into acquiring/manipulating the energies within and as my mind so as to accumulate as much as positive energy as possible before allowing myself to communicate with another being as myself, because of the accepted and allowed belief as condition that I have placed within and as my expression, that in order for me to be able to be listened to, that I have to express myself with as much as energy as possible so that the people to whom I am expressing myself to, doesn’t get distracted by other things around them so as to keep them “locked into me” for the purpose of them satisfying my self-interest of being listened to/being given attention to, rather than them placing their attention on other things than my expression as my desire to be listened to. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to control/manipulate others as myself through the usage/expression of myself as “high energy” so that I may be given attention to within the belief/perception that people around me are as addicted as me to energy and that because of expressing myself within the starting point of high energy, that I thus automatically attract and maintain the attention of others around me – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me accepting and allowing myself to participate within the act of manipulating others around me through me projecting myself as the “reserve of high energy” as the mind, that I thus automatically enslave myself and others as myself within and as the system of abuse as the system of gaining/attracting as much energy as possible without considering the consequences towards life as the physical because of only being controlled/directed by self-interest alone, instead of stopping such participation within self-interest through the tools of self-investigation that comes from writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I can free myself from the programming of the mind and so that I can script myself as my new behaviour within the starting point of acting within the interest of what is best for all life, Equal and one with all living beings of this world.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity such as the game of competing for “positive energy” as the mind, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as games of competition, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “seeking to accumulate as much positive energy as possible before communicating with another human being” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of seeking to project myself as having high energy to others, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of high/positive energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Today, I have been awarded with the “present” of being able to join the DIP program for one year for free, which I consider as being a gift that has been sent out to me by the cool folks at Desteni for having proven that I am committed with walking my process breath by breath, moment by moment and day by day – as I am now in my 42nd day of committing myself to daily writing through the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

Now, as I have been granted to join with the DIP program, I have consequently been granted to start with the first lessons of the program, wherein I have to gradually move up within the program, step by step to make sure that I am well acquainted with the Desteni material and that I am able to self-direct me within my own world through the self-empowering/liberating tools given by Desteni (writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application). The reaction that came up within myself however, was a reaction of “oh no, I don’t want to go and read all of the Desteni material again” because of having already read all of the articles posted on the Desteni main web site – desteni.org. This reaction came up within me after I realised that, after logging in to my DIP account page for the first time, I would have to read the lengthy documents that are suggested to read for the purpose of the DIP program. I reacted this way because, like I said earlier, I have already read almost if not all of the articles made by Sunette and the dimensions from the Desteni.org web page and that I believed that because of that fact, that I could be able to bypass some of the firsts lessons because of already being well acquainted with the Desteni material.

Now obviously, this reaction is calling for self-forgiveness which I will do shortly, but I just want to clarify that after having exchanged emails with my DIP buddy, that I have realised that it is in my best interest to read what has been laid out before me in the DIP program even if it means that I’ll have to probably re-read some of the articles that I have already read in the past. It’s been a while since I read those articles, and a good review is never a bad thing since I my perspective regarding Desteni have greatly changed since I first read the articles back in the year 2008. So, I’m sure that the exercise in reading all of the documents that will be sent out to me in the course of my DIP participation, will be worth my while, since it will allow me to attune my perspective towards the Desteni material so that I may stand clear within and as the depths of myself regarding what I have committed myself to, which is the 7 to 14 years process of self-purification in order that I may script myself into what is best for all life, as what is best for all life is best for myself. For more information regarding this process, see here.

Self-forgiveness on the reactions that came up – having to start over:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within spite as myself when I became aware that I would have to start over with the lectures of the Desteni material, wherein I was discouraged at the notion that I would probably have to re-read some of the documents that I have already read in the past concerning the Desteni material, which meant that I would have to give more time for the lectures of the material wherein I wasn’t “happy”/”pleased” about that fact because of considering myself as being “above” the act of having to read the introduction material to Desteni. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react within myself in a way that I silently compared myself within the silences of my mind as backchat, to that of feelings of being “happy”, wherein I have automatically/mechanically compared the idea of having to probably re-read the Desteni material again as being a “negative energetic reaction”, to the idea/perception of not having to re-read the Desteni material again as being a “positive energetic reaction”, because of the notion/belief that because of me having already read most if not all of the Desteni material, that this empowers me to skip some lessons in order to get into the lessons which are relevant to my current understanding of the Desteni material – instead of realising that it is not about my current understanding of the Desteni material, wherein I perceived myself as already knowing a lot of/about Desteni and it’s message since having read most if not all of the articles found within the Desteni web page (desteni.org), but that it is about me standing within humility within the act of restarting within myself, so as to clear all points of uncertainty/misconception regarding the Desteni material, so as to stand clear within and as the process as myself so as to never look back again and be clear on all of the reasons why it is of the utmost importance for me to participate within the 7 years to life process, so that I may stop the mind/consciousness/energetic reactions within myself so that I may be able to birth life from the physical, so as to CHANGE what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become as humanity as the abuse/misuse of life/physicality, and bring about what is best for all life, Equal and One with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being “above” the act of having to “start from the beginning” regarding the Desteni material, because of the notion/CONception that the “knowledge and information” that I already had/have regarding the Desteni material, was/is enough for me to go directly into subjects which are at deeper levels of application within the DIP program, wherein I perceived myself as “knowledge and information” as the mind only and that from within that perspective, that I used justification/spite/blame towards my position as being “above” the position of a newcomer – instead of realising that I was actually accepting and allowing myself to participate within the polarity of the mind, as superiority and inferiority as the projected image of myself that I had of being “above” a newcomer only because of the “knowledge and information” that I had regarding the Desteni material. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that “knowledge and information alone” is useless, and that unless knowledge and information is used for practical application within the practical living of myself HERE within and as this world, that the “knowledge and information” from within the perspective of “knowledge and information alone” is completely useless – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use “knowledge and information” as benchmark for the consideration of my position concerning the Desteni material, whereas I used within my mind, spite and justification in order to justify my own self-righteousness within the notion that “knowledge and information alone” was enough to make me go directly to later stages of the DIP program, not seeing myself as being Equal and One with all participants within the DIP program, but seeing me as being “different”/”special” than those who are newcomer to the Desteni material – only because of the fact that I already had the “knowledge and information” concerning the Desteni material. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/perceive/project me as being “different” than those who are newcomer to the Desteni material, because of the mind’s interpretation that “knowledge and information alone” in regards to the Desteni material was/is enough to make me “different”/”special” than any other newcomer of the Desteni material, not seeing/understanding or realising that “knowledge and information alone” doesn’t make me better than anyone in this world, as knowledge and information alone doesn’t change shit in this world, and that as long as I perceive and believe knowledge and information to be benchmark of my status in this world, that I am entrapping myself within the games of the mind as useless garble instead of releasing myself from such mind possessions, and become equal and one with the physical as life as all as one as Equal – wherein I am equal and one within my starting point within the DIP program, wherein I am one and equal with any newcomer to the Desteni material as I have yet to have proven myself as being worthy of Life through the 7-14 years to life process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react negatively to the idea of having to read the introduction material to the Desteni principle from within my DIP application, whereas I experienced deception within and as myself after having first realised that I would have to read the introduction material to the Desteni principle/message over again, as I have already read most if not all of the Desteni material from the Desteni web page (desteni.org), instead of realising that the act of reading the Desteni material again, presents itself as being an opportunity for me to correct/remove unconscious/subconscious beliefs systems that are still present within and as my mind, through the reading of the Desteni introduction material, wherein the act of reading the Desteni material again would grant me new perspectives towards what I/we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as self/humanity and that from there, take a stand so as to no more accept and allow myself to be directed by illusionary beliefs systems as the mind, and to bring myself back HERE within and as the physical as the BREATH through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be deceived by the idea that I would have to re-read the Desteni material again, not realising that the deception was/is not in the act of having to re-read the Desteni material again, but that the deception was/is within the thought of myself as the thought of “not having to read the material again” as that thought is/was me deceiving myself into believing/thinking that I was “above” the act of “reading the desteni material again”, wherein it would not be necessary for me to read the Desteni material again, because of the deception that “knowledge and information” played within my mind as the self-proclaimed/self-justified god in my mind, wherein I would from within the stance of knowledge and information, claim that I already “know it all” and that because of that, that it wasn’t necessary for me to read the Desteni material again – instead of realising that the simple fact that I reacted to this information, whether slightly or greatly, proves without the shadow of a doubt that I am not “above it all” as I am still enslaved by the reactions of the mind and thus, cannot yet be trusted by life as that which is the only authoritative god in this world/existence.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was spiteful towards the newcomers to the Desteni material, as proven by my reaction of negative friction towards the fact that I would have to “get down to the levels of a newcomer” in regards to the Desteni material found within the DIP course, and relinquish my self-proclaimed/self-justified position as a “know it all” concerning the Desteni material, while the actual truth of me as self-application clearly shows that knowledge and information is useless unless it is used for practical application, wherein the “knowledge and information” regarding the Desteni material doesn’t amount to anything unless it is used for REAL actual practical application, such as the application of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, and that as long as I do not practically put into use the knowledge and information found within the Desteni material, as was the case when I first read the Desteni material, that the Desteni material is useless. I know see/realise/understand the opportunity that is presenting itself to me within the act of reviewing all of the Desteni material within the newly acquired perspective of practical application, whereas I am only now ready/decided to put all of the practical information found within the Desteni material to use, which wasn’t yet the case when I first read the Desteni material. Thus, the new perspective that I know have regarding the importance of actually applying the knowledge and information found within the Desteni material, gives me a fresh and new outlook on the material, giving depths of perspective that wasn’t present within myself as I first ran through the document a few years ago.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of mind polarity as the projection of myself as inferiority/superiority, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as inferiority/superiority, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life eternal, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “deception of starting anew” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of deception as the reaction of friction experimented when realising that I have to start anew, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of deception, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

Today, I have been given the permission to join the DIP program because of my commitment/constance towards my application of the 7 years to life process, which is really cool. I was thus given the opportunity to join the DIP program with sponsorship, so that I could perfect myself into becoming one and equal as life as the physical, through the 7 years to life process, as an assistance towards my application and the effectiveness of my application towards and within myself.

So, as I was given permission to join the DIP program, I was thusly given the permission to have a personnal account within the DIP web page/system. However, after having received the confirmation that my account was operational after having followed all the steps for my inscription (giving my e-mail address and generating a password for me to log into my DIP account web page), I was rebuffed by the system wherein I received the message “you have been banned” after having attempted to log into my DIP account.

This message has generated feelings of friction within and as my stomach area, as a global/general/unspecific feeling which made me remember experiences of rejection as I was growing up in this world. So, in face of this point which ressurfaced, it was my duty to self-investigate that reaction within the specificities that that reaction generated within and as my mind.

Self-forgiveness on the feeling of rejection:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was banned from the DIP program because of the message that I got after connecting to my account, which informed me that I was banned for a general reason of having not followed the terms of use, within which I believed that I had been banned because of my precarious past with Desteni, whereas I have used abuse and spite towards members of Desteni because of having been possessed by energetic entities from within which I was brought to interpret the Desteni message as being a menace to my well being as an energetic entity, instead of realising that that energetic entity was a mind possession which had a finite existence that I didn’t want to let go of because of my addictions to energies as the mind, instead of realising that who i am is not an energetic entity, but is equal and one with the physical as life as that which is equal to all living beings – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give this “energetic entity” time of day, where i accepted and allowed myself to express myself as the words coming from this energetic entity within myself, from within which I perceived myself as being a being of light wherein I dismissed the Desteni message because of my desire to keep my energetic possession as the “high energy entity” alive and through the perception that the Desteni message was threatening my mind’s illusion as being a being of light – I now see/understand/realise that the energetic entity that expresses itself whenever the accumulation of positive energy becomes overwhelming, is and was a mind possession that wasn’t/isn’t real as it is/was only a construct of the mind as the desires of the mind as energy to experience it’s reward as positive energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have this energetic reaction within myself after having been aware of having been banned for a general reason of not having followed the terms of use, wherein I felt a slight friction within my stomach area informing me through the interpretations of the mind that I was rejected from joining the DIP program because of the belief that the administrators had received the order to ban me because of my precarious past with Desteni and it’s members, instead of realising that this reaction as the fear of being rejected was only the interpretation of my mind towards the message of being banned, from within which emerged within the depths of my mind, past reactions as the slight friction feeling within my stomach area, from where I had been rejected as I was growing up in this world – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to change from within the perspective of not accepting and allowing myself to experience that feeling of energetic friction within and as my stomach area, because of the realisation that who I am as life is not the product of energy, as energy as myself is a diminishment of who I truly am as life as the physical which is always eternally here as myself, equal and one with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had been rejected by my classmates as I was growing up in this world, wherein I have adopted the behavioural stance as someone who is “less than another” when I was within the same area as those who used to use derivative names towards me, and thus to still continue behaving within such a stance to this day, whenever I see/perceive someone or something expressing words which reminds me of those experiences as being rejected when I was growing up in this world, such as the words that I read today where it was written as I attempted to access my DIP account web page, as the words “you have been banned”, which furthermore was written in red as a colour which I have associated with things which are “bad”. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a “bad” feeling within and as my stomach area, after having read the word “you have been banned” which were furthermore in red letters such as the effect of the negative impression of those words, were elevated within the fact that the colour they were printed on was red, instead of realising that those words which I read today, as the words “you have been banned” and which were furthermore printed in the colour red, were innocent and acted only as pointers that there was something wrong with the system that I was trying to log into, and that the problem wasn’t created because of me and my past as that of having been rejected, but that the problem was simply a problem that concerned the program as the system I was trying to log into – which had nothing to do with me personally, such as the manifestation of the “bad feeling within and as my stomach area” made me believe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the words “you have been banned” within the effect of me experiencing feelings of “slight friction” within and as my stomach area, whereas the friction was generated through blame/spite/justification towards those as myself – which was made evident by the fact that the “bad feelings within and as my stomach area” was felt by my physical body/me as an energetic/illusionary reaction towards the association between what I have read today and what I have experienced as I was growing up in this world as the experience of being rejected – that I have accused of being the cause of the feeling of inferiority that I experienced when I was within the presence of bullies as I was growing up in this world – instead of realising that they were not the cause/reason/justification for the feelings that I harboured within and as myself as the feelings of being rejected, such as the experience of myself as being “inferior” to those who used derivative names towards me, but that it was me as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become, such as being “inferior to those whom I perceived as being superior to me”, that was the cause of such feelings/emotions/reactions and that it is my responsibility to STOP what I have accepted and allowed myself to become through my experiences growing up in this world. Within this, I now see/realise/understand that it is only me that can change what I experience within and as myself when reacting to outside influences – that the outside is not the cause of whatever I accept and allow myself to experience within and as myself, but that it is me and me alone who is responsible for whatever is happening as reactions to outside stimuli within and as myself, and that it is only ME that can STOP myself from participating within such reactions of “inFEARiority” through the application of self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty in order for me to release myself from those energetic charges and become clear so that I can stand HERE with and as my physical body, with no reactions whatsoever to what is being directed at me from others around me – and that it is up to me as clarity/stability to be the self-directive principle of me in my world, not my reactions/emotions/feelings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still hold unto the past as the experiences of myself as being rejected, through me still to this day, exercising friction through blame/spite/justifications towards those that have expressed themselves as being the authority of me as I was growing up in this world, whereas I was enslaved by my feelings of “inFEARiority” whenever I was within the company of those who used to bully me as I was growing up in this world, because of my accepted and allowed participation within the polarity of the mind as superiority and inFEARriority, as I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being “inFEARior” to those who bullied me as I was growing up in this world, and that I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being “superior” within other instances such as when I was playing games where I was known to have success as I was a teenager growing up in this world – instead of realising that the reason why I experimented those feelings of inferiority when faced with the bullies as I was a teenager in this world, was because I accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as “superiority” within other instances/moments as I was growing up in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have blamed LIFE in and of itself as that which I perceived the entirety of the universe as being as I was growing up in this world, whereas I was blaming LIFE as that which was “superior” to me because of the perceived notion that LIFE was separate from me and was the author of me as my creator, wherein I blamed LIFE as the entirety of existence within and as the backchat/secret mind for having given me the physical attributes which were the subject of the ridicule/rejection that I experienced with those who bullied me as I was a teenager growing up in this world – instead of realising that LIFE as something which was/is separate from me was/is an illusion that persist/persisted as long as I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was this “mind entity” as personality that I perceived/believed myself as being through my interactions with those who educated me in this world, such as my parents, teachers and those who projected themselves as the authority figures in my world. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am the only authority of me in my world, whereas I as the physical as the self-directive principle of me in my world as that which is with me all of the time, is the only TRUE/REAL authority of me in my world, as I am the one who is with me all of the time, and that whoever claims to be the authority of me in my world, is only being authorised as an authority of me because of my accepted and allowed participation within the personalities/energetic entities of the mind, and that in order for me to regain full authority of myself as LIFE, that I have to STOP such participations within and as the personalities as the mind, through the use of self-investigation through writing and through the tools of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application so that I may see myself for what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind, and that from there, stop myself from participating within and as the mind so that I may return to the physical as who I truly am as life, One and Equal to all living beings.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of inferiority is a feeling that is generated through the FEAR of expressing myself for who and what I am, and that as long as I will generate that feeling through the friction/conflict that I hold onto towards the world and existence for the predicament that I am in within and as my life, that I will keep on experimenting myself as being “inferior” to the another or the outside world because of me still holding onto the feelings of inferiority and superiority within and as my mind. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of inFEARiority is existent within and as my mind as long as I keep participating within the feeling of SOUPeriority, as the “soup” that I drink in order to make me feel “more than” who I am as the physical, instead of stopping such participations within inFEARiority and SOUPeriority altogether. If and when I see myself move or about to move within the pattern of inFEARiority or SOUPeriority, I stop, BREATHE, see if I have missed an opportunity to self-forgive and if so, forgive myself from my participation within the games of the mind as superiority and inferiority and bring myself back HERE within and as the BREATH as the self-honest expression of myself within and as the physical as all as One as Equal as Life.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as inferiority/superiority, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within the mind as inferiority/superiority when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as the mind which abuses/misuses substance as myself through the consumption of the physical as life for the own sustenance/survival of myself as finite Energy – to which I am ultimately not, as who I am is one and equal with the physical as life, wherein there is NO ENERGY which controls who I am as the physical.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the reaction of “rejection/inferiority” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of rejection/rejected as the reaction of friction experimented within parts of my physical body such as the stomach area, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the personality arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the personality game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in personality as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about myself as the feeling/experience of rejection, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop the frictions/judgments/blame/spite within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the energies of the universe to my own advantage as self-interest, within the perspective that the practice of meditation would empower me to use the energies of the cosmos, wherein I believed that the amount of energy available in the universe was limitless and was my/our birthright, wherein each and every one who would want to use this available and limitless source of energy would be free to do so at the condition of “knowing” how to obtain that limitless source of energy, wherein I believed that my meditation practices was me “knowing” how to obtain/gain that energy – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push/force myself within my mind, through the generation/creation of friction within and as my mind as the consumption of physicality – as the movement from the negative, to the neutral and to the positive energies – as I was motivated by the belief that energy was my true self/identity and that my goal in life was to accumulate as much energy as possible so that I could become a “special being” which would be able to “guide others” to our “true identity” and thus our freedom – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that energy is not our true identity, as energy is finite and can never stand the test of time within eternity/infinity, but that our true identity is the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as life as that which stands the test of time into eternity/infinity as substance as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise, from within the experiences of me having “high amounts of energy” within the perspective of me acquiring and gaining those high amounts of energy through meditative practices focussing solely on the act of acquiring/gaining as much energy as possible from the cosmos, that the method of acquiring those amounts of energy was always one and the same, meaning that the levels of high energy experienced was always the result/fruit of my constant and continuous friction with physicality as who I really am as life and not the result of me sucking energy from the cosmos as energy through my meditative practices – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was burning and burning and burning who I really was/am as physicality as life through me acquiring/building excessive amounts of energy, thus abusing myself as who I truly am as the physical, only so that I could experience myself as being “more than” who I really was/am as life which was a deception that I was deliberately participating in because of the “rewards” as “positive energy” that would be gained from such practices – all of which blinded me from the truth of myself as who I really was/am as physicality as all as one as equal as Life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to the common sense within and as me as the words of who I truly am as physicality which told me to STOP within the first experiences of me experiencing myself as having/generating/burning excessively high amounts of energy, from within which I believed myself as being/becoming a “purifier for existence”, within that the energy that I experienced within myself was so “extreme” that I started to believe that I was “special” and that the energy that was contained within and as my mind was able to “change the world” because of the perception of it being “pure” and thus, could “purify/change” the world, instead of realising that the only thing that this acquirement of high energy would do as consequence, was to further my enslavement within and as the mind as the mind consciousness system through the participation of the charging and discharging of positive energies within and as my mind and within and as this entire existence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to become a “special being” because of the desire/motivation/want to make myself “special” in the eyes of others, wherein I would develop meditative practices that would generate as much friction as possible within my mind in order to generate as much positive energy as possible so that I could, through the veil of the accumulated energy as positivity, manipulate people into thinking/believing that I was “special” and “illuminated” and that I could change/save the world for the better through me changing the energies all around me through my mere presence alone, from within which I perceived myself has being able to bring about a new world through the purification of the energies all around me, because of the “purity of energies” that I was able to canalise through my meditation sessions, as I then saw myself as being a “great purifier” which purpose was to purify the energies of the ether so that positivity could reign within this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the truth of me was being blinded by my desires of becoming a “great purifier”, whereas my desires of attaining/getting/gathering as much positive energy as possible blinded me from what was right HERE in front of me as the actual real identity of myself, which was simply as being equal and one with the physical as all as one as equal as life – but that my desires of being/becoming “someone more than what was obviously here as myself” blinded me from the actual real living of myself and isolated myself further within the polarity/games of the mind, from within which my enslavement to consciousness was blissfully made ignorant to my awareness because of my stubbornness to see myself as a “special being” which was “enlightened” and thus was “more than others” because of the beLIEf that I was fundamentally a being made of energy/light, which was a mindfuck that I forced myself to believe because of wanting/desiring to make me “more than” what I perceived myself as being such as this “small” physical body/being.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “positive energies” that was my inner experience of myself after having spent numerous amounts of time practicing meditation for the sole purpose of gaining/acquiring/charging as most energy as possible, was generated in all ways through the continuous friction between what I believed myself as being a being of energy, and what I truly was as equality and oneness as the physicality, wherein the charging/generation of positive energy came through the friction continuously exercised through the consumption of physicality/my physical body which resulted in the high amounts of positive energy that was experienced within the confines of my mind alone – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the experiences of myself as having high amounts of energy, only came through the friction as the burning of substance as physicality, all of which would only result in me burning myself down over and over and over again, until my physical body could not endure it anymore, whereas I would then eventually experience myself as being “depressive” and “physically feeble” because of having burned enormous quantities of substance for the sole benefit of my mind’s self-interest to which I then believed as being my own – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “who I am” was the fabric of the mind as energy, instead of realising that “who I am” has and will always be HERE as the physical as physicality as all as one as equal as Eternal Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind, within my meditative practices, to engulf the universe in order to “capture” as much energy as possible in order to “funnel” this energy towards and within my physical body, so that I could become a living example of a deity as the manifestation of a spiritual being coming from the high spheres of the spiritual hierarchies. Within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through me expressing myself within and as this “high energy accumulation”, that I was thus a living example of a deity instead of realising that who I was within and as the expression of myself as “high energy accumulation” was not the living example of a deity, but rather the living manifestation of a demonised entity as myself which only acted for the sole purpose of its self-interest as the experience of positivity as itself, instead of realising that the true living example of life is that of the physical expressing itself as the physical, without no participation within energy as positivity/neutrality/negativity as the mind, whereas the stopping of the energies as the mind comes through the practice of writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that one can change from being enslaved to the systems of the mind as energy, to being freed as the expression of life which is equal and one as physicality as all as one as equal as Life = not energetically driven at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume physicality through the projection of myself within and as the universe/cosmos/creation as that of funnelling/condensing/charging the energies of the cosmos towards and within my human physical body, because of the desire to be a god unto myself and this world so that I could create a new world which would be better than the world that I then experienced as myself – wherein I desired changing the state of the world through the powers of my mind/energies alone, because of the belief that my origin was that of energy and that through me realigning myself with the origin of myself as energy, that I would/could thus be able to “manipulate/change” the energies of the world so that the energies of the cosmos could change the state of the world through me for the better, whereas I then perceived myself as being a medium of higher cosmic energies/consciousness that would/could change the energies of the world so that a new and better world could be made manifest on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my origin as the core of my being was that of energy, because of having read the testimonies of a man who had a near death experience from within which it was revealed to him that we were made of energies, instead of realising the common sense in the fact that who I was/am as the origin of myself could/can only be equal and one with all living beings instead of being “unique” and “special” and “different” such as the state of my mind when within the “high conglomerate” of energies within and as my mind alone, and thus that the common sense origin of myself as all as one as equal can only be the physical as substance as Life, Equal and One with all living beings and not the mind as positive, neutral and negative energy experiences of the physical.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “low energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which I absolutely do not want to experience any more.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to control others with my mind, whereas I would modify the frequencies of my mind through me practicing meditation within the goal of controlling my brainwaves, wherein I would when able to change the frequencies of my mind, control the reactions of others within the control of my energies – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was deceiving myself and others as myself through me manipulating my brainwaves in the goal of changing the perception others had on me through me changing their mind state as mirrors to the mind states I was busy manipulating/changing within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind/energies to control other’s mind/energies around me, wherein I would express myself through laughter and excessive reactions only so that I could influence the reactions of others when with my presence, whereas I would present myself as having “high energy” through me modifying the state of my mind when with the company of others, while when alone with myself I would experience myself as having “low energies”. The contrast between my behaviour when with others and my behaviour when with myself would mean that I was deceiving myself and others as myself through the false projection of myself when with others, in comparison to who I was when with myself alone, which were different expressions because of the desire to “control how others would think of me” that manifested within myself when with the company of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/want to control how others feel/think about me, wherein I would spend tremendous amounts of time in meditation in order to learn how to control my brainwave states so that I could control the brainwaves states of others, only because of the fear I had of knowing what others truly felt/thought about me – wherein I would practice meditation only so that I could learn techniques in how to control others through the mind, within the only goal/SOUL purpose to eventually be able to control others – all the while being driven by the fear of knowing what others truly thought/felt about myself. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the driving force behind my motivation to meditate was so that I could learn techniques to control others through the control of my mind state because of the fear of being “rejected” and unloved by others, instead of realising that effective self-trust and self-love is built and comes through self-honest self-investigation through the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty wherein I apply myself to CHANGE so that my behaviour reflects what is best for all instead of what is best for only me as myself alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to control the mind of others through the modification of my mind states wherein the control occurred within the mirroring of the behaviour/reflections of others towards my mind state, wherein I would project a dishonest image of myself because of the forced projection of myself to others as myself as something which I am/was not in fact as I was not in fact “high in energy” when with my company alone, but that this projection of myself as “high energy” was manufactured through the countless amounts of hours that I spend in meditating only so that I could reach levels of control of my own energies/frequencies within the only goal to eventually control others.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “low energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which I absolutely do not want to experience any more.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind to control how others would feel about themselves when within my company, whereas I would deliberately project myself as being happy, whatever the circumstances, only to ensure that others around me would feel happy too, because of being dependant on the energies of others wherein I usually mimic the emotions/feelings/behaviours of others in order to have a “feel” on how I “feel” within my relationship with others around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dishonest within how I present myself to others, wherein I would usually present myself as a false image of what I feel within myself only to make sure that I would fit within what was expected out of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the “energy mind game” with others when I am within the company of others because of wanting/desiring that others see me as being a “good/happy person” because of the belief that if I am not perceived as being a “good/happy person” when within the company of others, that others would reject me because of not having a lot of things to give of myself other than the “good feelings” that I would manipulate myself into being only to ensure that others would perceive me as being a good/happy person, while I would feel like shit when I would be back alone with myself – wherein I would feel the reverse effect of the projection of myself as being a “good/happy/energetic person” through me becoming all of a sudden “sad/lonely/negative energetic person” because of having used all of my energies to make others feel good about themselves through burning high amounts of physicality as chemical substances within my mind, wherein I would give “all  of myself as energy” only to realise that, when back with myself all alone in my apartment, that the effects of this participation within projecting myself as “high energy/good/happy person” generated the feelings of “sadness/depression” because of not having been given the amounts of energy I gave out to others and thus realise when back with myself, that I have burned myself out for others while not receiving the same amount of energy in return.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I was playing within the polarity game of the mind through me projecting myself as having/being “high energy/good/happy person”, not realising that through me participating within this game of positive energy/projection as the mind, that I would experience the negative side of this projection as the “low energy/depression/sadness” that I would feel within myself when back with myself, all alone in my apartment through the realisation that I have burned myself out for other’s perception of me, which was all for naught because of always returning to the “low energy/depression/sadness” that I would experience within myself as being alone in my apartment with no one to share my energies with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the best that I have to give to others as the “high amounts of energy” that I can muster within myself for the benefit of generating a “good atmosphere” when around with others, wherein I would “energise my mind” prior to the moments where I would be seen with others, only to ensure that I would be perceived as having “high amounts of energy” as I have defined that state of myself as being the “best that I can give to others as myself” as a gift that I would force myself to project unto others, for the benefit of their good feelings and perception of me as being a good/happy/special person who has high energy thus is a good person to be around with.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the desire to be perceived as being a good person to be around with, manipulates and controls me form within so as to become the projection of happiness/high energy even if that isn’t how I normally experience myself from within – only manifesting myself as having “high energy” when within the company of others to ensure that I have the best chance as being perceived as being a good/happy person that is beneficial to be around with, because of my unconscious desire to be “loved by others” and that the only way that I have found to be loved by others, is through me exerting myself as “high energy/positivity” at the cost of the deception as sadness that I experience within myself when back as being alone with myself – wherein I would feel depressed within myself after having expended high amounts of energy when with the company of others, only to realise that it was all for naught, as I am still to be found all alone with myself when back in my apartment – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me exerting/projecting myself as having “high amounts of energy” through me manipulating/energizing my mind prior to the moments when I am found with others, that as soon as I am to be back with the company of myself alone, that I will immediately experience myself as being negative/depressive/sad because of the re-occuring state/realisation that it was all for naught, as I am still all alone with myself, with no one to be around with within the intimacy of my home – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have my state of mind be dependent on the presence of others, as I feel happy when with the company of others and sad when back alone with myself, instead of realising that what I have to do first is build self-intimacy, self-love and self-trust first through the tools of investigating myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the mind, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so that I stop my participation within the cycles of “high energy” that I project of myself when with the company of others, and “low energy” that I experience within myself when back alone with myself, and CHANGE effectively so that I stop participating within these patterns of the mind and bring myself back HERE as the physical as life as that which is best for all as what is best for all is best for myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that every time that I accept and allow myself to project myself as having “high energy” when within the company of others, that I will automatically experience myself as having “low energy” as negativity/deception/depression when I will be back and alone with myself because of the secret mind desire as self-interest to “attract” a “female” to my home, wherein I would feel depressed/deceived/negative every time that this desire is not satisfied, which is almost all the time – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that every time I accept and allow myself to participate within such games of energy as the positive projection of myself as “high energy” in order to satisfy the secret desire to “attract a female to my home”, that the negative experience of myself as the realisation of doing all of this mind game manipulation for nothing, accumulates over and over and over and over again within and as my subconscious mind, whereas I experience the accumulated and layered negative polarity charge of this mind game which manifests within and as myself as deep levels of negativity/depression/sadness through the realisation that I have yet again failed at bringing a partner with me to share and live intimate experiences with at my apartment, whenever I find myself again and again and again all alone with myself, with no one to share my life experiences with.

Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me participating within such games of “mind projections” as me projecting myself as having “high amounts of energy” only so that I have the possibility to attract a female to my home so that I may not be alone anymore, is a game/pattern of deception that I maintain within and as myself because of deceiving others as myself within the projection of myself as being of “high energy” which is ultimately false as I normally am calm and stable within and as myself when I am alone with myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise the pattern that I keep on participating within as the cycle of “high energy as forced happiness” turning into “low energy as forced depression” and then going back to “high  energy as forced happiness” only to return to “low energy as forced depression”, going on and on and on as cycles in my mind that I accept and allow myself to participate in because of the subconscious driven desire to attract a female back to my home, even if I know of the low chance of me succeeding, wherein I press the “reset” button every time a new opportunity of attracting a female to my home presents itself to me, because of the hopes that “this time will be the good one” even if my life has proven to me that “this time will be the good one” almost never happens. Within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to not realise that all of this is a pattern that I have enclosed myself within and as the mind as a pattern of self-abuse that I keep on participating in because of the desires/hopes that I will eventually find someone to share my life with, within which I would deliberately manipulate myself and others as myself from within so as to project the best image of myself as possible so that others may feel good about themselves when within my company, only to realise over and over and over again, that it was all for naught as I almost never get anything in return for the burning of my energies engineered to attract others to myself, whereas at the end of the day, I always find myself back alone with myself with no one to share my existence with in intimacy – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be self-intimate with myself, through self-investigation through writing, self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application, so as to with self-intimacy, be able to take back the control of my life and stop being manipulated by the games of the mind that I know of being all for naught.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop myself from entertaining others as myself through me projecting a false image of myself as that of having “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, while I would always experience myself as the direct opposite of that projection as soon as I would be back and alone with myself, whereas the negative energy as depression would always be experienced in full force every time I would be back and alone with myself – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/understand/realise the futility in me participating in such games of energy with others, through me being self-honest with myself through the time and time again realisation that I do this for nothing in return, whereas I only get nothing in return of all of my expenses/burning of myself/physicality to “please” others. I forgive myself that I  haven’t accepted and allowed myself to listen to common sense through me stopping such destructive/abusive behaviours to and towards myself through me stopping projecting myself as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others because of the constant realisation that I do all of this for nothing as I only burn myself/physicality for an energetic experience that never comes.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that as soon as I participate within feelings of high energy/positivity/happiness when with the company of others, that I automatically generate the feelings of low energy/negativity/depression when with the company of myself alone – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I absolutely do not want to experience myself as low energy/depression/negativity and that the only way to stop me from experimenting myself as low energy/depression/negativity is through me stopping my participation within high energy/happiness/positivity when with the company of others.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within such games of polarity as the projection of myself as high energy/positivity when with the company of others, through the realisation that as long as I accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “high energy/positivity” when with the company of others, that I automatically accept and allow myself to participate within energy as “low energy/negativity/depression” when back alone with the company of myself, which I absolutely do not want to experience any more.

I commit myself to, through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty, write daily in my blog so as to become a living example to others as what it is to be a responsible human being which acts for the interest of what is best for all, as what is best for all is best for everyone, Equal and One with all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire to use energy to control others” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage in for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as the thought of “wanting to live experiences of high energy”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about desiring experimenting feelings of high energy, through the use of thoughts and emotions, learned ideas and beliefs about the human condition, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through writing, self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and breathing – to stop the desires and stop judgments within and as me and so allow me to express myself unconditionally for the first time.

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com