Today I went to the clinic in order to check on a problem that i’ve been having with my physical body for about a week or so. The problem i’ve been having concerned a bursted pimple which is located at the base of my spinal colomn, just next to the coccyx. Since about a week or so, the pimple bursted and there’s been a liquid consisting of puss and blood which have been seaming out of it ever since. The liquid flows constantly without any form of suture around the area of the wound, making it an open wound, and I have to continuously replace a cotton swab just to make it so that the liquid doesn’t stain my underwear. It is rather uncomfortable since I have to think about the ways that i sit whenever i am sitting down, in order to make sure that the cotton swab doesn’t move even if i have placed gummed paper around the cotton swab.

As I was sitting down waiting for the doctor to call my name, I was wondering on the gravity of my situation – not thinking that it was grave per say, but just wondering if it would mean that I would need an intervention such as an operation in order to remove the abscess completely. I have surfed the net prior to the visit at the clinic in order to get some information on my wound. There I found out that this type of wound, especially if it remains open, generally need an operation in order to remove whatever is causing the puss to form from within the wound itself. Thus, the necessity of an operation where a doctor would open the abscess, remove the material that is causing the formation of puss and then put a mesh of some sorts in order to make sure that the puss wouldn’t come out.

So, i was sitting down wondering about all this stuff when I finally got to see the doctor – after having waited for about an hour before being served because of a mistake that the doctor made concerning my family name ( he believed that my appointment had been cancelled because there had been a mistake in my appointment where it was believed that my sister was the one who was supposed to meet the doctor and not me… ). Whithin my appointment with the doctor, he determined that it would be best for me to take on a cream and some medication in order to see if they could heal my abscess. He told me that this type of situation would generally mean an operation, but that before we reached that conclusion, that it would be best for me to take a medication and a cream to see if it could heal the wound. After about a month or so, if the abscess is still there after having taken this method of treatment, then I would need to consider having an operation. The doctor warned me though that if I would need an operation, that it would mean that I would have to wait about 6 months for the wound to close. So right now, the viable solution is the medication and the cream he prescribed to me. I will see in about a month or so if I still need a medical intervention. For now though, I will use the treatment that the doctor suggested to me and hope that it will be enough to heal the wound.

Self-forgiveness on the harm done towards my physical body:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through the usage of substances which are harmfull to my physical body.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to eat sugar in great quantity, not realising that sugar is harmfull for my physical body – therefore, i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek the pleasure as the energetic addiction/temptation towards and within the substance abuse of sugar, only so that I may experience a positive energetic experience within myself without considering the harm that the substance such as sugar creates within and as the physicality of and as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to abuse substances such as smoking mariuana, only so that i could experience the energetic high that comes with the intake of that substance, not realising that through me taking on that substance, I allow myself to participate within energetic temptations/highs only so that i could experience the positive energy as the friction generated within and as the mind – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that by me using substances such as mariuana, i allow myself to participate within the nature of the mind as energy and through this, I allow myself to continue on with the abuse of phisicality as life for the expence of mind generated possessions such as the positive entity that is generated through the intake of marijuana, which only lasts for a moment while the damage done to my physical body lasts longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through me taking on substances such as alcool only because of the addiction that I have generated within myself as the temptations of the mind, to within that temptation only seek personal interests/goals of experiencing an energetic experience such as the feeling of being drunk, which is a disgrace and a deliberate attempt at harming my physical body – within this, I forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that alcool is harming my physical body and that as such, is to be forever forbidden for it allows the abuse of the physical as life to continue with my allowed participation in the intake of alcool.

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my physical body through the peer pressure that is generated whenever i am within a situation where I am asked to take on such abusive substances as alcool only so that I may “fit in” with the group – within this, i forigive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bend in front of peer pressure whenever I am within a situation of abuse towards the physical body, where from within which I would take on the abusive substance such as alcool only so that I would “fit in” with the group.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to arm my physical body through me taking on excessive amounts of sugar even if my body is telling me to STOP within the awareness that sugar is harming my physical body – within this, i forgive mysefl that I have accepted and allowed myself to blind myself from the common sensical reaction/words as the body telling me through pains of all sorts, that the abusive substance such as sugar is harming my physical body and through this, selecting to not listen to my physical body at the expense of the “high” that is awaiting me through the substance abuse of sugar.

I fogive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately harm my physical body through the smoking of cigarettes because of the blind addiction towards nicotine which is an absolute harm towards my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek pleasures of the mind while being in total disrespect for my physical body, through me seeking highs from the intake of abusive substances such as marijuana rather than seeking to ground myself within and as the reality of me as the physical body as life – through the application of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application – within this, I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to “wait for things to get worse” before I decide to actually change in order to do what is best for all through me stopping my participation within the games of polarity as the mind, as the games of winners and losers and re-align myself to and towards the true nature of me as the physical as life as one and equal to all living biengs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as the human physical body to be and become a disgrace to and towards life through me accepting and allowing such participation such as the intake of harmfull substances only so that I can reach new energetic highs at the expense of my physical body – within this, i forgive myself that i haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the hights as the energetic experiences that i seek to have only hurts the physicality as me through the constant and continuous consumption of physicality as the energetic highs that I experience within and as my mind.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “desire for abusive substances” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of desire as “I want sugar/marijuana/alcohol/abusive substances”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the desire arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the desire game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in desire as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “desire” through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently in front of those that I perceive as being “different than me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within judgments as the backchat that occurs within me when I see a person that I perceive as being in another class than me, such as a person which is fatter than me, a person which has a different colour of skin than me or a person of a different gender than me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within games of polarity based on the physical differences between me and another, such as the physical differences in weight, height, colour of skin and gender, rather than acting equally the same as the principle of oneness and equality towards and with all beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem a person who is heavier than me, such as an overweight person, as being less important than another less overweight being – such has having thoughts within backchat where I would diminish the relationship with an overweight person so as to not express myself unconditionally towards them but conditionally within the self-imposed limits within my expression towards them – such as not looking at them in the eyes or not considering them as equals.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge an overweight person as being “less than me”, thus expressing the consequence-outflow of that judgement as limiting my self-expression towards them as a contrived expression of being uncomfortable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be uncomfortable in front of overweight people, where I would deliberately experience negative energies within myself through looking at an overweight person because of the accepted and allowed conditioning of myself as the mind from within which I perceive overweight people as being physically uncomfortable-looking.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my sense of discomfort towards people who are overweight because of the belief and culturally accepted perception that an overweight person is a “disgust” and therefore is “disgusting” to look at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgusted when I see/look/perceive a person as being overweight, from within which I experience feelings of negatively charged energy because of me placing myself in their shoes through the filter of the mind alone – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my mind possession as ego towards and within people whom I perceive/see/look as being overweight, and from within which I manifest within and as myself, the negatively charged energy because of me placing myself as them through the perspective of the mind alone, thereby projecting and living within and as myself as negative energy, my own fears of being overweight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own fears towards and within people whom I deem as being overweight – from within which the fears that I project are culturally born and reinforced through my active participation within and as the mind as separation as spite, blame and judgments towards and within those that I perceive as being different than me – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me judging a person as being “less than me” because of being overweight or different than me, I thus place myself as being “less than me” from within which I experience negatively charged energies within and as myself because of me “projecting” my sense of self towards and within another being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my sense of self towards and within other beings, not realising that the mere act of projection manifests within and as myself, the energetically charged entities that are correlated with the culturally/mind consciousness, accepted and allowed perception of another based on their physical attributes such as weight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am in front of a women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am in front of a man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am faced with a women whom I perceive as being overweight because of the picture presentation of themselves which I perceive, through the filter of the culturally induced perception as the mind, as being “unattractive” thus experiencing within myself, the feeling of “unattractiveness” as the temporal possession of negative energies that I experience as myself, when I put myself inside the shoes of an overweight women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am within the presence of a woman whom I perceive as being beautiful, through the transformation and manipulation of myself as the modification of my behaviours, stances, glances and mannerisms, only so that I can be positively perceived by the women/girl whom I perceive as being beautiful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act differently when I am within the presence of a woman whom I perceive as being unattractive, through the transformation and manipulation of myself as the modification of my behaviours, stances, glances and mannerisms, only so that I can be released from the negative energies that I experience within and as myself because of me projecting my sense of self towards and within the women that I perceive as being unattractive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automate the judgments I express towards other beings, such as the automation of the “back chats” that occurs whenever I silently within my mind, judge another person/being as being “unattractive” thus “less than the positive experience of myself” rather than stop my participation within judgments as backchat so that I can free myself from the mind possession and transform myself to what is best for all, one and equal to all life and all living beings.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being equal and one with all beings that I encounter in my world/life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to remain stable, within and as the physical, whenever I encounter/exchange/participate within another being in this world – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become instable, such as letting myself be possessed by positive or negatively charged energies whenever I am within the company of a being whom I perceive as being “more than” me or “less than me”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within games of “more than” and “lesser than” whenever I participate within the act of exchanging with another being – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-LIE-ve that who I am as self-expression is the result of energy – that who I am as life expression is energy which is never stable but remains forever manipulated by the ups and downs of experiences – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am as life is not of energy which is never stable, but who I am as life is the physical, which remains forever stable HERE within and as life as the principle of Oneness and Equality.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that who I am as life, is the principle of Oneness and Equality, as it is common sense that all living beings are equals through and as the needs of the physical – all living beings share the same fundamental needs from within the grounds of equality as physicality as life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I as who I am truly as life as the physical, does not judge or separate or participate within games of winners and losers as the mind, but remains stable, unmoved by the energetic possessions of the mind, HERE, one and equal as life as all living beings in the world.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “judgments of those who are different than me” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of judgment towards others, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the judgment arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the judgment game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in judgment as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “judging others” through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being a reject because of not having any girlfriends or that many friends to spend the time with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the fact that I do not have any girlfriends as justifications, blame and spite towards and within myself as the judgment of being a reject.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as who I am now, based on the interactions and experiences that I had when I was a teenager growing up in this world, within which I would regularly experience being bullied by my classmates because of the fact that I looked different to what was perceived as being normal by those who were bullying me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give power to those who were bullying me, within which I would grant them permission to treat me as and within abuse where I would regularly be teased at, thrown stuff at, be ridiculed in front of others – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined by the interactions I’ve had with those who were bullying me, rather than defining myself according to who and what I am as life as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my mind, as a means of protection from those who were bullying me, from within which I would spite, blame, accuse those who were bullying me from within the silences of my mind as backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire that those who were bullying me would die before I would, from within which I would entertain surges of positive energy towards and within the thought that I would “outlive them” as a desire of self-gratification from within which I would use the thought of “me outliving them” as being a grounds for my “superiority” as being “more than them” simply because of the possibility of having outlived them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to make myself as being “more than others” because of the overwhelming feeling of being “less than others” which was generated within myself every time I was being teased at throughout my teenage years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within games of “energy” as I would, from that moment on, seek to find ways to make me feel “more than others” as being “more than those who bullied me” through me participating within games of “energy vampirism” where I would later on in my life, practice specific techniques of meditation only so that I would feel “more than myself” as a consequence-outflow from being teased at when I was a teenager.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the game of energy I was participating in as the game of acquiring energy through meditative practices, would generate a “personality suit” of a positively charged entity within and as myself, which would, from the moment where I allowed myself to participate within the game of “positive energy build-up” grow and grow within and as myself up to the point of becoming uncontrollable as the manifestation of the “mental illness” as bipolar disease.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “close my eyes” as the act of deliberately shutting down the words of common sense that were busy manifesting within and as my mind as I allowed myself to let the manifestation of the “positively charged entity” take full control of my body, as I would deliberately stop taking care of my physical body for the expense of the “manic experiences” that would be generated within and as me through the “positively charged entity”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the “positively charged entity” take full control of my body, where I would deliberately shut my ears to the common sensical words that would be coming from my physical body as I would enclose myself within the “positively charged entity” so as to experience the temptation as the reward as the positive energy that the “positively charged entity” would make me experience within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by the desire to live an experience of “high” as the experience of “flying high within the mind” as I was experiencing my first manic episode from within which I would deliberately close my eyes to the physical consequences of my mind possession because of being too much enthralled by the experience of “flying high” from within which I would deliberately forget about my physical body’s needs only so that I could continue on with my dependency of “flying high” as the accumulation of positive energy within and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek experiences of “highs” through meditative practices only so that I could suppress the “lows” as the experiences of being bullied as I was a teenager growing up in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise that the act of seeking positive energies as the highs that I experienced through meditative practices only suppressed the negative energies as the lows that I experienced within and as myself as I was a teenager growing up in this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of seeking positive energy through my active participation within meditative practices only suppressed further and further down the depths of my being, all of the negative energies that I experienced through being bullied as I was a teenager – and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the suppression of me as the negative energies of me only accentuated the grounding of and as the mental disorder that was later on diagnosed in me as being bipolar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was and am not responsible for the creation of the mental disorder that I am now experiencing as being bipolar, because of the belief that the disorder was genetically passed on to me from previous generations – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take full responsibility of my mental condition and bring about a cure within and as myself, throughout an active participation within the process of self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait until the “final minute” before taking action from within which CHANGE will be made possible through my active participation within writing myself to freedom through self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I do the exact same thing to those that I judge as being “less than me” from within which I project unto them my own feelings of rejection – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I treat those that I reject the same way that I was treated with those who rejected me, thus continuing the abuse without making a stop to it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I abuse those that I reject the same way that I was abused by those who rejected me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop my participation within the abuse of another through the act of rejection.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that no one is rejected within the greater picture of life, as life does not reject anyone but allows everyone to exist, one and equal to all living beings.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “fear of being rejected” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of fear of being rejected, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the fear arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the fear game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in fear of being rejected as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “rejection” through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

Today I want to do something different within my blog. I will specifically have a look at the word “Arrogance” and how it plays out within and as me – how I am currently living the word, what definitions and values I have attached to it. In the end of the blog, I will write self-corrective statements to correct my living expression of this word, so that It would reflect a new definition that is best for all.

I will use a technique that has just recently come to my awareness through the Earth’s journey to life blog, to which has come to my awareness through the reading of a destonian’s blog which have applied the practice. The technique essentially consists of the act of redefining words so that they would reflect a new definition within and as self, as the starting point of change as the words that self uses in order to create this reality, one word/action at a time. Through the application of various methods which are described in the Earth’s journey to life blog, one is able to redefine words that one uses as self-expression so that the word may be free of any polarised charges. For more information on this particular technique and how you can apply it to yourself, just follow the following links:

1)     Day 4: Redefining words – Part 1

2)     Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) – Playing polarity games

3)     Day 6: Redefining words (Part 3) – Experience of the Polarity game

4)     Day 7: Redefining Words (Part 4)- Redefining words as living words

5)     Day 8 – Redefining words (Part 5) – How to redefine words – Gathering Information stage

6)     Day9: Redefining Words (Part 6) How to redefine words – Investigate the word

1. Gathering Information stage

a)       Establishing Self’s Allocation point:

I always perceived this word as being a word that would place the one receiving the word in a “upper” or “greater than” position in relationship to the one giving the word out. Within my personal experiences with this word, the giving aspect of this word mostly manifests itself within “backchat” where I internally tell myself “he/she is so arrogant” as reactions towards the words/actions/deeds that another directed unto myself. On occasions where I have expressed this word outwardly, such as when I would perceive the behaviour of a sports player that I didn’t approve, I would yell out “I ate him because he is arrogant” within which I would experience myself as being “less than” the being I would define as such.  What strikes me now is that I have mostly used this word within the enclosure of my mind as backchat – not having expressed it outwards that many times towards others. Thus, the giving out of the word “arrogance” is mostly done unto myself within and as my mind, thereby being at the same time, the receiver and the giver of the word “arrogance”. When I am at the receiving end of this word, such as when another tells me that I am arrogant, I usually experience myself as feeling conflicted between the negative charges and the positive charges that are culturally associated with this word. On the positive charge, I then see myself as being “greater than” the person telling me that I am arrogant, because I have associated this word with the state of being “overly confident” or of having “greater confidence” in relationship with another. On the negative charge, I simultaneously see myself as not being a “good person” because of the negative associations I have made towards and within the word arrogant – I do not see myself as being a good person because of having seen arrogant people as being individuals who act for their sole self-interests without any care whatsoever for the consequences of their actions towards others. Thus, either by me being the one giving or receiving the word arrogance, the one constant is that this word generates friction within and as myself which manifests as a feeling of being conflicted between the positive charges of the word – I am greater, more confident than the other – and the negative charges of the word – I am not a good caring person towards the other.

b)      Dictionary Definition:

Definition of ARROGANCE:

(1)     An attitude of superiority manifested in an overbearing manner or in presumptuous claims or assumptions.

(2)     An insulting way of thinking or behaving that comes from believing that you are better, smarter, or more important than other people

c)    Sounding of the word – Arrogance: 

“Arror Gance” = Error Glanced – where one glances at a behaviour which is a fundamental error between human’s assessment of each other, being that one’s glance into another’s behaviour is fundamentally flawed because of only considering what is perceived within the moment as the basis upon which the assesment is made rather than considering the entirety of the person’s past within the assessment. When one asses someone as being “arrogant”, one is committing an error of human judgment through perceiving another at a glance, without taking into consideration all aspects which motivates their behaviour. One is arrogant when one acts without full consideration of another’s past within one’s judgment – acting at a glance rather than acting as awareness.

2. Investigating the information of the word that has been gathered :

Determining whether the definition within the different aspects that I have gathered as information of the word, carry a polarity charge (is made “good”/”positive” or “bad”/”negative”)?

a)      My own personal experience with the word arrogance:  

As I was growing up in this world – as a child – I never really was introduced to this word as it wasn’t a word that I was accustomed at using or seeing. Although in retrospect, I have seen behaviours which I would now describe as being arrogant, I wasn’t then aware that the behaviours that I was witnessing represented arrogance. I generally saw arrogance as the natural behaviour of my father, however not seeing him as being arrogant per say, but rather confident as the authority figure in our household. Within the fact that the word arrogance wasn’t present within my vocabulary as I was growing up, I can still say however that I have experienced the meaning of the word in some particular instances later on within my formative years. One particular experience that I remember where I was at the giving end of arrogance came as I was a teenager. I remember that I was constantly teased by other classmates whom presented themselves as being “more than me”. The way that they would claim that they were “more than me” concerned that they would present themselves as “having more than me”, through games of comparisons and competitions where I was perceived as being the “loser” and them the “winners”. They would allow themselves to bully me through giving themselves the allowances to treat me as if I was “less than them” because I accepted and allowed seeing myself as being “less than” them. I remember that some of the factors which played out in my mind to which they and I used in order to determine that I was “less than them” was the fact that I have brown skin and that I was skinny looking as I was growing up. We both used these facts as determining factors from within which we gave ourselves the statuses of the bully and the bullied. I remember that I was afraid of being left alone with them because of the ways that they would treat me, such as pinning me against my locker and calling me derogative names. Later on in my life, I started using the word arrogance when I perceived within another’s behaviour, the same traits that I have associated with those who bullied me as I was a teenager. Specifically, the traits which brought me to judge another as being arrogant revolved around one’s facial expression. When I would see someone look at me or look at someone else with eyes and smile that would make me reminisce those who bullied me, I would judge them as being arrogant within which I would experience myself as the same feeling that I experienced when I was bullied, which was the feeling of being “less than another”. Even when I was at the receiving end of the word arrogance, as was the case when another would call me arrogant – as it was the case a few times when I was within a competitive activity with a friend – I still generally experienced myself as being negatively charged within and as myself. The only few times when I didn’t experience a negatively charged reaction within myself through another calling me arrogant came when I was actually seeing myself as being “more than others”. Such instances generally came when I experienced manic episodes – a symptom of my condition of being bipolar – or when I actually felt as being the “winner” in front of another. So basically the word arrogance was mostly negatively charged throughout my lifetime.

b)      Self-Forgiveness on the word arrogance : 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear arrogance within the belief that I am always on the giving end of the word arrogance within the relationship with another – from within which I experience myself as being negatively charged, or “less than” another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as being “less than another” whenever I hear the word arrogance through me still holding onto the negatively charged experiences that I lived as I was a teenager in this world, where I was regularly bullied by others through our tacitly agreed upon statuses as the bully and the bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “less than” those who present themselves as “having more than” me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that who I am now is a manifestation that is emerging from the starting point of separation and thus, everything I do and say supports separation which means that I cannot do freely what I want but instead I have to take self-responsibility in establishing myself within the directive principle of living what’s best for all within the realization that I am not separate from anyone or anything else but am one and equal to all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel “less than” another because of the tone of my skin or the appearance of my being and through this, having blamed life and myself for the predicament that I am in within and as my physical body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and life as my physical body for the judgments of others towards me – and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the judgments that others have against me are the same judgments that I have against myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge against my physical body and life in general for having given me the physical attributes which others use in order to make them “more than me” through the act of arrogance.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into hiding within my mind whenever I hear/see someone who is behaving in ways which are arrogant and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to act as CHANGE in my behaviour whenever I am in the presence of someone who express the traits of arrogance towards me or someone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself against the behaviour of someone who exhibits arrogant traits because of the underlying belief that the person is right in his ways of arrogance because of me seeing them as being “more than me” and me seeing myself as being “less than them”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as being “less than” those who exhibit traits of arrogance – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep silent whenever I experience the feeling of being “less than” another which allows the abuse to continue through arrogance.

c)       New definition: 

Arrogance is the behaviour of someone who is acting without consideration of the consequences of its actions towards others as itself. A person is arrogant – Error Again – when it expresses behaviours which are based on the perceived possessions of that person as being “more than” those of another, which is an error that is repeating itself as long as the person participates within games of “winners/haves” and “losers/have nots”.

d)      Self-corrective statements in how I practically will walk the stoppage of arrogance within me: 

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “arrogance” – Error Glanced – pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of arrogance “I am more than another” or “I am less than another”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the arrogance arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the arrogance game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in arrogance as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “arrogance” through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

I commit myself to stop “glancing” at the behaviour of another and from there, stop judging another according to a “glance” without the consideration of all of the person’s past within my perception of another.

I commit myself to stop using arrogance in front of another, as the act of perceiving myself as “having more than” or “being more than” another, while basing my perception on what separates me from another, such as what I have that the other does not, rather than perceiving me as that which is equal and one with another, as the physical as life.

I commit myself to stop looking at the possessions of another in my assessment of another.

I commit myself to stop any and all experiences of wanting more than I can handle where within that I first stand in complete clarity within myself and my immediate environment.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

This morning when I woke up, I still felt overly sleepy as if I hadn’t had enough sleep during the night – which seems unreasonable since I usually sleep in the vicinity of 10 hours per day since about 8 months or so. The reason why I am sleeping as much is in direct relationship to the medication that I have been taking for the past months. I have been diagnosed as being bipolar – to which I have already commented on some of my previous posts – and am forced to take medication in order to control the condition.

However, one of the side effects of the medication is that I tend to oversleep because of the induced sensation of drowsiness that comes with the intake of the medication. I usually do not feel the effects of drowsiness when I wake up, primarily because I allow myself to sleep as long as I feel sleepy – being that I currently do not have a job or any social obligations that would force me to wake up at predefined moments. However, I am currently planning on waking up sooner than what I have accustomed myself to for the past few months, being that I usually wake up around the vicinity of 1 pm. I want to wake up sooner because I am planning on re-joining the working environment shortly. The problem that I am thus facing concerns the fact that the medication that I am taking makes me sleep more than what would be sufficient.

I never liked taking the medication that has been prescribed to me in order to treat my mental condition. Ever since the first prognostic of bipolar disorder back in 2003, I have passed many years without taking the medication. The fact that I didn’t perceive my condition as being an illness played within my decision to not take the medication. Also, I wasn’t followed by the medical corps within the years prior to the end of last year, meaning that I wasn’t regularly checked by any psychiatrist prior to the end of 2011. This situation has changed however, since I now am ordered by court to have regular visits to my psychiatrists in order to ensure that I take my medication. Thus, I currently have to take the medication even if I feel physically worse with my medication. So, the problem I am now facing is that in order for me to function properly within society, it has been deemed by the medical corps that I have to take my medication in order to control the bipolar disorder. The side effect of that is that, like I said earlier, I feel generally drowsier when I wake up, not discarding that I also feel less energetically active with the medication running rampant within my system.

Coming back to the drowsy feeling that I experienced when I woke up today, what I experienced was due to the fact that I forced myself to wake up before I completely felt fresh and awake – to which I will have to enforce as the day will go along because I am planning on reintegrating the working environment soon. Thus, the problem I am facing is that I have to take the medication even if it makes me feel sleepy when I wake up. The fact that I want to wake up earlier in order to instil a new habit of sleeping comes into conflict with the reality that is generated by the medication that I have to take. Thus, since I have to take the medication, I’ll have to force myself to awake sooner and sooner until I reach my goal of waking up at around 8 am before I’ll feel comfortable in re-joining the working environment.

What the situation that I experienced this morning has brought to my awareness however, concerns the act of sleeping in itself. The fact that I usually oversleep, even if it is induced by the medication that I have to take, shows that I am in a way, having a will to hide from my responsibilities as a human being, preferring to remain in bed rather than face what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind. Thus, I will have a look at the act of sleeping itself throughout the application of self-forgiveness in order to release myself from the unconscious desire to not face what needs to be faced if I am to be consistent with my commitment to bring about what is best for all life.

Self-forgiveness on sleeping/oversleeping:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to oversleep because of the unconscious desire to remain in bed rather than facing my reality for what I have accepted and allowed it to become as my world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of oversleeping is an act of abuse and dishonesty because through this act, I am stating that I do not want to change who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become which is a being of abuse through the constant participation in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “not want to change” through me oversleeping or staying in bed even if I am consciously aware of being awake – and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the act of oversleeping means that I “do not want to change” thereby stating that I prefer remaining engulfed within my own little bubble of dreamlike fantasies rather than opening my eyes up through the bursting of my little bubble in order to see/understand and realise what needs to be done in order to bring about a world that is best for all life, equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the medication as a justification that supports the condition that I do not want to partake in any longer, although stating through the mere act of waking up late that I still want to partake in the condition that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as the mind – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me staying in bed late, I am being dishonest with my statement of change because of continuing within the patterns of “shutting my eyes at the world” rather than bursting my bubble of comfort so as to bring about real effective change in my life and in the world at large.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sleep as a means to hide myself form my responsibilities towards myself as the physical as life, thereby wallowing within worlds of fantasies rather than waking up from the slumber and hypnosis of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear sleeping less because of the fear of having too much time on my hands, now that I am currently out of work/job, if I am to wake up sooner within my days.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that by sleeping less and less, that I will have more opportunities to self-correct through self-forgiveness because of having more “awake time” on my hands, from within which new perspective/points will emerge for me to apply self-forgiveness in order to bring about real effective change for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to favour sleeping over waking up in the morning because of the fear of having to spend more time alone with myself in full awareness, not realising that the more time I have to face myself as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as the mind, the more I will have opportunities to CHANGE for what is best for all life – through the process of self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I only need between 4 and 6 hours of sleep per night in order for the physical to feel refreshed and ready to face the day.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the reason why I prefer sleeping than being awake is that I fear the day as the moment where I have to make decisions and actions for the survival of the lifestyle that I have accustomed as being my own.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel drowsy when I wake up sooner than I usually do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself within this current self-forgiveness statement because of having difficulties in finding specific points in regards to the act of oversleeping – whereas I become redundant and repetitive within my statements just so that I may reach the point I have set out for myself which is to write as much self-forgiveness statements as possible just so as to show that I am applying myself – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that it is not about the quantity of self-forgiveness statements that I can make, but the quality as the “real” as the true “self-reflecting points” of self-forgiveness rather than points that are not the expression of what is currently HERE as the honest expression of myself HERE within and as the physical as what emerges from moment to moment.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to remain true to the points which are emerging from moment to moment as points of self-forgiveness, even if they are not perceived as being related to the subject that I am focussing on at a given moment of self-forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that sleep is not necessary as it is the expression of the desire of mankind to not face what it is that we globally create within this world – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep as a systematic mechanism that represents the will of mankind to let things as they are, meaning to let the abuse of life continue as it is without us intervening in order to change this system of abuse towards a system that dignifies life such as the equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep more than what is necessary just because I “like” being in a dreamlike state – and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “like” a mind generated state which is abusive in nature for it allows abuse to continue in this world while I remain silent and inactive within the grasp of slumber and sleep.

I commit myself into bringing about a world where life is dignified and where money serves life rather than life serving money.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “oversleeping” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of oversleeping as “I am too tired to wake up”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the slumber arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the slumber game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in slumber as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “sleeping” through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

Today, I went for an outing with my mother after she came and visited me at my apartment as a surprise. I wasn’t expecting her and wasn’t expecting eating either, as she proposed that we could go out and eat a hot dog and fries at a local restaurant in a city which is about 10 kilometers away from where I live. At first sight, I felt that there was something sad about my mother in her eyes, as if she was saddened by something. Without thinking about it much though, we went for a drive towards the restaurant and had a chat as we were going there.

Once arrived at location, she decided that we could go eat next to the river that ran next to the restaurant. I told my mother that I didn’t want to eat, as it was the day where I have scheduled myself not to eat – as I normally eat only once per 2 days, as it maintains my weight at just the right level as much as it helps me keep up with my finances considering that I am currently out of work. Thus, today being the day where I would normally have skipped eating – we as humans eat far too much for our own maintenance, I believe that we could be in great shape if we would eat less per day as it seems unnecessary to eat as much as we do – but since I was with my mother, I decided to join her and have a part of the meal that she bought at the restaurant.

We thus went to sit at a table near the river that ran next to the restaurant. There, we ate and had a chat about what was busy happening in our lives at the moment. It was within these next moments that I understood the sadness that I saw in my mother’s eyes as I first seen her face after she came at my apartment as a surprise. She told me that ever since she stopped working – she is currently 64 years old – that she felt bored because of lacking in things to do and having too much free time on her hands. As soon as she said that she was bored, I began to feel bored myself because the point of boredom which was latent within myself prior to the moment where my mother told me she was bored, resurfaced as she made the statement. I thus started feeling empty inside myself, because I knew that I too am generally bored nowadays – having actually no work and a lot of free time on my hands.

Once my mother started talking about her boredom, I saw an opening in her eyes and her face began to slightly change so that I could see her sadness in her eyes and skin. That’s when I began to feel sad also, for I am still emotionally attached to my mother and whatever she makes known of her feelings, I usually end up feeling close or equal to. There was this point that wanted to emerge as a movement that pushed me to cry with my mother’s presence, but I bottled it up inside me. This made me feel more and more sad about my current situation in my life, as the fact of not working and not having any girlfriend or that many friends to pass time with, pushed me to see my life as being a failure, although only within the limited scope of my current situation in life.

I wanted to help my mother feel better about herself because that would make me feel better about myself – not realising that I was within this moment, a slave to the mind as the emotions started to have the best of me. I started talking to my mother about the desteni group as a group which supports me in getting myself rid of what keeps me locked and enslaved within and as the mind through writing myself to freedom in a blog that I informed her of having. Although I felt a bit insecure about telling her that I was still with the desteni group – as she is aware that I have experienced many ups and downs ever since I joined the group back in 2008, to which she believes the group to be a determining factor in my 4 hospitalisations for a diagnosed mental illness of being bipolar.

I told my mother that the group supported me more than what she could perceive and that it would be beneficial for her to join us so that she too could work on herself throughout the process of self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty. However, to my sadness, she told me that she didn’t want to do what we did – which was simply to write herself to freedom – , even if I told her that it could occupy her free time as a beneficial practice for her to follow. She lacks the knowledge that I gained from watching all of the relatively important videos and documents made by Desteni regarding who we are really as the evil in this world as our minds from within which we separate ourselves from and as life. Although knowledge and information without practical application serves no one in this world, the information that I gained from watching the Desteni videos and documents gives me perspective that reinforces the intuition that we all have of the world as being hell because of the mind. This perspective that the knowledge and information shared through the desteni material gives me the incentive to participate within the proposed desteni process, as I now see that it is the only real application that can make me change for the better of all life in this planet. It is thus this perspective that I wished to share with my mother, so that she would decide to participate, just as I am, within the process of self-forgiveness, self-writing, self-corrective application and self-honesty. I wasn’t able to convince her of the benefits of the process at that current time, for I was still under the influence of the sadness that she made me feel after she told me that she was bored nowadays. But I will eventually give her the address of my blog, so that she can see the process in action throughout my writings.

This is not the time for that however, as I now need to self-forgive myself for the points of boredom that has emerged throughout my participation with my mother today.

Self-forgiveness on boredom:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bored and to express that boredom through me “shutting down” within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bored because of not having any girlfriend or that many friends to share my time with in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel saddened when my mother told me that she was bored, because of me being still attached emotionally to the feelings of my mother and through this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be manipulated by the feelings of my mother as the reactions to the virtual presence of my mother within my mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of boredom is not who I am, but is only an energetically generated reaction towards an event of significance in my life, such as my reactions towards the word “bored” as expressed by my mother, which manipulates my actions to mimic those that are usually expressed within those feelings, which is not what is best for all but actually reinforces the system of this world through me not finding the will to stand up and change within such moments of boredom.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the “feeling of boredom” is an opportunity for me to self-correct, through me standing up from within boredom and immediately apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective application and remain stable HERE within and as BREATH.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let boredom determine the quality of my life experience, where I lack the motivation to change when within boredom because of being assaulted with negative emotions which pushes me to lock myself within my mind even further rather than standing up from within my mind through the decree of me stating “NO MORE, I will not accept or allow being possessed by boredom any further”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the feeling of boredom through me watching television, reading senseless information throughout the internet or me staring blankly at the sky rather than actually standing up and act in accordance with what needs to be done HERE in order for CHANGE to be made REAL such as writing myself to freedom, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in boredom through the feelings of sadness, from within which the depressive energy pushes me to “not act” and remain engulfed in sadness just as one would be engulfed in moving sands where each movement made only pushes me deeper into the feeling of sadness – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the feeling of sadness can be stopped through self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty from within which I can find the courage to stand up from sadness and act in order to bring about REAL CHANGE in this world as what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek/want/desire to change another as the example of my mother, because of the want/need/desire to feel good about myself if I am to bring about a positive energy to another who is feeling the effects of negative energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to feel good about myself through the proxy of another, without realising that I am thus enslaving myself to the feelings of another such as my mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bored because of not having a lot of things to do and of having a lot of free time on my hands – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I can use the free time and the fact that I do not have a lot of things to do as opportunities to write myself to freedom, self-forgive myself and enounce self-corrective statements that I can apply HERE in order to bring about effective change in this world that is best for all life, equal and one with all beings in this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that boredom is a pattern that I use within my mind, in order to keep on deluding myself that I am not responsible for what is currently happening in the world/my world, rather than stopping myself from the feeling of boredom so that I can ACT AS A RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING and bring about REAL change in my world and the world at large.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel empty inside as the prime sensation/feeling that comes with the feeling of boredom and through this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack the will to change when I am under the influence of boredom because of the belief that I am too small to bring about change in this/my world, not realising that it is with the power of a group such as desteni that real CHANGE can occur in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reinforce the feeling of boredom through me listening to music from within which I reminisce times of the past where I was more active thus reinforcing the feeling of sadness associated with boredom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become bored when someone who is close to me expresses being bored.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the urge to cry when I am under the influence of boredom because of me feeling diminished from the ideal of myself which lurks within the shadows of my mind rather than being equal to and one with the physical as who I truly am here as all as one as life equal to all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad about myself when participating within the comparison game with another when feeling bored, through me comparing myself to the status of another as being less than or more than another depending on what I have or not have as compared to what another has or not.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that boredom is a feeling that comes out of the game of comparison with another as boredom is the negative energy experienced when I compare my current status to the status of another whom I perceive as belonging to the same group as I am.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop comparing myself to another through the reaction of boredom from within which I silently compare myself negatively towards another or a group of people who share similar characteristics with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel depressed thus experiencing negative outflows of energy when I experience boredom, rather than standing up from boredom and the game of negative and positive energies through me stating “NO MORE”, stop and apply self-forgiveness, self-honesty and self-corrective application.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to make another feel better about him/herself so that I could feel good about myself and within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that through me participating in acts of seeking to make another feel better about him/herself through making me feel better about myself, only reinforces the belief that I am the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions and thus is not in the best interest of all, as the mind is the deceptive nature of mankind which allows abuse to exist within this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the best I can do in order to help another with their feelings is not to partake in the emotions/feelings/sensations that they experiment and remain stable HERE within and as the physical so that I can ACT according to what is best for all life, equal and one with all living beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by what another person is feeling, not realising that when I do so, I diminish the scope of my actions to that which is permitted by the limits of the feelings experienced, thus not acting in order of what is best for all life, for still being manipulated by the feelings of the mind.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “boredom” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of boredom as “I have nothing to do”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the boredom arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the boredom game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in boredom as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “boredom” and from blaming myself and others as being bored, through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com

 

Yesterday on tv was a show about how people obey to authority. It went to show through a scientific experiment that even if the act imposed by the authority figure goes against the values of the person executing the act, the person is more than likely to execute the act and go against its innermost fundamental values.  This experiment was made in France where a group of select individuals were placed within a situation of pressure that would challenge their values regarding the act that they were ordered to commit against another human being.

The principle of the experiment was that the people that were selected to make the experiment were given questions that they had to address to an individual that remained hidden from their sight. They were placed in an environment of pressure that was acting as a determining factor that would push/pressure the individuals to commit acts that went against their values.

The selected individuals were place in a false television set, where they were led to believe that they were participating in a television show that was named “shock effect”. They had to give electrical shocks that grew as the questions went along, to an unseen individual that they could hear. When the hidden individual would commit faults to questions that the select individuals were ordered to ask him, they were ordered to give electrical shocks through a panel that had ever increasing voltages switches that was in front of them. Each time the hidden individual would commit faults to the question asked, the selected individuals would have to press ever increasing switches that would administer electric shocks to the hidden individual.

Even though the set-up of this experiment was false, meaning that the individual that was answering the questions was an actor and would only mimic being electrocuted as the question went along, the participants of the experiment acted as if everything was real and we were able to see the reactions that they expressed as they had to shock the unseen individual to ever increasing voltages. About 80% of the individuals that were selected to make the experiment followed the direct orders that were given to them by the fake animator of the television program. That meant that only about 20% of the individuals went against the orders given to them by the authority figure, which in this case was the false animator of the false television program. The factors that played within the heads of those who were participating within the experiment were the fact that they were in a believed television program – they were in a real studio with real cameras and a real audience throughout the experiments – where each and every of their actions were perceived by those who were attending the false show as much as the show’s host, who remained stoic throughout all of the questions that they had to ask the hidden individual.

The fact that the majority was able to obey to the animator that was pushing them to ask the questions even if they would hear the hidden individual scream as he received ever increasing electrical shocks through false answers, shows just how much we are conditioned to obey to authority figures even if the act of obedience itself goes against the most fundamental values of what it is to be a human being in this world – at least towards the values that were programmed into us through our participation within our different upbringings.

As I was watching the television show, I kept asking myself if I would go all the way if I was in the place of those who were executing the orders of the television host. I know that I do not handle pressure well thus I believe that the amount of pressure that would be around me if I were to have been chosen to make this experiment would have played in my decisions to pursue or stop the experiment.

I remember that when I was young, the principal authority figure in my world was my father. I used to obey him out of the fear of the consequences that would happen to me if I were to do as I please instead. This impression of the authority figure as my father has been projected outward throughout all around me as I was growing up in this world making it so that I saw a piece of my father within each and all person of authority in this world.

The main ingredient that pushes one to execute the orders given by an authority figure is the fear of having to face the consequences if one is not to obey to the authority figure. Just like I feared the reactions of my father for not obeying his orders – he used to beat me when I went against his will – I also feared the reactions of those whom I perceive as having an authority upon me as I was growing up in this world.

Self-forgiveness on obedience:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly obey to a figure of authority in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the reactions of those which have the status of authority in this world, through me be-lie-ving/projecting the unconscious image/behaviour of my father upon those that share status of authority in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear disobeying to the authority figure in my world – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear disobeying the mind as the perceived authority of me in my world, as it is only the mind which perceives statuses of authority or subservience within beings in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow my mind as the authority figure of me in my world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I have internalised the presence of my father as the prime example of the authority figure in my world, within my mind, whereas I follow and obey to my father as the internalised presence of authority within and as my mind throughout my participation in this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the mind as that which I follow is the authority in my world towards which I obey out of the fear of having to face the consequences that awaits me if I am not to obey my mind throughout my participation in this world – just as I feared the dire consequences of my actions if I were to disobey the orders/commands of my father as I was growing up in this world.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the mind has become the authority of me in my world, rather than realising the common sensical evidence  that the only authority of me in my world is the Physical Body as it is the only entity which has true power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself as what I believe as being as the mind from my physical body as what I truly am, within the statement of “the physical body is the only entity which has true power over me” – thus not realising that within this same statement exists the foundation of my separation towards myself as what I truly am as the God of my existence which is my physical body, equal and one with and as existence itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the consequences of my actions as the reactions of my mind if I am not to obey the orders that I give to myself through my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the reactions of my mind if I am not to follow its orders, such as the negative feelings, negative thoughts, negative emotions within which the experience of negative energy pushes/pressures me to follow the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions just as the participant of the television show (see above) follows the orders of the fake television host because of the pressure they feel to obey even if the act of obedience goes against their values.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow the orders given to me by the mind, such as smoking pot, drinking alcool and smoking cigarettes even if such orders goes against my nature as the physical body – within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm my body through the taking of substances such as pot, alcool and cigarettes only because I fear disobeying the perceived authority in my world as the mind, within which the act of disobedience generates negative thoughts, feelings and emotions within me as negative energy that pushes/pressures me to act according to the mind’s orders so that I may experience positive thoughts, positive feelings and positive emotions as positive energy once more – within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the positive energy as the feeling of flying high experienced is only fleeting and the positive energy consumes the very life essence of me as the physical until there is no more physicality to consume within which I experience crashes as falling down thus re-experimenting negative energy – within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the pursuit of positive energy invites the pursuit of negative energy and that within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I entrap myself as the physical as the god of me within an endless cycle of positive to negative energy as the consumption, destruction and abuse of the physical as life continues.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to completely stop my participation within this endless cycle of abuse of the physical as life through me continuing with my “pursuit of happiness” through orders given to me by my mind for the pursuit of my self-interested happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work for the pursuit of my happiness while shutting a blind eye at the dire consequences of that pursuit towards my fellow living beings as each and every living being in this planet.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question the mind as the authority in my world, so that I may deconstruct, see and realise that that which I blindly follow as the mind is not who I am, but a parasite which feeds on the physical as me until there is no more substance/physicality to consume.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blindly follow the mind without realising that through my obedience towards my mind, I ensure that I as the physical will continuously be consumed by my mind until there will be no more physicality to consume as death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a limited existence that is only existent so that the mind as the parasite of me as the physical body continues its abuse of life as the continuous consumption of physicality through the energetic possessions as the mind.

If and when I see myself moving or about to move into the mind through the “obedience” pattern, I stop, breathe, remind myself that it is a pattern of me as the mind I no longer want to engage for it is not what is best for me and what is best for all, One and Equal.

When and as I see myself moving into the automatic personality of blind obedience as “I have to act in accordance to the pursuit of my happiness”, I stop, breathe, see if i have missed an opportunity to self-correct into Oneness and Equality from which the blind obedience arose, if so, I forgive myself, stand up from the blind obedience game and self-correct, if not i stop, self-forgive my participation in blind obedience as an automated response to a pattern of self-abuse and bring myself back Here in and as Breath.

I commit myself to stop myself from entertaining ideas and beliefs about “blind obedience” and from blaming myself and others as “authority figures in my world” while the only authority in this world is the physical, through the use of thoughts and emotions, ideas and beliefs, comparisons and games of winners and losers to establish myself as an example of how Life could be for everyone outside of the limited living of the Mind of illusions and back into Life as the Physical, One and Equal for every living Being.

 

See these blogs:

Heaven’s Journey to Life

Creation’s Journey to Life

Earth’s Journey to Life

And other Journey to Life blogs

Desteni.org

Equalmoney.org

And check the e-bookstore as well as FREE downloads at Eqafe.com